In-law problems?

[Mrs Ang]

My DD 1st year birthday is coming. DH suggested to have a simple birthday celebration at home and invited his parent, his sisters, my parents and my siblings. I hate the feeling of celebrating my DD first birthday with my pil and sils. When we visited them, my fil and sils don’t bother to carry DD or play with her. I still hate my mil. I don’t think my family will enjoy their company after what mil has done.


I agreed with what other mothers have mentioned here that we as the mother have the right to make all decision concerning our children. I was very angry when my DH told me that mil said she has recovered from her "illness" so can help to take of DD but we cannot give any comments on how she take care of DD :x . Mil still dare to said these after playing me out twice!

[RRMummy]

autumnbronze:

:offtopic:


psssssssssst, share with you something RRMummy ....

My mom is neither a 'maternalistic' mom nor an ideal MIL to my SILs.

Actually, I do understand what it means to be in the line of fire because this was the kind of r/s I had with my mom ....

The funny thing is, she cannot understand why their relationship is so estranged as she keeps blaming them for the breakdown.

I only came to this realization about my mom more so after I got married and especially after I gave birth because I had basis for comparison and analysis.

But I still try my best to be a filial daughter though my patience is running short because of her lack of sensitivity towards my DS.

Poor dear.. it must be doubly tough coming from your own ma.. :snuggles: It is great that you are able to forgive her insensitivity and be at peace with her.

Actually I was reacting towards 3boys comment on MILs being the \"misunderstood species\". As said, there are unfortunately some who are down right nasty and not at all misunderstood for they make their thoughts clearly known.. but he also mentioned that he agrees... so that's good

I guess in those extreme cases, the best solution is to stay apart since water and oil just don't mix.. then visitations can be arranged and everyone can be civilized and have decent blood pressures :lol:

[duriz]

Mrs Ang:

My DD 1st year birthday is coming.

My fellow Octomum with similar problems, I totally empathize

[Mrs Ang]

duriz:

Mrs Ang:

My DD 1st year birthday is coming.

My fellow Octomum with similar problems, I totally empathize

Ya duriz, I have told my DH my concerns but DH scared that his family will find out that we didn't celebrate with them. Well....I think the only person that cares is his mother. His father and sisters never show care, love and concern on my DD.

[autumnbronze]

RRMummy:

Poor dear.. it must be doubly tough coming from your own ma.. :snuggles: It is great that you are able to forgive her insensitivity and be at peace with her.

Thanks sista, but kinda gotten and yet not gotten used to it, if you know what I mean ....

RRMummy:

Actually I was reacting towards 3boys comment on MILs being the \"misunderstood species\". As said, there are unfortunately some who are down right nasty and not at all misunderstood for they make their thoughts clearly known.. but he also mentioned that he agrees... so that's good

Yah yah *nodding head* I know, I know

RRMummy:

I guess in those extreme cases, the best solution is to stay apart since water and oil just don't mix.. then visitations can be arranged and everyone can be civilized and have decent blood pressures :lol:

Ditto point of view .... :hi5:

[RRMummy]

autumnbronze:

RRMummy:

I guess in those extreme cases, the best solution is to stay apart since water and oil just don't mix.. then visitations can be arranged and everyone can be civilized and have decent blood pressures :lol:

Ditto point of view .... :hi5:

:hi5:

[janet88]

Mrs Ang:

My DD 1st year birthday is coming. DH suggested to have a simple birthday celebration at home and invited his parent, his sisters, my parents and my siblings.


I agreed with what other mothers have mentioned here that we as the mother have the right to make all decision concerning our children.

Hey, I cannot stomach the idea of having to celebrate my kids' birthdays with hubby's family and my family around either...the feeling is super awkward.
Why don't you have 2 parties instead ? One with your parents/friends/siblings and another day with his parents. This way, I can honestly tell you that your family will enjoy better.

[cherrygal]

janet_lee88:

Hey, I cannot stomach the idea of having to celebrate my kids' birthdays with hubby's family and my family around either...the feeling is super awkward.

Why don't you have 2 parties instead ? One with your parents/friends/siblings and another day with his parents. This way, I can honestly tell you that your family will enjoy better.

I totally agree! The last time we had my kid's full month celebration, had to have both families around... it was super awkward man...

Then my BIL's wife (who also has a baby), never bring her pram to my house and expect me to lend her my infant's sarong and cot to sleep in. Hey, these are personal items lor... I don't think they should be shared so my mom the clean freak said cannot, right in her face. My MIL and SIL were shocked by my mom's terse reply. So they had to carry all the way...hahahaa

[Mrs Ang]

LKVM:

:idea: then just call her mother lah

How I wish.....

[janet88]

Forget it lah…my parents and friends will be so awkward having to face hubby’s unfriendly parents. They think it’s their son’s house and can boss over everything (when actually they have NEVER contributed to anything in my house).

I never had any birthday parties for my kids held at my own place. This way, it avoids the situation of not inviting his side.