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    In-law problems?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Relationships
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    • D Offline
      DingDongBell
      last edited by

      Funz:
      MIL calls DH Dear Dear. There was once a I came across an SMS when I borrowed DH's phone and for a moment I thought he was having an affair. Msg went something like Dear Dear, you know I love you very much. I pray everyday that all is well with you. ....... Both you and your sister are my life. Love Mum. The first few sentence gave me a shock. Haha.

      Oh my, even my DW doesn't send me messages like that. Hahaha...

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • B Offline
        buds
        last edited by

        Funz:
        MIL calls DH Dear Dear. There was once a I came across an SMS when I borrowed DH's phone and for a moment I thought he was having an affair. Msg went something like Dear Dear, you know I love you very much. I pray everyday that all is well with you. ....... Both you and your sister are my life. Love Mum. The first few sentence gave me a shock. Haha.

        Wuaaah seh.. :faint:

        It'd give anyone a sudden breathless moment, Funz! :rotflmao:

        From my experience, be prepared and i mean be veeeerrry prepared
        if you're going ahead to marry a man whose mom calls him \"boy\"... :roll:
        My MIL does. 😐 And i get a kick out of teasing hubs that each time i hear
        her address him like that or lagi best... when he replies her and addresses
        her in similar fashion. :laugh:

        I'd happily go, \"You're a mommy's boy... You're a mommy's boy...\" :politebleah:

        :rotflmao:
        Funz:
        MIL also has a habit of caressing DH's head or shoulder and even a times kissing him on his cheeks like you would a little kid. I teased DH to no end about it. He gets frustrated with all this fawning but he says he cannot tell her off cos if he does, there will be waterworks for days and accusations and all. Told him to let it be lah. She cannot help herself.
        Same leh! :hi5:

        Tease at no end hawrite! :laugh:

        :rotflmao: I soooo get watcha mean, girl! :rotflmao:

        But eh.. mine more drama.. she does all that stroking and kissing but
        with the waterworks! Sometimes glistening and most other times
        rolling down cheeks liao and with cracking voice... with a \"take
        care of yourself\" sarcasm tone :roll: as if i simply cannot take
        care of him/her son.. cannot take it sia.
        Funz:
        When we were first married, I kept thinking that my PILs are intrusive, imposing, self centred and irritating. But over the years, I have come to realise that a lot of the problems with my PILs stem from how DH handles them.
        I agree wholeheartedly with the words in bold.

        Hubs gives MIL too much reign over his life and i seriously mean
        everything in his life, that he does not know how to not let her
        run ours.. which is irritating. MIL oredi had her share with her
        own monster-out-law when she first got married refuse to
        know where she stands and never ever draws the line
        when it came to intruding into our lives, privacy and
        heck... even intimacy. It's beyond annoying.. she
        must have a say in everything and she insists
        that she is forever right.

        I thank God every single day, that i made this very difficult way
        to be separated from them for good... to stay in different homes.
        After all, to be fair i oredi served 10 years dutifully and i hell mean
        dutifully. Wanna see a live make of a dutiful Korean wife you see on
        TV... hey... you're lookin' at one. Me lor.. Ani ha sa yeo.. :lol: Just so tt
        i won't be that boulder that comes btwn him, MIL and me.... i endured
        10 wasted years of slander.. mistreatment.. verbal & emotional abuse.
        If hubs had stood up for me just once, our marriage wouldn't have
        suffered because of them. Like i said before, this chance i'm giving
        him is the final chance that will come by... after this if he does not
        still realize how much this marriage means then it's really bye bye.

        Enough is enough. This Korean lass ain't bowing no more. This door
        mat isn't the one that has the word \"welcome\" on it anymore.. In
        fact, no more door mat oso. So does it mean automatically not
        welcome? :lol: Naaah... i ain't that mean. :please:

        Welcome to visit but never to stay. Sorry.
        Once bitten twice shy... errr... no.. :idea:
        Make that 10 years bitten, forever shy.:dowan:
        LKVM:
        The above thing was very funny Funz šŸ˜‰
        Yeah man... make my day.. :lol:

        Some more so same as me.. šŸ˜‰

        Talk about coincidence uh? :lol:

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • T Offline
          toddles
          last edited by

          Yong HL:
          janet_lee88:

          Fortunately your hubby is on your side and supports your decision.

