In-law problems?
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janet_lee88:
Yeah...as if there is only 1 who drives. The other 2 doesn't bother. Even if hubby is the one who does it, I see no reason why there is a need to drive from West to East just to collect mail...most of the mail is for the sickening lazy brother who diverts his mail there bcos he doesn't want wife to know. :x
If I were u, I would have insisted he put the bro's letter back into the letter box and SMS him to collect them himself...or you'll inform his wife abt these letter!!! *LOL* -
Nebbermind:
What can I do ? My idiotic hubby is always bullied to do all these shit. As for his wife, it's going to be another LONG story if I start.janet_lee88:
Yeah...as if there is only 1 who drives. The other 2 doesn't bother. Even if hubby is the one who does it, I see no reason why there is a need to drive from West to East just to collect mail...most of the mail is for the sickening lazy brother who diverts his mail there bcos he doesn't want wife to know. :x
If I were u, I would have insisted he put the bro's letter back into the letter box and SMS him to collect them himself...or you'll inform his wife abt these letter!!! *LOL* -
janet_lee88:
My filial hubby used to be the one trying to do everything.....but ever since PIL shifted in, he feels the burden. Also, with me
What can I do ? My idiotic hubby is always bullied to do all these shit. As for his wife, it's going to be another LONG story if I start.
crying foul and feeling imbalance.... HEY all the DIL dun have to lift a single finger, so dun come and give me that I'm the eldest DIL shit :P, enough is enough. IF the rest can PROTECT the wife, why can't you??? Guess also cos' the MIL is damn biased.....and pushes a lot to him while a particular one gets scott free for everything, it kinda wakes him up to start delegating. Look at it this way, if MIL is so biased, why dun she goes over to stay with them rather than stay here and 'xian' this and that.
If none of the letters are for you, then should just ignore and tell the BRO to collect himself. Hmmm....think you must be fretting over them coming back now. -
Quoting examples...do it sound familiar??
Mil : Wen (my daughter), have you taken your breakfast?
Wen : Yes, mummy gave me coco krunch and milk
MIl : Aiyo, always take this kind of heaty stuff for Breakfast, wait kena soar throat or fever then u know
Wen : keep quiet
MIL : Wen, Ah Ma bought fried carrot cake and Yu tiao, come and have some...
So fried carrot cake and Yu tiao are not heaty?
Out for dinner at Bedok Hawker center.
Hubby : What shall we have for dinner
Me : Want to try the chilli crabs?
MIL : Aiyo, crabs very high cholestro, dun want dun want
Hubby : any other suggestion
MIL : Son, order a fried oyster for me!
So, fried osyter dun have high cholestro??
:frustrated: -
EatNonStop:
My own mum used to be a gambler too......I personally dont trust she can do a good job in taking care of kids since her \"heart\" and \"soul\" is always with the MJ table and yes, her children helped to clear most of her debts too..She & FIL stay with my only bro so \"automatically\" she has to look after her grandchildren (My bro's kids). For the past 13 years, I would not say she did a wonderful job but she has at least taken care the needs for the grandchildren. My bro would not allow her to \"disappear\" if no adult is around the house thus she will only go for her \"hobby\" in the evening or weekends when my bro or his wife are back from work.Pan8888 wrote : [quote]Hey everyone out there,
hope u all can advise abit.
mil is a gambler, now in debt and say want to kick the habit.
DH suggest that she take care of DS so she wont go gambling.
do u all think i should take the risk?
My mum is a changed person now eversince since she attends church 2 years ago. And yes, she kicked off her gambling habit and most importantly, she no longer in touch with the gambling friends.
If your mil deeply loves and dotes on your DS, your DS might be the strength to make the change
................most importantly, your mil must have the determination to stay away from the gambling habit and the cirlce of gambling friends. Good luck[/quote]Problem is she been gambling for more than 20 years!! she got alot of MJ/casino/genting/cruise friends etc... so tempting... not the first time indebt...
And daytime she is the only at home. so I think very very difficult..
She prefer to take care of mine rather than her own daugther's kid.
(In fact, she sometimes is taking care of that kid but still go gambling....)
So how do I put trust in her and taking the risk of my DS's future?
