桃花谈

[SAHM_TAN]

I attended a talk. The speaker is fr Taiwan. The talk is on parenting. One of the points he mentioned was we should give our kids full freedom and not make them feel guilty or worried when they are off to adventures or what not. For example if the kid is off to camping, don’t say please me careful mummy will be worried if you are not careful. I’m still thinking abt the meaning of the that.

[concern2]

SAHM_TAN:

I attended a talk. The speaker is fr Taiwan. The talk is on parenting. One of the points he mentioned was we should give our kids full freedom and not make them feel guilty or worried when they are off to adventures or what not. For example if the kid is off to camping, don't say please me careful mummy will be worried if you are not careful. I'm still thinking abt the meaning of the that.

I think it is the \"mummy will be worried\" part that one should let go of. Instead, we should give them the confidence and have faith that they will take good care of themselves when they are away from us, believing also in ourselves that we have taught them well. So, perhaps should say,\"Mummy believe you will take good care of yourself!\" It feels good to be trusted, and be counted upon. If the fella really \"lun zhun\" type, I think no amount of cautioning will help..just have to :xedfingers:

[pirate]

MMM:

I've 3 kids. The 2 older ones don't copy answers from the assessment book behind... I tend to misplace it and they can be trusted.

But the youngest... did it when she was P1. She realised there is answer sheet when dd1 refer to her book to help check her answer. Wow... she was happily copying and we got really :mad: at her. That taught her a lesson.

I just find it strange as I never have this problem with my 2 older kids even when they were younger. My dd2 (youngest) is very chatty and she loves to test our limit. Eg. she would question why must she do this and that work, why must she do 5 corrections, why must she attend this class, why must I test her till she got it right, why this and why that???? While the 2 older ones don't.... She loves to go on stage (nominated to pull flag) and she will prepare speech to contest for monitor position (P2 this year). Her results is so so as she cannot focus (and hence careless). So yes, she is special in her own way. Someone told us that she will do very well next time and she is the \"brightest\" among 3 of them.... But I was telling my mum.... I don't see that yet...She is like the most \"gao keng\" and laziest among them. Maybe the time is not ripe....

Looks like it to me too. This type needs special handling because very easy to go astray.

[keroppi]

insider:

hahaha...see lah...got nothing better to do but to go and plant such kind of seed into yourself... (never give bazi to strangers, esp those 'salepeople' coz it's their 'duty' to plant bad seeds onto people so that they can make money.)

Just go and buy a PiChu (What's that huh?) if it helps to free your anxiety.

Thanks for your advice. It was after reading this thread that i realised never to give bazi to anyone.
PiChu = 貔貅 (pixiu).

So what you are saying is that if it comes true, it comes true but don't dwell on it as it will not help. If i don't think about it, the bad seed will stop growing on me?

[MMM]

keroppi:

Insider, I've got a question for you.


Last year, we booked a Taiwan tour package. The trip was good but marred by the stop at the PiChu store. The sales people were quite persistent and wanted to know our bazi. Even though we told them we don't believe in such things cos of our religion, they said this fengshui thingy has nothing to do with religion and hence DH was somewhat swayed by them.

Then they told us some thing about our kids like one will meet with a car accident and very hua xing when he grows up & as much as I hate to admit, it sort of suck with me. Suppose to buy one pichu for him to zhuan yun but we didn't. Now when my DS comes back late, I am abit unnerved. How do I deal with it? So sian. Should never have stepped into the shop. :slapshead:

Hey we did that as part of our Taiwan tour too. In Taiwan, they call it tianlu. The tour leader told us this Zheng Laoshi from gugong, etc... must have affinity then can see her or get personal consultation, etc... as fate has it, we had \"affinity\" with her as my dd2 was being used in her example on how to read the 5 elements during the group session and she did the analysis for us personally after that....

Sorry not scaring you as I believe in Taiwan, there are many of such shops, etc... so not sure if everyone is accurate. But what the person at the shop in our case said was quite accurate based on the five elements analysis. Eg. she commented that my dd2 is very \"clever\" that sometimes we are also fooled by her.... Subsequently during the 1 to 1 session, she caution us that dd2 is very career minded type and as a result, her marriage might not be that good. So she should go for a older spouse.

She also enlighten dh and myself on our career, dd1 and ds on their future path. It was interesting for ds as she said that he will pursue something not so conventional/ more technical and we should have a open mind to support him. Well, he is very much into band and would tell me he wants to be a conductor, etc... Let's see. Overall, I found her analysis quite accurate for myself and constructive. I was tempted to buy the tianlu but dh was not keen. So in the end, I only bought a small tianlu for ds.

There are several of such shops in Singapore and the price is :yikes: Those in Taiwan is not cheap too... mid size is easily thousands while small is already hundreds.

In our group, there is this family which bought from them. They said that they believe and actually has couple others at home. For the rest, they bought the smaller ones like us.

[Gooby]

insider:

Maybe can watch the below first when free to reflect on what childhood can do for kiddos...



[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTU9cX0n60o][/youtube]

Hi Insider,

Thanks for your sharing on this thread and this video as well. Your sharing has been very insightful and strike a cord with me, as with many others.

Usually when I hear of such 'out of the norm' news, I will think a deeper level and tend to take pity on people like John Wayne Gacy. I feel especially sad towards the last part at 32.42. When he was finally caught. While booking him, the police ask 'Where were you born?' and he replied, 'born in a state of confusion'.

How suffering to been born with a split personality or bipolar disorder etc. and leading a double life all these while. I can't imagine a young child growing up having confusion about his own sexual orientation and personality and having to face all these and walk this path alone. He must have been struggling very hard within since young. How sad when you are left struggling alone without any help to guide you. Not his family, siblings, wives, friends etc. How could someone be both an angel and a devil to such extreme.

I feel sad for him and the lost lives of the 33 young boys and men whom he killed. On the bright side, I believe this is his objective in this life. Allowing society and people to take notice and understand more about the existence of such extreme people and provide the right help.

Like what insider said, all of us are born with good and bad seeds. Right and wrong is only separated by a thin line. For people like him, they can either do very wonderful deeds or create castastrophe to the world. His bad seeds and dark side was too strong to overcome.

His absusive father definitely does not know of the 'multiplier effect' that we are talking about. This event happened in the 70s, society was still very conservative. How was he able to share and get help on his confused sexual orientation with anybody.

Many people are constantly struggling within themselves and suffering in silence and in desperate need of help to bring them back to the right path.

Given a choice, I do not think he enjoy taking other people's lives and causing grief and shame to his family and the many people his hurt..

[Giggler1]

Finally finished reading the thread within 2 days.


I would like to thank Insider and the rest who shared their stories.

A lot of things on my mind now and I would need to go through the stories again to digest some of the great pointers.

Feel really fortunate to chance upon this thread and trying to find out how the stories here can help to solve my problems.

Thanks again

[Imami]

insider:

Just go and buy a PiChu (What's that huh?)

that is 貔貅

[Imami]

MMM:

keroppi:

。。。 the PiChu。。。

In Taiwan, they call it tianlu.

The difference between天祿 and 貔貅 lies with the horns. 天祿 has one horn. 貔貅 has two.

[insider]

Imami:

[

The difference between天祿 and 貔貅 lies with the horns. 天祿 has one horn. 貔貅 has two.

errr....honestly I have heard of all these but never really know how they look like...

Maybe just put a hornless insider in a house can also 避邪... (kekeke...)