桃花谈
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ammonite:
Glad u keep the baby. Children is blessing. A lot of my frds hv prob to conceive...take all the trouble to go thru IVF,IUI,etc.....I wish to hv more but my age does not allow.
I was faced with the choice of aborting or keeping the baby. Dh left the choice to me, as he was also not prepared. Financially, he was a big fat zero having just finished his postgrad. When I saw the scan showing ds's heartbeat, I knew I would keep him. Even though it never crossed my mind that I would become a mother before this, I knew right away that I would be a stay home mum. -
Hi insider,
Thanks for sharing your 2nd sis’ story.
The situation that your sis has with her kids is something that I’m trying to avoid. -
wow, many touching contributions today!
I am in a rush to do my hair for a wedding dinner.
So, tonight I’ll be ‘on leave’ from writing.
Will catch up again! -
Imami:
What? What? Don't keep us in suspense...you didn't take pic?
Glad to read this. A few years back, I lang gar my husband’s car in a car park. Yup, car park (so pai she, where got people lang gar in car park, at 20km/h some more!). I was trying to pick up my son’s balloon, lost sight of what’s in front, steer too much to the right and BANG into another car parked nearby. I panicked, not knowing what to do. There was an obvious option – to run away of course. I surveyed the surrounding to make sure there was no witness and no security camera. Guess what I did?hquek:
hi insider,
On the idea of karma catching up with one, share experience. Long time ago, my car was damaged by unknown vehicle in the carpark late at night. Fortunately, damage was only couple of hundred dollars but it still stung (I was parked properly). Fast forward to years down the road. My dad's vehicle was banged by another car....and that owner happened to stay in my block (talk about coincidence). The owner wanted to settle it out of insurance (minor only). I think his wife was trying to settle for lesser payment (FYI, my dad didn't make any money out of it, only asked for what's necessary to cover the repairs). She then told me that she actually saw the vehicle that crashed into my car...and then went all mysterious and refused to say which unit it was.
by that time, the sting of having to bear another person's fault was over and since the wife didn't want to share further, I left it as that. Just thought to myself this IS karma indeed. She knew and she didn't tell (she could have anonymously left a note) - and she HAD to tell me only much later. -
hquek:
There is a lot of karmic effects pertaining to road accidents - smaller ones are usually just a departure with cash. But many people cannot take it, and won't let go even if it is their fault, or try to 'pay minimal'. The same can be said about those who get bumped - must squeeze the most out of others, like taking chance to reap a profit, I don't understand why. Sometimes, if just a scratch, other party willing to pay $200 bucks, then close one eye, take it as Ang Pow, but no, must be 'fair' and get it assessed...go one big round, in the end get nothing, waste of time...hi insider,
Your 要做不要怨, 要怨不要做 is to me like 一觉惊醒梦中人. I enjoy keeping the house clean and it really bothers me to have 3 boys (the adult one included) not share the same idea. At times I did blow up and then you will see 3 boy mice scuttling to undo whatever damage they did. will keep this as my 座右铭.
On the idea of karma catching up with one, share experience. Long time ago, my car was damaged by unknown vehicle in the carpark late at night. Fortunately, damage was only couple of hundred dollars but it still stung (I was parked properly). Fast forward to years down the road. My dad's vehicle was banged by another car....and that owner happened to stay in my block (talk about coincidence). The owner wanted to settle it out of insurance (minor only). I think his wife was trying to settle for lesser payment (FYI, my dad didn't make any money out of it, only asked for what's necessary to cover the repairs). She then told me that she actually saw the vehicle that crashed into my car...and then went all mysterious and refused to say which unit it was.
by that time, the sting of having to bear another person's fault was over and since the wife didn't want to share further, I left it as that. Just thought to myself this IS karma indeed. She knew and she didn't tell (she could have anonymously left a note) - and she HAD to tell me only much later.
-
insider:
:thankyou: insider -reading what you are sharing in this thread is a good learning journey for me....Fengshui is true but this 'Truth' can be misleading, like Macbeth and the Witches...
Fengshui can be used to change the Qi of a place to help a person.
