In-law problems?
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vfong1:
I think it's not easy to stay with in law under the same roof.
Yuppa-dee-do! Its NOT easy.
Eh, thought i read your post on
your problems? You delete liao
hah? -
buds:
ya lor.... i think i just forget it.. dun think so much. what to do??vfong1:
I think it's not easy to stay with in law under the same roof.
Yuppa-dee-do! Its NOT easy.
Eh, thought i read your post on
your problems? You delete liao
hah? -
Well, okie then…
You take care…
Hang in there, okay… -
hi,
my side of the story (though hv to admit not fair for my mil…she can’t defend herself, since dunno abt this post…hehehe)
When i was preggy with my 1st bb, my mil happily volunteered to do confinement for me…but since she was working, we’ve to let her know when i wld deliver, so she can apply for leave…which we did remind her 1mth in advance…every week…she say leave no problem, already infd her company…
Then came the day i delivered…we infd her & told her that i wld be discharged on the 3rd day…she replied ok…On the day of my discharge…to my surprise…my mum appeared at our doorstep. My mil couldn’t get her leave in time, so she asked my mum to help me out for 3 days. I was mad coz she didn’t inform me or my hubby during my stay in hospital…my mum’s looking after my nieces, so my brother has to take urgent leave to look after his own children.
On the 4th day, when my mil appeared at my doorstep, the 1st thing she told me was ‘I’m only here to cook…I won’t touch the baby’…What The H#*%!..If i knew this was gg to happen, I might as well get a confinement lady in the 1st place, rite!
Bcoz my bb has jaundice, I refused to drink DOM & Yomeishu…I told her I’m breastfeeding so can’t drink. She complained to my mum that i don’t listen to her…never mind…she even complained that i kept washing my hands when she told me not to…well, hello…who’s changing the bb’s diapers? who’s bathing the bb? Of course hv to touch water mah…sigh!
Then when my mum visited me during one wkend, my mil cried in front of her & said that she doesn’t know how to cook…i was shocked when my mum asked me if i made things difficult for my mil…I ate everything she cooked…never complained…skarly she said she duno how to cook…sian!
Luckily she never volunteered again at my 2nd pregnancy…but during my bb’s full-mth celebration…she went around telling all my relatives that I dun listen to her…always wash hands…never drink DOM or Yomeishu…she don’t want to help me again bcoz i was a difficult person…
Well, thank God she’s not around to make my life miserable the 2nd time…really got to see her true colours thru’ this incident… -
hunter:
...Well, thank God she's not around to make my life miserable the 2nd time...really got to see her true colours thru' this incident...
Sigh... this is true almost of everyone... it is only when it comes to the crunch that you see the true nature of people. Do hang in there!
It's also quite strange that no daddy has complained about his MIL
Should I start the ball rolling? :evil:
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ChiefKiasu:
Should I start the ball rolling? :evil:
Pls share your juicy tales!
But I guess our complaints abt our MILs will still be nothing compared to what some of the mummies here experience... Women juz have a way of being mean to each other cos 一山不能藏二虎 *growl*
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Anyway, I felt that guys tend not to be bothered by PILs easily. For my case, my only complaints about my PILs are that they are just too nice to my kids and me. If we had stayed together, my kids would be spoiled rotten by them.
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heutistmeintag:
Anyway, I felt that guys tend not to be bothered by PILs easily.
Fully Agreed! Guys just seem to be able to overlook such incidents easily. They won't even be bothered to talk about it.
Everytime I asked DH why he doesn't stand up for himself when SIL is being nasty in comments to him (she's really one who is 口无遮拦), he just said he can't be bothered esp when she's not in the centre of his life.
But after she got married, her comments are slightly more friendly, so we are lucky that we dun kanna so much from her when she needs to 'act' in front of her new husband. She is so... not herself...Zack:
Actually it's true that usually it's only MIL and DIL have problems with each other. Sometimes, like my case, SIL also springs into action. For me, I guess it might be jealousy? That I have snatched away their only 'functioning and problem-free' male in the family? DH is obviously my MIL's favourite child, and from her comments about all her other children, I think she sees him as her only child.But I guess our complaints abt our MILs will still be nothing compared to what some of the mummies here experience... Women juz have a way of being mean to each other cos 一山不能藏二虎 *growl*
I recalled many years ago when I had my tea ceremony, all my 'sisters' were in my MIL's house with me. We had to kneel and offer tea, my MIL used her hand to lower my head down. I lowered a bit with some resistance (and with a little of shock of cos), but it wasn't enough for her. She then pushed my head even lower very forcefully, until I see her feet. (Luckily my mum forewarned me about my MIL and how she dun like this 媒婆, so I had come quite prepared that tea ceremony is not going to be easy).
