In-law problems?
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janet_lee88:
Mine here loves to pass remarks on everything. Which is why I don't invite them over...what for? To hear more crap?
Haha....mine will come uninvited and uninformed. My DH finally tell his mum to call before coming and she is unhappy and commented why we so troublesome!! :x -
janet_lee88:
So sad that the boy is an orphan so young.[/quote]Sad...the boy is so young and nobody wants him.
Thanks buds.. :hugs:auntieM:
[quote=\"buds\"]auntieM... my condolences.
You may not have been close to them..
But at least now one less drama has ended for you.. :snuggles:
You are so right about the lesser drama.. ..
Pity my nephew though.. lose both parents to cancer, both sides grandparents well and fit but nobody wants him..
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Mrs Ang:
My PILs will inform us. 10 mins b4 ringing our doorbell.janet_lee88:
Mine here loves to pass remarks on everything. Which is why I don't invite them over...what for? To hear more crap?
Haha....mine will come uninvited and uninformed. My DH finally tell his mum to call before coming and she is unhappy and commented why we so troublesome!! :x
They have the habit of calling us and telling us that they are on the way over, reaching in 10mins time. And if we are out of the house they will be unhappy, grumble say waste their time.
Or they will call a day b4 and say will be coming over, but never say what time. And when we ask what time, they say dunno lah see how. That used to drive me nuts. I mean, we need to know right, so we can plan our day also, or whether you having any meals here. Sometimes when we push for an answer they will say ok coming over for lunch. So I will prepare lunch, but wait and wait until the kids cannot tahan, no choice they eat first, then ILs will come at like 2pm and say oh we ate a little oredi so not hungry :stupid:
Nowadays, when they call and say they are coming over, we tell them what time we will be out of the house. Come b4 that or too bad. And we don't bother much about whether they gonna have their meals here. If have enuf ok, dun hv enuf cook instant noodles for them. -
Ok in most things concerning my ILs I adopt a 习惯就好 attitude. But this I cannot CANNOT accept.
DH just called me. He had to rush down to the Raffles hospital earlier cos FIL called telling him MIL's check up came up to $5000+ and they don't have enough money on them. The previous night, MIL called DH and told him she needs to go for checkup and she needs money so DH transferred $1000 to her account. When DH got to the hospital, the bill was $500+ and he settled it for MIL. Well MIL said she will transfer the money back to DH but seriously from past experience, we all know they will conveniently forget about it.
:x :x :x
I am not begrudging DH paying their medical for them. What I cannot tahan is their lack of consideration for DH and pulling such a stunt. He is working and he had to drop everything to go settle a $500 bill which both of them clearly have the money since DH already transferred $1000 to MIL.
DH is really pissed as well. And he is also feeling :stupid: . Cos when he saw that the bill was $500+ he pointed out to them and they said they still did not bring enuf cash on them. That is why DH still ended up paying for them. When I asked him why didn't his parents pay thru NETS using their own ATM card. He was stumped. Then he said yah, did not occur to him cos he was rushing to get to his next appt. -
Funz:
My PILs will inform us. 10 mins b4 ringing our doorbell.Mrs Ang:
[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]Mine here loves to pass remarks on everything. Which is why I don't invite them over...what for? To hear more crap?
Haha....mine will come uninvited and uninformed. My DH finally tell his mum to call before coming and she is unhappy and commented why we so troublesome!! :x
They have the habit of calling us and telling us that they are on the way over, reaching in 10mins time. And if we are out of the house they will be unhappy, grumble say waste their time.
Or they will call a day b4 and say will be coming over, but never say what time. And when we ask what time, they say dunno lah see how. That used to drive me nuts. I mean, we need to know right, so we can plan our day also, or whether you having any meals here. Sometimes when we push for an answer they will say ok coming over for lunch. So I will prepare lunch, but wait and wait until the kids cannot tahan, no choice they eat first, then ILs will come at like 2pm and say oh we ate a little oredi so not hungry :stupid:
Nowadays, when they call and say they are coming over, we tell them what time we will be out of the house. Come b4 that or too bad. And we don't bother much about whether they gonna have their meals here. If have enuf ok, dun hv enuf cook instant noodles for them.[/quote]We gave my FIL the house keys because he used to come several mornings a week to help us watch my boys. We thought it would be more convenient for him to have a set of keys.
Early on Saturday morning, my MIL wanted him to deliver some food to us. He didn't want to disturb us, so he just let himself in, thinking that we would be asleep. Of course, we weren't expecting him, and when he opened the door, there I was sitting on the sofa reading the papers wearing my sleepwear - a pair of tiny shorts and an itsy-bitsy tank-top. I jumped up faster than you could say hello, and dashed to the room to change into something more decent. At least I had some clothes on...
