No Problem is problem

[Jennifer]

Donkey Kong:

I am a good father. I can sacrifice anything for my kid, including my life.

During his cutest moment, I become a Penguin Father for 2 years. I still cherish that memory.

I bring him to school, bathe him, cook for him, etc. It's fun. Every morning, he would wake me up..... very sweet. :roll:

But now he is behaving like monster. :? Sad right? May be due to wife's poisoning.

All children were cute when very young. Some turned monstrous later. For me with a short fuse, it can be worse for the parent.

Many times I ask myself if my expectations of how they should know how to take care of themselves makes me unhappy when they fall short of my std. What do I really want out of my children?

Sorry for the rant. Been feeling very unhappy lately.

[Donkey Kong]

MMM:

Donkey Kong:

:?:

Yes.... I agreed with tankee. Your wife is probably stressed out with the things around her. Kid's results, homework, future, homework,etc.... all these just bothers the mum all the time. It's the things that keep them awake. I am not saying it doesn't bother the father but mum just tend to worry more in normal circumstances.

It's a good idea to probably take a break together. I feel that due to daily pressures, it's quite difficult to \"rekindle\" in the daily environment. Many a times, the last thing I want to do in the evening is to have time for myself.

She might not be aware that she is scolding you. Probably she got no where else to vent or she is just generally frustrated.... Maybe have a good talk with her. I am sure if she loves you, she will tone down when she realise that.

Also, there is probably a difference in expectation between the man and woman? You may think you've done enough. But this is maybe different from her benchmark of what is sufficient.

I coach the kids in their studies and I've 3 kids in the room. I do need help especially when all 3 need attention. I would enlist hubby's help. But sometimes it pisses me too to see him surfing the net rather than helping. He thinks just by physically there it's good enough. I need more hands on help. So I will also get fedup with this at times.

Why women in their 40s can suddenly become another person? Me and my colleague faced same problem.

I talk to my wife trying to help her recall our sweet memories, but she said she all forgotten liow..... Dementia? :?

She can just scold me for eating... :? I mean chewing... She is very irritated with my chewing sound. Strange, I have eating in this manner for so many years, suddenly she finds this irritating.

Why like dat? Menopause? :? Ask her to see doctor, she refused. :?
She said she hates men.... :? xiao liow?

[adhdadhd]

Q: Why women in their 40s can suddenly become another person? Me and my colleague faced same problem.

Statistically 2 data point is not significant enuf to represent a population.

I talk to my wife trying to help her recall our sweet memories, but she said she all forgotten liow..... Dementia? :?
Must be sweet for you, not sweet enough for her... It seems like you love her more than she loves you.

She can just scold me for eating... :? I mean chewing... She is very irritated with my chewing sound. Strange, I have eating in this manner for so many years, suddenly she finds this irritating.
When you were younger, chewing could be cute, when the face wrinkles more, or perhaps you chew louder as you aged.

Why like dat? Menopause? :? Ask her to see doctor, she refused. :?
She said she hates men.... :? xiao liow?[/quote]
Is she FTWM? May be she has been bullied by men in work place..

[Donkey Kong]

Sometimes, I feel being 'bullied' at home. I am a 'hao hao' mister, small man.


Wife messes up the whole sink, I have to clear for her. I have to boil water, throw rubbish, wash/iron clothes. Everything I pay, from soap to detergent, bills. HDB loans she paying only a fraction. Mostly couple 50-50 right?

Wife said 'MAN must PAY everything\" Do you agree?

She does nothing but coaching kids maths. Difficult questions also push to me. :?

Hard to comprehend women. :stupid:

[buds]

Donkey Kong:

Hard to comprehend women.:stupid:

DO NOT make your judgment over ONE woman (your wife) to make
a blanket sweep statement over all \"women\". I detest that. :x

ALL we've heard from your posts are depressing issues.

You have a sad sad life.. Your nick \"donkey\" is showing through very
clearly how you are so pinned down on a daily basis... what a little
man you are.. hee hawing your life away.. just like that.. ranting abt
everything under the sun when YOU were responsible for the path that
YOU chose.. the wife you chose.. the son you had a share in making &
raising.

Discipline.. Family appreciation.. Good family values and habits all start
from a new beginning of a new relationship which has now passed by you
the last 11yrs which you now claim YOU have no recollection of?

Mebbe YOU have dementia and not your wife.

