All About Teaching Values
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applelemon:
applelemon,I totally agree with you on that kids mirror their parents. As a teacher, I dont see pupils in class. I see their parents in class. They bring their parents' behaviour into the class - good, very good, polite, aggressive, rude, ill-behaved.
i guess sometimes, what you see in class are not the 'parents', but the 'maids'. with many dual income family relying on domestic help to look after the kids, it is inevitable that these kids may pick up a habit or 2 from them.
hence it is very important for the parents with maids looking after their kids to educate the maids as well. -
I also feel EQ/智慧/ wisdom is much more important then academics . Lots of clever people commit crimes, cheat or live life irresponsibly and that lead to failure or generally unhappy life- 聪明反被聪明误. EQ is related to values too… things like honesty, treating people nicely and doing the right thing, learning responsibility and civic consciousness.
Instilling the values and developing the EQ is the difficult part. It is easier to just let the maid pick up after my notty 3 yr old make a mess of his toys, letting him off with just a reprimand when he tell a lie.
Just tried out a variation of the time out method today…
He make a mess of all his puzzles and when I question him, he look me in the eye and denies doing it repeatedly. (he knows I am going to make him keep them if he admit to it) So I make him say “I will not lie again” ten times as he stand in his naughty corner. Seems to have some effect. Hopefully, this will “cure” the lying phase quickly. -
thanks for the tip insider
Yes yes, read about that somewhere before but kind of hard when we come to application.
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Academic these days may be deem important, but I believed good character in one will make him/her go even further. It is important to let our children know what is good-manner, show care and concern, being responsible, etc.
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actually i thought you will go and buy the boxes from the ‘garang-guni’ old ladies rather than go Ikea to buy.
anyway, thanks for sharing! -
How do parents handle peer influence? My son is in K2, I’m quite concerned abt the friends he hangs around with. He has this classmate whom he’s quite close to…and he relates this recent incident to me.
During the arts enrichment class…
This little friend is pretty restless and moves around too much, thus the teacher commented “______, I’m tired at shouting at you to stay still, pls sit down!”
His response “Tired? Then go and sleep lor!”
When my son told me abt this, I couldn’t help but laughed with him also. But after the joke, realised that other than telling him respect for teacher is very important, you can be cheeky but respect for people is the most basic manner one should have.
So far, my son still quite well behave but with the little naughty stories everyday, I just can’t help worrying abt the influence…haha! -
insider:
(then I went to ask one of the shop owners and he gladly told me can take and don’t need to ask. I took two boxes and went to aside, brought out a key to slice the tape to flatten the boxes. BTW, women working in the childcare line are usually very versatile and 'creative' people who can work as good as men. Bud will agree.)
YES! Hear! Hear!
Thick skin not so nice leh...
Wuakakakakakah! :lol:
We are not shy to ask for help
and also assistance for the benefit
of others, in our case insider... its
usually to benefit our children in the
centre at least cost or NO COST lagi
best. Now... \"asking\" - is the best thing
in life which is free.
insider... i can hear inside your son's heart
screaming... karaaaang goooonnneeee!
Btw, i do what you did with my girls too... when
the teachable moments arise. Those moments
are priceless. You never know when it will come
about again... -
hugeclaw:
How do parents handle peer influence?
to start with, a lot of work to be done on honing self esteem and creating a trusting and warm family for the kid to turn to is a way to play down peer influence (ie family's opinion matters more than friends).
all the while i had emphasize in my upbringing about the need to tackle peer influence at its initial stage (buying into cartoon merchandising is a form of peer pressure akin to idol-chasing). however, recently i read somewhere (Today's papers) that certain degree of peer pressure is actually good. the disregard of peer pressure on the extreme side will turn the kid into a low performer.
the key is to try to get the kid to mix with the 'correct' peers. -
I agree.
My girls especially the younger one,
can say our slogan well, \"family first\". -
//Editor's note: Topic selected for http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/two-wolves-inside-us-all.
Haloo KSPs, a little story on values to share with all..
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, 'My son, the battle is between 'two wolves' inside us all.
'One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.'
'The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,
empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, 'Which wolf wins?'
The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'
:celebrate: -
RRMummy:
... One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people...
Wow... this is super chim. But I like! :love: Thanks for sharing, RRMummy! -
good hor..glad u like it! I'll find chance to pass this story to my gals.. :love:
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Hi ALL,
Need some tips from u…
My gal is all what mi and my hubby wish for as a kid who is cheerful, outgoing and smart.
But she is rather strong headed (just like me) and do not admit mistake (not like mi) even though I know after my explaination, she know she is wrong.
The courage to admit mistake and moved on is a value I strongly hold. And knowing my gal soft approach is a better strategy to bring this idea across.
Any experience to share?
I am looking for story books which try to educate values to young kids. Any recommendation?? -
RRMummy:
Hi RRMummy,Haloo KSPs, a little story on values to share with all..
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, 'My son, the battle is between 'two wolves' inside us all.
'One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.'
'The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,
empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, 'Which wolf wins?'
