Spouse or Kids? Which comes first?
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A bit like asking whether food or water is more important. Reading through a different thread, really sent a shudder down my spine. God forbid that I fail so badly in my marriage that we should seek a separation.
DW and I have vowed that no matter how KSParents we be, we will always set aside fixed time for each other every week. Go out for dinner, watch a movie, romance each other and have ‘together’ time very regularly. In the busyness of work and child-minding, its all too easy to take each other for granted, and then slowly drift apart. If the bond is strong and there is intimacy, many obstacles can be overcome.
My posit is that a strong marriage begets a strong family, and if there were a conflict between spouse-time and kid-time, spouse time usually comes out ahead.
Your thoughts? -
3Boys:
we will always set aside fixed time for each other every week.
sneaking into the dark kitchen to quietly snack on ice-cream twice a week without letting the kids know...does that count?
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jedamum:
I think the more imaginative people in the forum are thinking it more than counts3Boys:
we will always set aside fixed time for each other every week.
sneaking into the dark kitchen to quietly snack on ice-cream twice a week without letting the kids know...does that count?
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3Boys:
I think the more imaginative people in the forum are thinking it more than countsjedamum:
[quote=\"3Boys\"]we will always set aside fixed time for each other every week.
sneaking into the dark kitchen to quietly snack on ice-cream twice a week without letting the kids know...does that count?[/quote] :lol: Certainly spending time together in any way(legally) is better than none!
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I am of the same view that strong spouse relationships supports strong family ties especially when children look to the parents as role models and pillars in a family.
My spouse and I hardly speak in loud tones to one another, so my child does not speak in loud tones either. She watches us very closely so if we don't get ourselves right, it will affect her.
Spouse time is definitely important as people can grow apart. Once that happens, the family unit will also fall apart.
So if I need to make a clearly defined choice, it would be spouse time and typically this time is more quality time than quantity time.
For children, relative to spouse, they will need more quantity of time from us. Also, I think children should be educated to know that parents need time together without their presence, then there is no need to make choices, they will make themselves scarce on their own... :lol: -
Hubby!
:love: -
Hubby is more important than the 2 precious boys that we have.
We squeeze whatever time we have to spend together amidst the child-minding/playing/family time. We are a very sticky family, so everything do together. Couple time comes only when children goes to school/asleep.
Our live role model comes from my in-laws. Once marriage malfunctions, the children too shall suffer the bitterness in a failed marriage. We meet them weekly for such 'sessions' - to show how a family collapses. (i'm not being cynical here)ks2me:
Second to that!My spouse and I hardly speak in loud tones to one another, so my child does not speak in loud tones either. She watches us very closely so if we don't get ourselves right, it will affect her.
Still trying to learn as DH and I are both raised in families who do speak in quite loud volume. End up we do speak in that volume too. Trying (really hard) to speak in softer tones to the children. -
Hmm…spouse or kid first ?..Hmm
Scene A:
Feverish DD : Mom…I feel so weak and my fever is like it’s not going to come down…
Me : Don’t worry dear, I will sleep beside you tonight… You feel better then right?
Scene B:
Feverish DH : I got fever and I feel weak
Me : Just take panadol and go to sleep. By the way, sleep in the guestroom so that we don’t get your virus…
Answer is quite clear for my case…hor ? ha ha… -
westmom:
haha...sounds familiar....Hmm...spouse or kid first ?..Hmm
Scene A:
Feverish DD : Mom..I feel so weak and my fever is like it's not going to come down...
Me : Don't worry dear, I will sleep beside you tonight... You feel better then right?
Scene B:
Feverish DH : I got fever and I feel weak
Me : Just take panadol and go to sleep. By the way, sleep in the guestroom so that we don't get your virus...
Answer is quite clear for my case..hor ? ha ha....
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westmom:
No sponge bath for DH? :lol:Hmm...spouse or kid first ?..Hmm
Scene A:
Feverish DD : Mom..I feel so weak and my fever is like it's not going to come down...
Me : Don't worry dear, I will sleep beside you tonight... You feel better then right?
Scene B:
Feverish DH : I got fever and I feel weak
Me : Just take panadol and go to sleep. By the way, sleep in the guestroom so that we don't get your virus...
Answer is quite clear for my case..hor ? ha ha....
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