In-law problems?
-
auntieM:
MIL calls DH Dear Dear. There was once a I came across an SMS when I borrowed DH's phone and for a moment I thought he was having an affair. Msg went something like Dear Dear, you know I love you very much. I pray everyday that all is well with you. ....... Both you and your sister are my life. Love Mum. The first few sentence gave me a shock. Haha.I can hardly remain sane after 10 minutes of my MIL's \"Hello darling.. \"....
How to tahan talking.. ...
P/S: Hello darling- applicable to everyone :stupid:
MIL also has a habit of caressing DH's head or shoulder and even a times kissing him on his cheeks like you would a little kid. I teased DH to no end about it. He gets frustrated with all this fawning but he says he cannot tell her off cos if he does, there will be waterworks for days and accusations and all. Told him to let it be lah. She cannot help herself.
When we were first married, I kept thinking that my PILs are intrusive, imposing, self centred and irritating. But over the years, I have come to realise that a lot of the problems with my PILs stem from how DH handles them. -
We can't really control how other people behave, we can only decide how we want to treat others. We should treat them the same way we expect to be treated - with respect, courtesy, etc. If they do not reciprocate, or intentionally make things difficult, then stay away from them to avoid conflicts.
In the case of PILs, hopefully they will realize that if they continue to be difficult, after a while their children/grandchildren will start staying away from them because nobody dares to go near them.
And one more thing, make sure that some day when you become a FIL/MIL yourself, don't behave that way. Be nice to your SIL/DIL!
-
Funz:
MIL calls DH Dear Dear. There was once a I came across an SMS when I borrowed DH's phone and for a moment I thought he was having an affair. Msg went something like Dear Dear, you know I love you very much. I pray everyday that all is well with you. ....... Both you and your sister are my life. Love Mum. The first few sentence gave me a shock. Haha.
Oh my, even my DW doesn't send me messages like that. Hahaha... -
Funz:
MIL calls DH Dear Dear. There was once a I came across an SMS when I borrowed DH's phone and for a moment I thought he was having an affair. Msg went something like Dear Dear, you know I love you very much. I pray everyday that all is well with you. ....... Both you and your sister are my life. Love Mum. The first few sentence gave me a shock. Haha.
Wuaaah seh.. :faint:
It'd give anyone a sudden breathless moment, Funz! :rotflmao:
From my experience, be prepared and i mean be veeeerrry prepared
if you're going ahead to marry a man whose mom calls him \"boy\"... :roll:
My MIL does.
And i get a kick out of teasing hubs that each time i hear
her address him like that or lagi best... when he replies her and addresses
her in similar fashion. :laugh:
I'd happily go, \"You're a mommy's boy... You're a mommy's boy...\" :politebleah:
:rotflmao:Funz:
Same leh! :hi5:MIL also has a habit of caressing DH's head or shoulder and even a times kissing him on his cheeks like you would a little kid. I teased DH to no end about it. He gets frustrated with all this fawning but he says he cannot tell her off cos if he does, there will be waterworks for days and accusations and all. Told him to let it be lah. She cannot help herself.
Tease at no end hawrite! :laugh:
:rotflmao: I soooo get watcha mean, girl! :rotflmao:
But eh.. mine more drama.. she does all that stroking and kissing but
with the waterworks! Sometimes glistening and most other times
rolling down cheeks liao and with cracking voice... with a \"take
care of yourself\" sarcasm tone :roll: as if i simply cannot take
care of him/her son.. cannot take it sia.Funz:
I agree wholeheartedly with the words in bold.When we were first married, I kept thinking that my PILs are intrusive, imposing, self centred and irritating. But over the years, I have come to realise that a lot of the problems with my PILs stem from how DH handles them.
Hubs gives MIL too much reign over his life and i seriously mean
everything in his life, that he does not know how to not let her
run ours.. which is irritating. MIL oredi had her share with her
own monster-out-law when she first got married refuse to
know where she stands and never ever draws the line
when it came to intruding into our lives, privacy and
heck... even intimacy. It's beyond annoying.. she
must have a say in everything and she insists
that she is forever right.