The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'
:celebrate:
Thanks for sharing this story with us. Told it to my son and his behaviour seems to have improved i.e. he is demonstrating higher EQ these two days. :celebrate: Hope this continues.... :xedfingers: -
Bowie:
Hi BowieHi ALL,
Need some tips from u....
My gal is all what mi and my hubby wish for as a kid who is cheerful, outgoing and smart.
But she is rather strong headed (just like me) and do not admit mistake (not like mi) even though I know after my explaination, she know she is wrong.
The courage to admit mistake and moved on is a value I strongly hold. And knowing my gal soft approach is a better strategy to bring this idea across.
Any experience to share?
I am looking for story books which try to educate values to young kids. Any recommendation??
My DD is like yours. She doesn't like to say sorry when it comes to behavioural mistakes. However, she readily says sorry when accidents happens like she spills the water, she knocks into us etc. I think her pride was stopping her. I got her books, Blue's Clues \"I am Sorry\" to shown that saying sorry is fine etc. No much effect.
I used to get really mad and really go on and on abt her refusing to say sorry. That would get everyone upset.
Now, I explain to her the situation, I asked her what she should do and ask her to \"think it out\". She reacts better to this. -
Thanx Sesame for sharing.
Think soft approach work better for my gal too. Sometimes after much \"counselling\" privately, she will admit its her fault.
Guess need a lot of patience + patience+ patience from us, the mommies and daddies.
Got to work harder!! -
Miracle Child:
Hi Miracle Child, Great to hear it made a difference!! Keep us updated.. :celebrate:Hi RRMummy,
Thanks for sharing this story with us. Told it to my son and his behaviour seems to have improved i.e. he is demonstrating higher EQ these two days. :celebrate: Hope this continues.... :xedfingers: -
I do appreciate my son's honesty, however, sometimes it doesn't seem to be on the right side as he would report a 'bad' deed done by his brothers instead. Should i praise him or should i reprimand him for carrying tales? However, I do appreciate what he did, as least i know what is going on btwn them. But at the same time, I don't want to give him d impression that its alright to carry tales. What should i do? Pls. advise. Thanks ya!
ChiefKiasu:
Thanks for the good advice. I do practice what you mentioned for honesty, but it hasn't been working lately. Also, not sure if the SG dramas are really good as examples - there's quite a bit of sexuality and violence themes in those lately. But I thought the Sunday morning/noon productions like \"I not stupid\" and kids-related productions are very good.
I still think real life interaction with actual people who are less fortunate than himself would be a better trigger to make him become more responsible for himself. I'm not thinking of a course or a module.
Also, he has been wanting to join the boys brigade or scouts. I have resisted because I thought that is really \"going through the motion\", but that may not be fair as I'm not too familiar with what actually goes on in those organizations. It's just that I've been skeptical (from young) that organisations that make kids pay big bucks for \"dressing up\" in spanking neat uniforms actually take doing charity seriously. -
Hi, something to share with all parents out there. My gal is in Primary 1 and they have their 1st spelling and dictation test yesterday. During the test, a boy sitting next to my gal copied the answers from a piece of paper he hid under the table and scored full mark and was given a star by the teacher. My girl wanted to tell the teacher that the boy cheated but another student who saw it too stopped her.
She came home, relates the incident to me and told me she wanted to cheat too as she wanted a star instead of doing corrections for wrong answers. Of course I told her she should not cheat but to try her best instead as cheating is wrong. So she asked whether she should inform the teacher of it. Sigh…though I know this is not the right way, I told her not to and instead, just learn to close one eye. I’m worry she might be targetted by her classmates for telling tales.
However, I do wonder how could a 6 year old boy, only his 3rd week in primary school sitting for his 1st spelling has learned how to cheat, and quite expertly too. Wonder what is his family background and upbringing that taught him to cheat at such young age and wonder what his future like if cheating is acceptable for him. -
146946:
My view is that it should be reported. I feel that we have a certain duty to 'defend' the right values, and to do so sometimes we need to do the hard thing by calling out those who break the rules. This is not so much to punish the rule-breaker, but to keep the environment safe and fair for those who in fact, do play by the rules.Hi, something to share with all parents out there. My gal is in Primary 1 and they have their 1st spelling and dictation test yesterday. During the test, a boy sitting next to my gal copied the answers from a piece of paper he hid under the table and scored full mark and was given a star by the teacher. My girl wanted to tell the teacher that the boy cheated but another student who saw it too stopped her.
She came home, relates the incident to me and told me she wanted to cheat too as she wanted a star instead of doing corrections for wrong answers. Of course I told her she should not cheat but to try her best instead as cheating is wrong. So she asked whether she should inform the teacher of it. Sigh.....though I know this is not the right way, I told her not to and instead, just learn to close one eye. I'm worry she might be targetted by her classmates for telling tales.
However, I do wonder how could a 6 year old boy, only his 3rd week in primary school sitting for his 1st spelling has learned how to cheat, and quite expertly too. Wonder what is his family background and upbringing that taught him to cheat at such young age and wonder what his future like if cheating is acceptable for him.
These days, you can write e-mails in to the form teacher. In that way, you can take the heat off your DD but still demonstrate that right is right and wrong is wrong.