All my 'sisters' were in shock when they saw it. But what to do? I still have to smile smile like nothing is wrong.
After the ceremony, at night after everyone is gone, my husband confronted his mum and asked why she do such a thing. She said it was from the advice of this 媒婆. And that 媒婆 used my MIL's hand to push my head down. So which means, my head was lowered by 2 people lar! Even more fuming angry. Wa, I curse and swear I tell you.
And she said it's their Teochew tradition like wat the 媒婆 said. I have nothing against Teochews, but bec of this incident, it was like... you can go #%^&* with your traditions.
When it was my SIL's turn to offer me tea during her tea ceremony, I was so tempted, so very tempted to ... urrggghhh... Oh, and she greeted me so sweetly (in front of her husband), aiyo... that day should go buy Toto, maybe can strike... -
hunter:
Hi hunter,hi,
my side of the story (though hv to admit not fair for my mil...she can't defend herself, since dunno abt this post...hehehe)
When i was preggy with my 1st bb, my mil happily volunteered to do confinement for me...but since she was working, we've to let her know when i wld deliver, so she can apply for leave...which we did remind her 1mth in advance...every week...she say leave no problem, already infd her company...
Then came the day i delivered...we infd her & told her that i wld be discharged on the 3rd day...she replied ok...On the day of my discharge...to my surprise...my mum appeared at our doorstep. My mil couldn't get her leave in time, so she asked my mum to help me out for 3 days. I was mad coz she didn't inform me or my hubby during my stay in hospital...my mum's looking after my nieces, so my brother has to take urgent leave to look after his own children.
On the 4th day, when my mil appeared at my doorstep, the 1st thing she told me was 'I'm only here to cook...I won't touch the baby'...What The H#*%!...If i knew this was gg to happen, I might as well get a confinement lady in the 1st place, rite!
Guess MIL usually have an episode when their DIL gets pregnant and needs to deliver their first grandson.
Had a lot of headaches too when I had to think of my own confinement and childcare issues.
My 2nd child, less headache. Everything was SOP. -
winth:
Wow what a way to start your \"first\" day into the family :x ... Isnt it rude for your MIL to have done that especially on your big day. Even though they are our elders, respect needs to be earned and that starts with them respecting others as well.
I recalled many years ago when I had my tea ceremony, all my 'sisters' were in my MIL's house with me. We had to kneel and offer tea, my MIL used her hand to lower my head down. I lowered a bit with some resistance (and with a little of shock of cos), but it wasn't enough for her. She then pushed my head even lower very forcefully, until I see her feet. (Luckily my mum forewarned me about my MIL and how she dun like this 媒婆, so I had come quite prepared that tea ceremony is not going to be easy).
All my 'sisters' were in shock when they saw it. But what to do? I still have to smile smile like nothing is wrong.
After the ceremony, at night after everyone is gone, my husband confronted his mum and asked why she do such a thing. She said it was from the advice of this 媒婆. And that 媒婆 used my MIL's hand to push my head down. So which means, my head was lowered by 2 people lar! Even more fuming angry. Wa, I curse and swear I tell you.
And she said it's their Teochew tradition like wat the 媒婆 said. I have nothing against Teochews, but bec of this incident, it was like... you can go #%^&* with your traditions.
When it was my SIL's turn to offer me tea during her tea ceremony, I was so tempted, so very tempted to ... urrggghhh... Oh, and she greeted me so sweetly (in front of her husband), aiyo... that day should go buy Toto, maybe can strike...
I do not hesitate to tell my MIL off if she is way out of line... But most times, the things that irk me does not involve me so I just dun bother.
Anyway your incident is already in the past... Should have cooled off by now right?
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