And \"kong\" is supposedly the alter ego you wish you had in real life?
Big, strong, respected... uhmmm... plainly put.. more MAN?

For once in your life, stand up for yourself and the things you believe in.
Find & correct the situations that are not going right for the last decade!
MAN UP oredi, donkey kong! More trouble shooting and solving less complaining!

[corneyAmber]

Hi Donkey Kong,

While it is good to have an outlet to release your issues here, what would likely be constructive is to get some real help to straighten the domestic issues.

While we can respond and give you our best experience to share here, we will never be you, so it might help to seek a proper channel to help you analyse the situation.

You may truly be facing detrimental issues which we cannot feel the pulse very well in an open forum like this.

[Donkey Kong]

Think women will support women.


In any marital problem, everyone will blame the man.... :love: why?

Women can be aggresive. :!: ruthless too. :?:

Scary. :shock:

[Donkey Kong]

buds:

Donkey Kong:

Hard to comprehend women.:stupid:

ALL we've heard from your posts are depressing issues.

Discipline..

Don't be angry. I just wish to see if other men in this forum face the same situation, that can give good advice. Unfortunately, I guess mostly are ladies.

Depressing or not is up to individuals. Seen so many divorced cases already. not happy with each other, just split. My male friend just separated now dancing daily but still stay in same flat for HDB's sake. He has mastered all kinds of ballroom dancing. :celebrate:

Iraq needs to be liberated.... right? :?:

[LOLMum]

Donkey Kong:

Thanks for your advice.


But things are not as simple. After so many years of shouting and yelling with kids, wife has become another \"person\". She thinks all men are beasts and doesn't like to be touched. She just wants talking.... and most topics about kids, kids, kids..... Where got romantic?

I am a homely husband.... Sometimes I go out and see old men with China ladies..... wow.... they are so fortunate. Don't have to put up with fierce women at home. Any plain China ladies, even their plain Jane, also look better than the \"mad woman\"at home.. :lol: My colleagues also called their wivies \"mad women\" :stupid: Of course, behind them la.

If I meet the right China lady, may be we will just click.... and have romance elsewhere..... :celebrate:

What do you think?

---------------------------------------------------------------
yeah, i see the bigger picture now. didnt know about this thread earlier.

you are saying :

\"dont blame me if i have a china mistress (or should it be \"already\" instead of \"if\"?). see i told you, i have no happiness at home, wife and kid no good, no more sparks in my relationship with wife. but this china mistress treats me like king, she is not mad woman always scolding me. it is my wife's fault. blame her blame her blame her\"

[Mrsbongz]

hmm.. it's easy to blame each other when a marriage goes stale.. but u have to consider each other in all things isn't it? u married each other for good or worse,.. and just as she is now an 'old woman'.. u too are an old man.. she may not be 'attractive' to u anymore in because of her nagging etc.. but u do realise she may feel the same? that there is nothing more than the children bonding the 2 of u.. it's not only your opinion and feelings that matter u know.. u can gently let her know that u miss her affections and care.. and that u will like to know how u can show her your love and concern... when was the last time u bought her a gift, for no reason other than because u thought of her? Don wait for her to show u her affection before u do anything for her.. if u feel that u are shouldering too much chores, talk to her and see if a solution can be reached.


looking elsewhere at other 'ladies' doesn't solve anything.. just thinking and not actively engaging in an affair does not make things 'right' or make u 'faithful n responsible' It just shows u are not man enough to face and solve the problem u are part of and are thinking of satisfying yourself instead.

Children are sweet and nice when young.. but it is also how we interact with them that influences their behaviour as they grow up. It doesn't mean that they r 'poisoned' by the wife.. they can see your relationship and they take their cue from your behaviour too. as a father that claims to have spent alot of time with the child when he was at his cutest, u should continue your good efforts and try to use the time spent together to mold and guide your child to good virtues and behaviour. If u have also given up on spending time with them and labeled them as monsters.. your child will not be bothered with your opinion anymore, and this will lead them to behave as they please.

There have been guys as well as ladies who have responded to your post... I think that it's a good thing.. as u get to see both the husband's as well as wife's perspective. there isn't an easy solution for u..u can't do much about how your wife or child thinks about u.. but u need to look at your own response to the issues u face, because it's the only thing u CAN do to make a difference in the situation. When they see that u are trying, they will be more open when u try to resolve the issue.

I wish u strength to face the issues you have, and may ur relationship grow stronger from your current obstacles..