In-law problems?

[phtthp]

what is "无明" in English ?

[janet88]

surprisingly my hubby was pissed with his mother this time…anyway, my duty call is done.

[ImMeeMee]

Insider, you are right. Sacrifice connotes a mindset, the word should be ‘letting go’ instead.


Actually somehow I know. It’s just that knowing and practising are different things. And I am having problems practising it cos the ‘self’ is in the way. And that is my biggest struggle.

Think you know what I mean.

[vinegar]

it is emotional struggle…indeed…


I’ve a good DH. But MIL is very clingy…he is not the only son,but her fav son.Don’t stay together,but she calls extremely often. I try to control,try to ignore,try to compromise,try to understand…

Told myself,afterall,she is old n lonely(despite she stays wf elder son,DIL,with few grandchildren n good helper).she doesn’t nid to worry abt money n hsework…

Insider, u r right.It is difficult to stay calm…esp.when his phone rings non-stop n he has to throw me one side n entertain her. DH n me hardly hv chance to hv meal together without kids…probably once per yr…sometimes even none.I was left alone,having meal alone,while he was outside to receive her call n talked to her almost an hour or more…I endure…tolerant…tolerant…n hv to pretend a happy & "nothing" happen kinda look…coz i didn’t wanna spoil the mood.

Really…letting go is not easy

[vinegar]

"Dont sacrifice coz it denotes a meaning of you are giving up your ownself for the sake of another.


Is it worth to sacrifice if one can’t have more kid bcoz of inlaws? Due to DH cannot leave them aside.If MIL finds out, she’ll make trouble. So hv to give up our fertility treatment plan.

[vinegar]

now i am no longer enjoy going out wf DH even there is chance for us to go out as couple. Indeed it has created a strain in our r/s. We do things separately nowadays.Coz I no longer wanna share my thought or feelings wf him…knowing that he’ll share everything wf his mum. He seems doesn’t understand…coz he has lived wf his mum for the past 32yrs.He feels it is a norm for her to call everyday,he feels it is norm to share everything wf her.


I’ve to learn to accept it…even after 10yrs of marriage…i am still learning to accept.Coz he expects me to accept it.

I understand his difficulties.Coz if one day he ignores her mum’s call or doesn’t share his daily life wf her,she’ll be upset.

I would rather go out wf friends than wf DH nowadays.I would rather share my feelings wf my friends…I would rather do things alone,if i can’t find any friends.

[cherrygal]

yes, being married to a mama’s boy is no bed of roses… hang in there


But sometimes when I am in a generous mood, I will thank her in my heart for producing such a nice boy that takes good care of me… we just can’t get past the "self" at times, like what ImMeemee mentioned.

[cherrygal]

phtthp:

what is \"无明\" in English ?

解释：不能见到世间实相的根本力量，也是我们执取和贪嗔的根源。

The inability to see the truth... Source of our wants and desires...

[vinegar]

cherrygal:

yes, being married to a mama's boy is no bed of roses... hang in there


But sometimes when I am in a generous mood, I will thank her in my heart for producing such a nice boy that takes good care of me... we just can't get past the \"self\" at times, like what ImMeemee mentioned.

thanks for ur encouragement

[ImMeeMee]

cherrygal:

phtthp:

what is \"无明\" in English ?

解释：不能见到世间实相的根本力量，也是我们执取和贪嗔的根源。

The inability to see the truth... Source of our wants and desires...

I tend to think of it as blind spots in layman terms.