As I said before, we are embedded with positive and negative seeds in us. By using Fengshui, we are trying to use the Qi that Fengshui manages to change to activate the good seeds in us so that good things can happen. Hopefully by activating the good seeds (such as family will have lesser quarrels, get more $$$, etc), the family can be more peaceful and more bad seeds will not be sown. This is the positive part of REAL fengshui.
However, by doing so will not get rid of any of the inherent bad seeds already embedded in us.
We take a simple example of someone having the below embedded seeds in him – 10 good and 10 bad:
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
With the help of a GOOD Fengshui Master (not 骗吃 type huh), someone may experience the sequence of events as below:
++++++++++ ----------
That person may feel life to be very smooth. Spouse and kids guai guai, career smooth, money comes easy. Please note that that person needs to have these original good seeds in order for the Qi of Fengshui to activate. If no such good seeds, then fengshui is not useful. So, basically, one is just using fengshui to ‘realise’ the ‘maturity’ of good seeds earlier.
But then if this someone does not go on to cultivate more good seeds, then the good seeds will slowly diminish. Or, if the Qi of fengshui is suddenly ‘broken’ due to whatsoever reasons, then the ‘suppressed’ negative seeds will start to show up in consecutive manner and this can be a very scary thing.
For example, someone may experience a very smooth life by using Fengshui, then for a certain period in his life, he suddenly loses his job, loses his child, goes into bankruptcy, enters into divorce, etc, at about the same time. Coz these things happen one by one, this person may not be able to take the blows one after another. If he is not strong, he may die.
Bad things happen now and then for good purposes. If they happen sporadically, it builds strength into us to face more and more challenges coming ahead of everyone of us. If one’s life has always been smooth is not actually a good thing over the long run. Bad things actually let us appreciate good things more instead of having the tendency of taking things for granted...(阴 vs 阳 concept that these two are always relative and balanced).
So in summary, Fengshui activates good seeds but do nothing to the bad seeds. These bad seeds can only delay their maturity time but they will mature sooner or later if the carrier doesn’t want to do anything kind to counter the effects of these bad seeds when they mature……
So, it’s still must do good deeds to cultivate good seeds coz of really you reap what you sow. ..
PS:
I am not against Fengshui per se. I use little items in my office to create money Qi. However, I will not go for full scale fengshui in my house coz I know I can create the Qi myself and to engage other family members to create the Qi to activate our own good seeds naturally. I welcome problems for everyone in my house – coz that builds strength while getting rid of some negative seeds at the same time. Therefore, my strong belief of nothing can kill me. If problems want to come, come lor. See one, solve one…
For those who are using small little things to change the Qi of a house (such as using 文昌塔）, those are OK. Just don't attempt to change too much. There's really nothing better than Nature and we know how powerful Nature is...
Always 可信不可迷......
PS2 as add on:
I go back to my Money Bowl Theory that each of us comes to this world with a Bowl Size more or less fixed (changable by the good and bad things we continue to do).
For example (very simple one), someone's Money Bowl needs to go through the below cycle:
---++++-++-++++++- = net 7 pluses in life
By using Fengshui, one maybe able to activate all the money to come in first:
++++++++++++ ----- = net 7 pluses in life
So this person will have the following probable 下场：
1. got money when young but poor when old.
2. got money throughout his life but all his negatives he has to bring to his next life (or leave to his offsprings to settle).
So, you still can hope to get Money by using small fengshui items but should never go into 强求 extent with a massive 风水阵......
I fully agree with you on thoughts about Fengshui.....
I do not know whether Fengshui Masters will share the side effects about Fengshui....
But what you have pointed out the cons of FengShui ... has happened to my family... -
Here's my story
When Late Spouse and I got married , I was very particular about FengShui , zodiac.....anything that can boost our career/life/luck....
So when late Spouse moved office(new job) 15 years ago...I suggested he engaged a FengShui Master to ensure everything works perfectly .....
Came the FengShui Master , ensured everything was in order....
But within 3 years...he suffered a Heart Attack....but fortunately he was young...he recovered quickly...
Beside this mishap....every other thing went smooth...his career/his luck...
On Off he has luck in 4D/Toto....
We even managed to buy a Condo during recession-at that time we only need to pay 5% cash payment....
We moved into the new Condo shortly....so everything was perfect....