DH want me to pay her!! ( DH seems so selfish!! want me to pay her and want to risk DS future in order want to change mil !!! feel kind of strange!!!) -
If your mil is a very rooted gambler then very difficult cos gamblers dun care about consequences whenever they gambled away the hard earn $$$ by themselves or kids and worst if they are in debt. If your mil is a "part-time player" still can manage. They are just like druf addicts unless totally kick off the bad habit. You may want to set rules and conditions with hubby if no choice that your mil ultimately the one to look after your DS. Your hubby will only be able "to reject" his mum when he has enough facts and evidences to "openly" rejects his own mum. So you may need to record incidences to "accumulate" facts to reason out with hubby and then weigh the importance. We the daughter-in-laws always see as "small things blow into big things"…unless you dare enough to stand firm in your decision and care less about what hubby and mil think
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cwc:
Hi CWc, interesting to read through this thread..& I was smiling in my heart when I read all ur postHa ha. This is interesting. My hubby has been complaining about my sudden interest in KSP as I have been going online quite a lot. He even threaten to come in and see what is getting me so hooked on....arggghhh, I shouldn't have used my initials
what a giveaway.
Anyway, this is my story....
My part-time helper only comes on weekdays and daytime. Middle-aged and quite a nice lady. One day, MIL saw FIL walking in wobbly manner, so asked helper to massage FIL's legs....helper agreed. I opposed but MIL insisted. So for next few days, MIL specifically gave instruction every morning to helper to massage FIL a few times each day....even instruct me to oversee and make sure helper does it.
One fine day, hubby came home early,
Hubby : How come helper massaging FIL leg? Who asked her to?
Me : I look at MIL direction
MIL : NO HOR!!! Not me hor!!! I din hor!!! Helper herself go and do it one. Must be FIL ask her to. Dun know why helper go and massage. I did not hor!!! (very vehemently denied) :shock:
Well, hubby scolded her and also insisted no more massage as helper is a lady, not appropriate. So you see, this is just 1 of the MANY MANY things that MIL will say/do and then denied vehemently
no wonder u were so ecstatic till u sms me about her discovery that the military set was sold off!!
Anyway, I don't have MIL to put up with, coz she passed away more than 10 yr ago..but from my hubby's description, don't think I will have much problems with her..In fact, wish that she's still around, coz according to hubby, she loves kids & sure will help us look after our kids, then at least I can work in peace, without worrying about my kids with maid..or rather, I think I will rather face MIL problems, than maid problems, coz I can't afford to stop working & my own mum is unwilling to help(which is another LONG long story) Basically, what a lot of u faced from ur MILs, are what I faced from my mum..isn't that much more worse?
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cool_hi:
:lol: hee hee....not just the military set, when MIL saw people coming to my place to collect the ikea tables & stools....I dunno how to describe her look. But too late, it's gone....so she went to hubby and commented that i should not have sold them, can place here, place there, etc etc. But then, hubby and I discussed and agreed one.... :celebrate:
Hi CWc, interesting to read through this thread..& I was smiling in my heart when I read all ur post no wonder u were so ecstatic till u sms me about her discovery that the military set was sold off!!
Better control control :love: -
:lol: hee hee....not just the military set, when MIL saw people coming to my place to collect the ikea tables & stools....I dunno how to describe her look. But too late, it's gone....so she went to hubby and commented that i should not have sold them, can place here, place there, etc etc. But then, hubby and I discussed and agreed one.... :celebrate:
:[/quote]
CWC,
Haha! I'm sure her look must be much more entertaining than any other comedy!! Hee...& probably she thinking,\"huh? like that also can ah?\"
It must be a shock to her that we can sell+buy things through internet this way -
Hi, will like to seek your opinion on MIL issue… My MIL is currently taking care of DS who’s in full-day CC. We have been giving her $900 and FIL $250 till now. I have just had a DD and am thinking of letting my own mum taking care of her.
Reason being, firstly, I am not so happy with the way MIL was taking care of my son, he has been eating cereals and not porridge for lunch all the while till he went childcare at 2 yrs old. She also likes to watch TV in the afternoon with my son and sometimes am lazy, i.e. dont wash DS’s hair in the night if she feels weather is ‘cooling’, just wipe DS’s bum with a tissue if his poo is of ‘good shape’ and not messy. $900 may not be a lot to some, but to us, it’s quite a huge amount, not forgetting she doesnt cook dinner for us and for DS’s dinner, its just rice and soup, no meat, vegets… Most of DS’s food are also paid by us.
I’m thinking of giving her $600 only, mainly to take care of my son when he’s back from full-day childcare and to feed and bath him before we come home from work around 7. Is this reasonable? I can then pay my mum the $300 (on top of the current amount i pay my mum) to take care of DD. I’m concerned whether DS can bond with DD in due course, but I also feel that MIL is getting old and we cant afford a maid (which will cause another $1k in total?).
can you let me know your views whether my thinkings is reasonable.
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