He didn't mean any harm, but we told them later to please ring the bell before entering! And now, we've also taken the keys back ... -
Funz:
Maybe they are attention seekers, some elderly just love to have their kids ferry them to see docs...or even collect medical report.Ok in most things concerning my ILs I adopt a 习惯就好 attitude. But this I cannot CANNOT accept.
DH just called me. He had to rush down to the Raffles hospital earlier cos FIL called telling him MIL's check up came up to $5000+ and they don't have enough money on them. The previous night, MIL called DH and told him she needs to go for checkup and she needs money so DH transferred $1000 to her account. When DH got to the hospital, the bill was $500+ and he settled it for MIL. Well MIL said she will transfer the money back to DH but seriously from past experience, we all know they will conveniently forget about it.
:x :x :x
I am not begrudging DH paying their medical for them. What I cannot tahan is their lack of consideration for DH and pulling such a stunt. He is working and he had to drop everything to go settle a $500 bill which both of them clearly have the money since DH already transferred $1000 to MIL.
DH is really pissed as well. And he is also feeling :stupid: . Cos when he saw that the bill was $500+ he pointed out to them and they said they still did not bring enuf cash on them. That is why DH still ended up paying for them. When I asked him why didn't his parents pay thru NETS using their own ATM card. He was stumped. Then he said yah, did not occur to him cos he was rushing to get to his next appt. -
Mrs Ang:
Wow, your hubby can do that. I doubt my hubby will have the guts to say that...knowing his mother's overbearing character. I'm so relieved and happy they are FAR FAR away. Hope they stay there for the next 6 months.janet_lee88:
Mine here loves to pass remarks on everything. Which is why I don't invite them over...what for? To hear more crap?
Haha....mine will come uninvited and uninformed. My DH finally tell his mum to call before coming and she is unhappy and commented why we so troublesome!! :x -
bebe:
Since it's his parents, no harm letting him be angry. But I do agree that these elderly parents now love the idea of comparing...some will tell others their sons bring them to see doctor, eat this and that, bring them holidays and hire maid for them...basically it's attention seeking.
Maybe they are attention seekers, some elderly just love to have their kids ferry them to see docs...or even collect medical report.Funz:
Ok in most things concerning my ILs I adopt a 习惯就好 attitude. But this I cannot CANNOT accept.
I am not begrudging DH paying their medical for them. What I cannot tahan is their lack of consideration for DH and pulling such a stunt. He is working and he had to drop everything to go settle a $500 bill which both of them clearly have the money since DH already transferred $1000 to MIL. -
janet_lee88:
Since it's his parents, no harm letting him be angry. But I do agree that these elderly parents now love the idea of comparing...some will tell others their sons bring them to see doctor, eat this and that, bring them holidays and hire maid for them...basically it's attention seeking.[/quote]I dunno if this helps... For me, things got better when I started to treat them like teenagers with a mixture of benevolence and firmness on my terms.
Maybe they are attention seekers, some elderly just love to have their kids ferry them to see docs...or even collect medical report.bebe:
[quote=\"Funz\"]Ok in most things concerning my ILs I adopt a 习惯就好 attitude. But this I cannot CANNOT accept.
I am not begrudging DH paying their medical for them. What I cannot tahan is their lack of consideration for DH and pulling such a stunt. He is working and he had to drop everything to go settle a $500 bill which both of them clearly have the money since DH already transferred $1000 to MIL.
We grow up feeling that we have to do what the parents ask, as if they're still heading the family. At one point, I realized that I am the head of the family now and it is for me to give them direction (gently but firmly). Once they realise this, they stop acting up. -
Chenonceau:
I dunno if this helps... For me, things got better when I started to treat them like teenagers with a mixture of benevolence and firmness on my terms.
Since it's his parents, no harm letting him be angry. But I do agree that these elderly parents now love the idea of comparing...some will tell others their sons bring them to see doctor, eat this and that, bring them holidays and hire maid for them...basically it's attention seeking.janet_lee88:
[quote=\"bebe\"]
Maybe they are attention seekers, some elderly just love to have their kids ferry them to see docs...or even collect medical report.
We grow up feeling that we have to do what the parents ask, as if they're still heading the family. At one point, I realized that I am the head of the family now and it is for me to give them direction (gently but firmly). Once they realise this, they stop acting up.[/quote]Aiyah, if only I can treat them as teenagers...problem is they still want to behave like HEAD of the household. If I can be firm with them, the old lady will start seeking sympathy from her children.
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