In-law problems?
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3Boys, maybe you forgot one difference between men and women? Women just want to pour all their miseries out and have a listening ear. We feel much better this way. Weβre not really seeking solutions here unless we actually ask for them and mean it. However, guys like to analyse and solve things so maybe our gripes here "irk" you cos you see solutions and wonder why we donβt implement them. (We do but in our own way. And while we do that, we still like to gripe.)
As usual, no offence is intended. -
schellen:
3Boys, maybe you forgot one difference between men and women? Women just want to pour all their miseries out and have a listening ear. We feel much better this way. We're not really seeking solutions here unless we actually ask for them and mean it. However, guys like to analyse and solve things so maybe our gripes here \"irk\" you cos you see solutions and wonder why we don't implement them. (We do but in our own way. And while we do that, we still like to gripe.)
As usual, no offence is intended.
Spot on! That , i agree!
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schellen:
3Boys, maybe you forgot one difference between men and women?
I always forget and always need reminding...... cease and desist, I shall.
schellen:
None taken.As usual, no offence is intended.
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Wow thanks schellen! You've described all these perfectly.
It de-stresses me when I let those grudges out. I get terrible headaches everytime I see these things happening to me and my kids and yet, the feeling of helplessness sink in almost instantly.
It's unlike when you're facing some rude parents and I can be real rude and fight back. It's unlike some crowded places that we can choose not to go and avoid at all costs. I can't choose not to do the things that I dread.
But I also know that to keep my marriage at status quo is to overlook all these things which DH has described to me that they are all unimportant events and he feels sad for them that they are still so caught up with misery.
Yap, DH knows what's going on between me and his family side. So, there's nothing I need to hide. Just that he doesn't like me to make it public.3Boys:
well, for a while back there, I really thought you were. hehe... I just wanted to let you know that yes, some MILs are really great (I do know quite a number of them through my friends and relatives). And well, let's just say that some very few MILs really aren't that 'enlightened' yet, and I happen to have one that gives me a really bad time - I call them my memorable moments.winth,
I'm not sure why you think I am picking on you. Perhaps it has been a sore point and I am pressing the wrong buttons.
I was pissed yesterday, but I am not now. Serious. At least now I know you are not picking on me. But I do hope that you could make more generalised statements bec those comments were considered 'high-risk' and they tend to upset certain post-ers. θ―΄θ ζ εΏοΌε¬θ ζζγ -
3Boys:
Come on guys, any of you got IL problems, or is it mainly a gal thing?.
Hmmm.... This statement really got my attention..
Come to think of it, most of the comments are from the DWs..
I don't think the relationship that I have with my PILs are perfect but somehow, I dont see a point complaining about it. Just learn to get over it and forget about it lor...
What the use of complaining. There is no gain..
P/S: Bros... Beware the Wrath of DWs -
IMHO, Could it be the view that when daughters marry, girls parents will think that this is 'poured out' water - therefore parents don't complain or generate problems for their sons in law. But when it comes to sons, seems like these girls are new additions to the family - so can \"hiam\"? Although some of the postings were really eye popping.
From friends and my own experience, I have learnt that DDs can shout at their mothers; but DILs must never even raise their voice.
My mantra is \"Silence is golden\". Now just got to put it to practice.
Winth, just read your earlier postings. Wow! I would become tigress in those instances also. -
buds hubs:
...P/S: Bros... Beware the Wrath of DWs
Great advice. I put it to good use myself. That's why I refrain from posting in this thread
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ChiefKiasu:
I not getting hantam by my DW but by other people's DWs......buds hubs:
...P/S: Bros... Beware the Wrath of DWs
Great advice. I put it to good use myself. That's why I refrain from posting in this thread -
RRMummy:
yaps.. in fact, it got me even more frustrated and upset with my in laws. sigh...
:roll: Same here.. after 2 years of pestering, MIL went directly to my parents too..Chey, like that would have any use meh...
then they got relatives to pressure me.. no more friendly : \"so when are you going to have another?\" to the very straight, in your face : \"its time to have another one. you are not young anymore.\"
so easy for them to say...
i have enough. actually... i mean, i know the \"burden\" of tending to the child will rest on me.
i so want to tell them to mind their own business but being younger, i have to give them respect and also give my in laws respect so i kept cool and quiet.
my resources are limited.. with my first one, its me who pays for her school fees, enrichment classes. me who is paying for her insurance... (long story) the waking up at night for numerous feeds cuz my mil said her precious son needs to work so no way he can or must be woken up to feed the child. its me who coaches my 4 yr old to read, write, do homework, pack her bag for sch the next day... its all me!!!!
if i am back late due to work, nothing is done and my girl will go to sch the next day , her homework not done and all. sigh... -
hquek:
But when it comes to sons, seems like these girls are new additions to the family - so can \"hiam\"?
There was this man who brought 3 girls home to meet his mum over dinner.
After they had left, the man asked his mum to guess which of the three is his girlfriend. The mum guessed correctly and the man was amused. When he asked her is it because of affinity, her replies was;
\"I know it's her because I don't like her at first sight.\"
Generally (not all), in MIL's eyes, DILs had 'taken' their position in the sons' heart as the No. 1 lady, that's where the conflict starts.
One mountain cannot house 2 tigress.
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