          Can be quite a headache having to finish up homework and dinner at home b4 going over. Sorry for saying this, but it will be tougher as she goes up...more homework then.

          i am working my way to slowly wean her off from going IL place stay overnite. Hopefully will succeed by the time she reaches P2... wish me luck! šŸ™

          I think as far as possible you have to build up the bond with your kid....

          many of my friends whose parents only 'took them back' at P1 still have resentment till this day...

          So whilst it's nice that she's close the grandma who loves her a lot, it's impt to build up the parent-child rlp before it's too late. cos there are a lot of areas where you'll have to guide her, esp before the teenage years...

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • M Offline
            Mrs Ang
            last edited by

            janet_lee88:
            Mrs Ang:

            [quote=\"DingDongBell\"]Also, each spouse should handle their own parents. i.e. I handle my parents, my wife handle hers.


            This is the best if both parties know how to handle their own parents. My DH didn't handle his mother well which lead to the current condition. šŸ˜ž

            Of course the sticky situations can be avoided if either side can handle their own parents. My hubby isn't able to handle his mother...bcos he doesn't see the 2 sides of her. So he will never understand when I tell him. I can tell my mum she is long-winded but he dare not tell his.[/quote]My mil will just break down into tears if my DH is to raise his voice. My sil too just break into tears when talking to me....as if I bully her šŸ˜› After the incident, we never talk to each other.

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • M Offline
              Mrs Ang
              last edited by

              buds, your pil final home destination is not settled yet?

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • FunzF Offline
                Funz
                last edited by

                I think, maybe about a hundred or two pages back, I did write somewhere that in the 1st year of our marriage, MIL still buys underwear, handkerchieves and socks for DH. And she will call him in the morning to remind him to brush his teeth.


                After so many years, I tend laugh rather then get irritated by all these little idiosyncrasis of my ILs. Well it makes it all the sweeter when I get to chochok DH with all these. :laugh:

                Come to think of it, I never notice his mum actually having any form of endearment for his Dad, it is usually 'Oi'. After seeing that Dear Dear msg, I asked DH if your mum calls you that, how does she address your Dad during, you know, their tender moments? DH looked at me like I have grown 2 heads and told me nope, not going to go there. Don't want to know. :lol:

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • K Offline
                  Kippletoon
                  last edited by

                  Hi,


                  Just want to share my bit abt my mil. My mil stays together with us. Whenever we have conflicts, she never fails to remind me that her son can change his wife but she will always be his ONE & ONLY MOTHER.

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • J Offline
                    janet88
                    last edited by

                    auntieM:
                    I can hardly remain sane after 10 minutes of my MIL's \"Hello darling.. \"....

                    How to tahan talking.. ...
                    OMG, my hair is standing. :!:

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • A Offline
                      auntieM
                      last edited by

                      janet_lee88:
                      auntieM:

                      I can hardly remain sane after 10 minutes of my MIL's \"Hello darling.. \"....

                      How to tahan talking.. ...

                      OMG, my hair is standing. :!:

                      He..hee ..me in naughty mood..
                      Then again I think I use salah word.. should rephrase 'talking' to 'drama-ing' šŸ˜‰

                      Today's posts on ILs really :rotflmao:

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • J Offline
                        janet88
                        last edited by

                        toddles:
                        Yong HL:

                        [quote=\"janet_lee88\"]Fortunately your hubby is on your side and supports your decision.

                        Can be quite a headache having to finish up homework and dinner at home b4 going over. Sorry for saying this, but it will be tougher as she goes up...more homework then.

                        i am working my way to slowly wean her off from going IL place stay overnite. Hopefully will succeed by the time she reaches P2... wish me luck! šŸ™

                        I think as far as possible you have to build up the bond with your kid....
                        many of my friends whose parents only 'took them back' at P1 still have resentment till this day...[/quote]I couldn't agree more with this.
                        My maternal grandparents looked after my brother when he was a bb till about 3 as my mum couldn't handle 2 kids then. Every weekend, my brother would come back and my father couldn't take the noise with 2 of us around. Even now, there isn't much bonding nor closeness with him. It's very sad.

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