In-law problems?

[BeContented]

missbluey:

[

haha! are you referring to my mil?
my maid dislikes her on the first month of her work. mil always interfered in her work, scolded her \"budoh\", \"siao\" until now maid knows all these terms liao.
i know my maid is abit slow sometimes but she don't have to keep scolding her right? once, (after 2yrs) maid told me she wanted to go back. i was like WTH.
its true that mil is better @ chores than maid. sometimes she just went a little too far. hubby ah, don't really interfere lor. hais. then mil does complain to me about maid, like she getting lousy & turning a deaf ear towards mil when she scolds her. sigh.
for eg. mil forbid maid to use washing machine when she wants to wash blanket & comforter. then use what to wash?! :siao:

Ha ha...think many many many MIL similar :rant: Vicious cycle....MIL scold, maid not happy purposely act blur, cry & whatever, MIL even more fedup :rant: more and I'm the one going crazy.
My MIL also refused to let maid use washing machine for blanket, bedsheet, mattress protector and all their clothings. Even scold me and gave order that I cannot allow. To ensure, MIL would make maid wash early morning so that she can monitor b4 leaving to work (just in case I secretly help rinse or spin dry)..... No choice, MIL's must handwash, mine and kids I'll still use washing machine.

[missbluey]

cwc:

missbluey:

[

haha! are you referring to my mil?
my maid dislikes her on the first month of her work. mil always interfered in her work, scolded her \"budoh\", \"siao\" until now maid knows all these terms liao.
i know my maid is abit slow sometimes but she don't have to keep scolding her right? once, (after 2yrs) maid told me she wanted to go back. i was like WTH.
its true that mil is better @ chores than maid. sometimes she just went a little too far. hubby ah, don't really interfere lor. hais. then mil does complain to me about maid, like she getting lousy & turning a deaf ear towards mil when she scolds her. sigh.
for eg. mil forbid maid to use washing machine when she wants to wash blanket & comforter. then use what to wash?! :siao:

Ha ha...think many many many MIL similar :rant: Vicious cycle....MIL scold, maid not happy purposely act blur, cry & whatever, MIL even more fedup :rant: more and I'm the one going crazy.
My MIL also refused to let maid use washing machine for blanket, bedsheet, mattress protector and all their clothings. Even scold me and gave order that I cannot allow. To ensure, MIL would make maid wash early morning so that she can monitor b4 leaving to work (just in case I secretly help rinse or spin dry)..... No choice, MIL's must handwash, mine and kids I'll still use washing machine.

oh ya ya! my maid use the crying method. sometimes i wonder who pays the maid salary?? i know mil is trying to help me to correct maid, so next time she won't slack in my new house. but hor, some ppl so used to the scoldings that they are immune to it le.
another eg, my maid used to iron during the afternoons every sundays. then mil complained loudly why she iron clothes & \"push\" the baby to us???/what if my #1 will run & play with the hot iron etc etc. :stupid: then mil imposed rule on her that she can only do the ironing @ night when both kids are sleeping. NOW when she irons @ night, mil SCOLD!!! :faint:
hais, i really don't know how to complain.
on the other hand, my maid somehow took over cuz mil seldom aim me now.

[janet88]

If these MIL continue to give the maids a hard time, there will be chances of 1) maid running away/want a transfer 2) kill the MIL. Not surprising since this has happened.

Yes, I know these maids need to be supervised and monitored or they will be up to monkey tricks but pull a string too tight will lead to tragedy.

[tracytmks]

my mil i say her abit face black behind my back complain to hubby. scold my gal she oso complain worst behind my back somemore. hubby always side her. i says his mum wat wat wat he always give lamn excuses. hubby complain say his sis come i gave black face. whr got i came hm saw SIL come smile to my gal just nvr greet her cause i know she hates me. i just go rm put my bag n change clothes i come out she go homes so many times liao i just hack care. nw he blames me for dis outside stray i cries til eyes swollen. cant tell my family as i doesnt wan to stir up yet currently no concrete proof. i scold my kids mil give black face not happy. but she can pass remarks says later mummy scold kids dont listen to her i m kind so raise my voice onthe kids she not happy wat she wan???

[CuriousDaddy]

I do find it helpful with my in law staying with me. She’s a great help and also help to oversee our helper is taking care of my boy…

[CuriousDaddy]

and best is i do get to enjoy home cook food with her around...


me & wife busy with work, so really enjoy blessed to have her cooking for us... :celebrate:

[BeContented]

Hi CuriousDaddy,

that's because generally, MIL's expectation of Son-IL is very different from DIL.
Generally most mothers will 心痛 /feel for own daughter and willingly help to relief the daughter of some chores. On the other hand, tradtional mothers who have been doing EVERYTHING for the son expects the DIL to come home and still do the chores and take care (short of using the word 'serve') of their son. They see the domestic chores and kids as the JOB of the woman whether they work or not.

My DH knew that & he willingly mops the floor and do some chores so that I do not get :rant: by MIL. But of course, MIL not too happy but won't say much if the son is firm enough.

You are lucky that the MIL helps. Some may not.....

[janet88]

cwc:

Hi CuriousDaddy,

that's because generally, MIL's expectation of Son-IL is very different from DIL.
Generally most mothers will 心痛 /feel for own daughter and willingly help to relief the daughter of some chores. On the other hand, tradtional mothers who have been doing EVERYTHING for the son expects the DIL to come home and still do the chores and take care (short of using the word 'serve') of their son. They see the domestic chores and kids as the JOB of the woman whether they work or not.

My DH knew that & he willingly mops the floor and do some chores so that I do not get :rant: by MIL. But of course, MIL not too happy but won't say much if the son is firm enough.

True, well-said :celebrate:
My mum treats my hubby like her son.
MILs however, want their daughters-in-law to work so that their precious sons won't be so 辛苦 supporting family by himself. After work, still do chores and attend to kids and preferably serve the husband as well. Oh yes, don't think of getting maid bcos they will say they didn't have maids back then.

[Mrs Ang]

janet_lee88:

True, well-said :celebrate:

My mum treats my hubby like her son.
MILs however, want their daughters-in-law to work so that their precious sons won't be so 辛苦 supporting family by himself. After work, still do chores and attend to kids and preferably serve the husband as well. Oh yes, don't think of getting maid bcos they will say they didn't have maids back then.

But they didn't have so much work stresses back then too!

[BeContented]

Curious.....anyone has problem with FIL?


Hubby is telling me that I need to learn to handle. But I find it very unfair. :mad: :rant:
FIL has dementia and I think he has slowly reached the next stage. Recently, he has been displaying inappropriate behaviour such as walking out of toilet with pants down and playing with his stuff. I read up and these are some of the symptoms with dementia patients.......
While my DD has yet to witness any (and I dun want to subject my kids to it), I personally am VERY upset despite all the reading & the maid is a little too. No doubt the maid has been pre-empt and told about his condition and the job requirement is to take care of FIL, think it's still quite upsetting for any woman, isn't it?

Anyone has experience? How do you deal with it? How do we train the maid?
Personally, I feel like sending FIL to nursing home, I can't deal with it......