In-law problems?

[Pen88n]

Buds, good luck and keep us posted of the progress. Take care!

[duriz]

Let's go Octo-mummies


http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=13736

Me off to early lunch meeting.
Laterz

[buds]

janet_lee88:

Buds, on one hand your BIL takes his wife and kids into consideration but on the other your hubby is left with the burden. Any chance of your hubby and his brother discuss, to shell out money to get them a studio apartment for the elderly ??? Hope you and hubby can discuss this calmly and your hubby understands that you have put up with them long enough.

cherrygal:

Buds, I would advise you to insist DH and his bro share the parents, if DH must have them stay with someone... well, at least it would be a week with you and a week with them.

Yes, janet_lee88.. hubs is always left with everything to do with his parents.
He's after all the only filial and responsible one. Because of that they
became too dependent on him and somehow i do find he let them be
after a while. So they take advantage of his generosity. Hubs continues
to seemingly accept that they are what they are and pick up whatever
pieces they leave behind. I do believe he knows & boy he sure understands
awrite.. what i had to put up with... go through... endure for long enough...
Just that he doesn't show it.

But, naaah.. shell out $ no more i say... cos i think it's abt enuf oredi.
We've missed out on a lot oredi, financial wise (esp hubs being the sole
breadwinner)... emotionally (let's not even go there :roll:) and definitely
the physical aspect is felt.

Yeah cherrygal, that was the same advice i gave to hubs. With the only
exception that i didn't offer that we have to be part of the plan. I was
only advising for his bro to take over. They are after all his parents 2.
And furthermore, he is the favourite son who hardly visits so he can do
no wrong. Well, since they never stayed together... he can't do any wrong
...... yet. :evil:

cherrygal:

And the ILs will be able to see how \"bad\" the other daughter-in-law is... and not think you are the only one who has issues with them.

Oh, she knows awrite. That's why she's been drama-ing that she cannot
imagine living with SIL... ever. Said SIL was all rules and all fussy and
all this and that. I just played deaf ear nia. She's such a hypocrite. It
irks me. She had the gall to tell me to my face that she'd rather stay
with us (meaning with my girls, hubs and i). Can you believe that..
tsk.. tsk.. tsk.. It is not just SIL who has issues with her, even BIL
has issues with her and FIL... BIL does not take kindly to when his
parents try to interfere in their marital affairs and child-raising issues.
He also doesn't like his wife to be upset over his parents. He's very very
protective of his family. So, he'd rather push the responsibility to the
obvious responsible one.

[buds]

hquek:

True, it's not easy, but beats paying for another hdb flat which dunno who will get to inherit (eg if bud's hubs pay for it, the ILs may happily will it to another one). A bit pengz right? Studio apartment is only 30 year lease....imagine 30 years of independence and I think probably happiness on bud's side....I think worth the effort to look see lah. But I honestly dunno what the asking price is.

Nope. Financially... no purchase of any kind works in this case.
Enough of shelling out our moolah. We DO have #3 on the way.
Yes, very pengz.. hquek, you oredi know them as much as i do..

[janet88]

Hi buds,

I do sympathise your situation and hope that you have a place of your own…it will be difficult because your hubby is the filial one and with his mother being the drama queen, it’s even harder. But I still wish you all the best. Those of us who have MILs who love to drama will understand what it is like.

[buds]

duriz:

Sorry for being lor sor. But I want to tell abit of MIL's side of the story, just to be fair. During her \"NS\" days, she stayed with 1 FIL, TWO MILs, TWO SILs and her own 2 boys. I'd think things were not easy for her either.

Mine too. MIL had a tough time with her ILs. Two MILs. Many SILs.
And her own 3 boys. It was not easy for her from what i've
heard and she cared for them till they passed on. She was
not fairly treated & needless to say, the talk of everyone.
She never earned their respect even towards the end.

Naive of me to think that she'd be more understanding towards me
and have more love for me and treat me like her own daughter juz
like how i did treat her like my own mom since i married hubs, but
it somehow seems she was bent on making my life story worse
than how she lived hers. That is why today, i can only say...
i give up on her. I surrender. Her game i cannot play. So go
play with someone else. Try SIL... :evil: See if she can even
go very far.

[buds]

Funz:

Actually it wasn't so much the name that was shortlisted, it was that DH went to ILs first instead of me. That was the sore point.


Sometimes the issues with ILs is not the problems with the ILs themselves but how our other half handle the whole situation.

I agree with you Funz. That's definitely a huge sore point.
And yes, it's also how the other half handles the situations. :roll:

[buds]

RRMummy:

Yalor.. my poor sissy.. and to think that is something that will stick for the rest of her life and bears a constant reminder that she has no say..


women take in all this nastiness it in the name of love and peace for the family but really the suffering is only worth it if the hubs appreciates it.. in her case..not..

Thankfully my Darling Dad is a very reasonable and wise man. :love: He told my bro to forgo the traditional middle name coz really obiang and difficult to come up with a nice name.. :love:

The one in bold...

You couldn't have said it better. :hugs:

[janet88]

The one thing I don’t like is her double-head-snake personality - in front of me complain about other SIL and her insincerity. The way she cries for attention is scary. Anyway, I don’t plan to play her game. It would be BEST if she goes to America to look after her daughter and grandchildren for good, but DON’T sell the flat here.

When she goes to Malaysia to visit her twin sister, she looks down on her nieces and nephews bcos they are not educated. She better go to US and stay there lah…suck up to her angmoh son-in-law.

[buds]

RRMummy:

Share with you something that makes our blood boil...My sis has a very MCP husband and horrible MIL.

Speaking of MCP... OT a bit. :offtopic:

Chanced upon a supermarket in Yishun.
The sign read : MCP SUPERMARKET.

I made the error of speaking my thoughts aloud.
I said, \"Eh dear... how come you have your supermarket here?\"
I got a rib-shove after that loud thought awrite! :rotflmao: