In-law problems?
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SAHM Chew:
ha! me too! when i go back, i don't even greet. i just simply don't see, don't look, don't say anything.
I just stay in my room :rahrah:janet_lee88:
Wow, how do you do that? Staying together and yet have freedom to do own things. If I have to face them for 2 hours, my BP will shoot, especially with that spoilt brat daughter.
Even if we see each other, we just ignore each other. I am the bad DIL. But i cannot be bothered already. If not, i will have high BP everyday. And die earlier.
I am practising see no evil, hear no evil. :rotflmao: just stayed in my room n watch my drama..... Better to have drama at home.
it's easy when i seriously dislike them. no need bp to rise. bad for my health heh :imcool: -
SAHM Chew:
i really feel for you. :hugs:
Hi buds,buds:
SAHM Chew, i've been in your shoes before. :hugs: I can understand perfectly how it feels. I once told hubs that the house does not feel like home. I was sad when he said, \"It's not a home. It's just a house where everybody can have a roof over their heads.\"
It's a *deal with it* diplomatic answer. I choked on my tears that day when he said that. That day was a few years ago but seems just like yesterday. Time heals all wounds? Think i need more time.
We now have our own HOME.
Not without a fight of course.
But i suppose it has been worth it.
My house do not feel like a HOME too. But no matter how many fights we have, we will not have our own house as long as PIL are around. That is a true fact and i can not deny it. Even if i put up 1000 fights, the reality still remind. :sad:
Now, i just remind quiet n keep to myself :sad: nobody to pour my woes to. But luckily, i find this forum, if not, i will get mad.
Thanks to all the sis that are willing to hear my woes. :boogie:
everytime i hesitate when i say, 'i'm going home' coz it isn't a home. it's just a place where we sleep and put our things. it feels sooooo lousy all the time. i used to stay in the office til very late to avoid going back. pathetic right? rather stay in office... -
Nightlone, its quite sad when i think about it. But then, 我过不了自己这一关.
I try to be more tolerate, look ahead to the future, but once i thought about the past, i just couldn't be the good DIL.nightlone:
ha! me too! when i go back, i don't even greet. i just simply don't see, don't look, don't say anything.
I just stay in my room :rahrah:SAHM Chew:
[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]Wow, how do you do that? Staying together and yet have freedom to do own things. If I have to face them for 2 hours, my BP will shoot, especially with that spoilt brat daughter.
Even if we see each other, we just ignore each other. I am the bad DIL. But i cannot be bothered already. If not, i will have high BP everyday. And die earlier.
I am practising see no evil, hear no evil. :rotflmao: just stayed in my room n watch my drama..... Better to have drama at home.
it's easy when i seriously dislike them. no need bp to rise. bad for my health heh :imcool:[/quote] -
Seriously, I am keen to meet up with the ladies here.... Are we really that bad???!!!! :rotflmao:
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Hugs to you ladies!!
Many of us have walked in your shoes. I have but I am happy to share that we have finally the whole place to ourselves. Well almost because I still need to maintain a room and mattresses for my in laws.
My house was like a hotel or halfway house. We had so many boarders until we had to sign in blood who did laundry on what days. I didn’t have the right to use my kitchen during the early days, and for years I never touched the TV remote control.
Don’t know how we did it but my relationship with DH suffered. We tried to accommodate so many until we had nothing to give each other. We hardly talked because every conversation led to a quarrel. So many little things were so petty. Eg SIL had the habit of using up all cups, we had designated cups and about half a dozen generic ones, and never wash up. Couldn’t even drink water because we had to find and wash them.
But we kept most of the unhappiness between us. I believe the rest appreciated the room & board until they had places of their own. We even helped financially so they could start out. The returns was our own space and freedom.
I can only say, it makes all the difference to have your own place. A place that we can be a family, where we can talk and quarrel freely, and a place we can bring up our kids our own way.
Hang in there, ladies! Your freedom will come. -
:snuggles:
Reading all your posts made me feel for you.
How to stay together under one roof?
If I have to stay with that sickening SIL, I would see her undies in the laundry and hang them as well :mad:
Not only that, the house will also look like garung kuni bcos the old one loves clutter and she refuses to throw.
Hang on, I wish you all the best and your own space soon. -
I have my problems with in-laws too. Keeping house small so that there is no space for extra persons. There will not be any extra room and TV serials are bad influence and not allowed in my house. Friend’s wife also does the same to ensure his parents are kept from moving in with them.
I always bring something during our visits to keep relationship at a distance, maid goes back into her room if they visit so that cannot kay poh about my family matters and think they now get the message and now seldom visit us unless they need help from hubby on weekday. Usually hubby meets them outside home. Even when hubby or kids are sick, I do not allow visits giving excuse that it may spread to the other kids in the family as PILs helping look after them.
Have managed to draw the lines quite clear over the last 12 years and as kids grow older, we meet less. More tuition = less time. -
Coolkidsrock2:
When I had maid back then, I told my maid if old one ever asks her about my family, TELL HER that I do not like her to talk. Other than answering maid's own name and age...do not ask anything else.I have my problems with in-laws too. Keeping house small so that there is no space for extra persons. There will not be any extra room and TV serials are bad influence and not allowed in my house. Friend's wife also does the same to ensure his parents are kept from moving in with them.
I always bring something during our visits to keep relationship at a distance, maid goes back into her room if they visit so that cannot kay poh about my family matters and think they now get the message and now seldom visit us unless they need help from hubby on weekday. Usually hubby meets them outside home. Even when hubby or kids are sick, I do not allow visits giving excuse that it may spread to the other kids in the family as PILs helping look after them. -
I always envy those who can own their own hse. Not because we cannot afford too, but we are restricted by the rules by hdb. I did not own any property b4 n just because PIL wanted to buy pte property n could not take loans as they had retire, they just simply use DH n SIL name to buy the pte property. N DH n SIL had to service the loan monthly.
Now, DH n me could not buy any hdb, as DH name is in the pte property, n we r not rich enough to get another pte property :sad:. PIL refuse to sell the house n release my DH's name fm the pte property, n PIL refused to move back to HDB.
:sad: :sad: :sad:
We r not able to remove DH name fm the pte property as the $250k from cpf need to be pay back into cpf. PIL n SIL will not be able to pay the $ back to cpf, even though the shares will be transfer to their name. Then DH says that if i wanted to move, we will pay back to cpf ourselves.
:yikes: $250k leh, even i have the $, i will not be so stupid... Am i the seller or the buyer? $250k leh, pay to cpf so that PIL n SIL own the pte hse completely without any effort? -
SAHM Chew:
So now you are staying private property but unhappy...I would be unhappy too if I had to stay with THEM...own roof and freedom beats this anytime.I always envy those who can own their own hse. Not because we cannot afford too, but we are restricted by the rules by hdb. I did not own any property b4 n just because PIL wanted to buy pte property n could not take loans as they had retire, they just simply use DH n SIL name to buy the pte property. N DH n SIL had to service the loan monthly.
Now, DH n me could not buy any hdb, as DH name is in the pte property, n we r not rich enough to get another pte property :sad:. PIL refuse to sell the house n release my DH's name fm the pte property, n PIL refused to move back to HDB.
:sad: :sad: :sad:
I hope you get your freedom and own place soon.
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