I thank God every single day, that i made this very difficult way
to be separated from them for good... to stay in different homes.
After all, to be fair i oredi served 10 years dutifully and i hell mean
dutifully. Wanna see a live make of a dutiful Korean wife you see on
TV... hey... you're lookin' at one. Me lor.. Ani ha sa yeo.. :lol: Just so tt
i won't be that boulder that comes btwn him, MIL and me.... i endured
10 wasted years of slander.. mistreatment.. verbal & emotional abuse.
If hubs had stood up for me just once, our marriage wouldn't have
suffered because of them. Like i said before, this chance i'm giving
him is the final chance that will come by... after this if he does not
still realize how much this marriage means then it's really bye bye.
Enough is enough. This Korean lass ain't bowing no more. This door
mat isn't the one that has the word \"welcome\" on it anymore.. In
fact, no more door mat oso. So does it mean automatically not
welcome? :lol: Naaah... i ain't that mean. :please:
Welcome to visit but never to stay. Sorry.
Once bitten twice shy... errr... no.. :idea:
Make that 10 years bitten, forever shy.:dowan:LKVM:
Yeah man... make my day.. :lol:The above thing was very funny Funz
Some more so same as me..
Talk about coincidence uh? :lol: -
Yong HL:
I think as far as possible you have to build up the bond with your kid....
i am working my way to slowly wean her off from going IL place stay overnite. Hopefully will succeed by the time she reaches P2... wish me luck!janet_lee88:
Fortunately your hubby is on your side and supports your decision.
Can be quite a headache having to finish up homework and dinner at home b4 going over. Sorry for saying this, but it will be tougher as she goes up...more homework then.
many of my friends whose parents only 'took them back' at P1 still have resentment till this day...
So whilst it's nice that she's close the grandma who loves her a lot, it's impt to build up the parent-child rlp before it's too late. cos there are a lot of areas where you'll have to guide her, esp before the teenage years... -
janet_lee88:
Of course the sticky situations can be avoided if either side can handle their own parents. My hubby isn't able to handle his mother...bcos he doesn't see the 2 sides of her. So he will never understand when I tell him. I can tell my mum she is long-winded but he dare not tell his.[/quote]My mil will just break down into tears if my DH is to raise his voice. My sil too just break into tears when talking to me....as if I bully herMrs Ang:
[quote=\"DingDongBell\"]Also, each spouse should handle their own parents. i.e. I handle my parents, my wife handle hers.
This is the best if both parties know how to handle their own parents. My DH didn't handle his mother well which lead to the current condition.
After the incident, we never talk to each other.
-
buds, your pil final home destination is not settled yet?
-
I think, maybe about a hundred or two pages back, I did write somewhere that in the 1st year of our marriage, MIL still buys underwear, handkerchieves and socks for DH. And she will call him in the morning to remind him to brush his teeth.
After so many years, I tend laugh rather then get irritated by all these little idiosyncrasis of my ILs. Well it makes it all the sweeter when I get to chochok DH with all these. :laugh:
Come to think of it, I never notice his mum actually having any form of endearment for his Dad, it is usually 'Oi'. After seeing that Dear Dear msg, I asked DH if your mum calls you that, how does she address your Dad during, you know, their tender moments? DH looked at me like I have grown 2 heads and told me nope, not going to go there. Don't want to know. :lol: -
Hi,
Just want to share my bit abt my mil. My mil stays together with us. Whenever we have conflicts, she never fails to remind me that her son can change his wife but she will always be his ONE & ONLY MOTHER. -
auntieM:
OMG, my hair is standing. :!:I can hardly remain sane after 10 minutes of my MIL's \"Hello darling.. \"....
How to tahan talking.. ...
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better š
Register Login