Dual Income, 5 figure pay, 2 kids, European Car, Condo, yearly oversea holidays....
I even plan to retire at the age of 40.....
But as Late Spouse was building his status ...Golfing/Branded Stuff...
I felt his character changed...he was pampering himself not on his family....
He would go off for his golf during weekend leaving me alone with the kids...
As I was working , he did not bother to give me any household expenses....
All the Children Expenses , holiday Expenses....I had to bear.....
I had to wake up around 4am, to ensure that my kids leave for school around six and I leave for work.....
My Late Spouse , as I was worried about his poor health due to a Heart Attack (which I mentioned earlier)...I let him sleep....
Me and my Children will take the Public Buses....
We do not have maid...all household chores were done by me....
I did not bother to check his finance because I assumed that he must have used a lot of his money for his routine checkup with the Heart Doctor....
As the kids are young.....I bite the bullet....
One day , late spouse told me he would like to attend Church with his siblings.....all his siblings suddenly started to go to Church....
So he went....I did not as I cannot relate the teachings of Christianity....
After he took faith with his Lord , he started to change his views on FengShui ...he kept all the things related to Fengshui.....
Claiming all these things are Saturns....
Not long he was diagnosed with Cancer Stage 2 ...but again he recovered ....
But this illness revisited him again .....this time he was not so lucky....
Cancer is now Stage 4....
During his battle with Cancer , he will accuse me for bringing Saturn to him....
Because I place a Buddha in the house....
I was hurt but I ignored him of course...because if not for my faith in Buddhism...I would have left him...
when he knew his days were numbered he started to leave his bank statements at places where I would see....
I was shocked that he had managed to save quite a substantial amount...enough to buy a 4 room HDB flat.....
I felt very lousy...I work so hard to provide for the family...waking up early in the morning ....working till late.....worrying that Late Spouse needs a lot of money to maintain his health.....
Each month I drained all my Salary on the Family....
To an Outsider , I was supposed to be a Tai Tai....but my Late Spouse never bother to take care of me.....
He was always dressed in Branded stuff from Head to Toe....
I look more like his maid...there was once he even commented that I must put more effort to dress up before going out with him....
Shortly he passed away and he left a lousy Will....
Even when his gone, he was still torturing me....
His Lousy Will which he appointed his siblings to be the Executors for my kids...who refuse to give me monthly allowance to upkeep my 2 kids upbringing....
The Will stated that my kids can only inherit the money at the age of 21....
but there are clauses which stated clearly that funds can be released before 21 for their education and upbringing...
I pointed these clauses to the Executors , I asked for monthly payment....they choose to ignore me....
I consulted the Lawyers, they advise me even if I won the case...I still have to bear the legal fees, court fees...which can be as high as SGD20K to 30K
I begged the Executors (Late Spouse Siblings)showing them details of the kids upbringing Expenses...they just ignore me....
I gave up hope ....I bite the bullet...
I pawn all my jewels .....and I even found that some of the jewels which my MIL gave me are faked.....so heart breaking....
I cash out my insurance ...
I finally decided not to have any more contacts with my Late Spouse Siblings...
Especially , they refused to acknowledged that Late Spouse had Willed all his CPF to his Dear Mom...
I quit my Engineering job to help Late Spouse...to work as his Admin....taking home SGD2K ...
So now as a Widow and Single parent , I am consider as a low income earner...
My per Capital income is less than SGD700....
So I do not understand why the Executors are making my life so difficult for me...
I know Late Spouse , was bitter that he left this World to soon....
He never fully enjoy his fruits...
After his funeral , I found a Dragonfly at the back of our door...
On his precious Car...
On off there will be a Dragonfly in our living room resting on his favourite chair....
I am sure if Late Spouse had continue to sow Good Seeds..... he would not have left this world so soon.....
I still believe about Fengshui...but I will not take it up anymore....
Now I see life differently, I hope in my next life I can be a tree in a National Park.... :xedfingers: -
concern2:
What? What? Don't keep us in suspense...you didn't take pic?[/quote]
Glad to read this. A few years back, I lang gar my husband’s car in a car park. Yup, car park (so pai she, where got people lang gar in car park, at 20km/h some more!). I was trying to pick up my son’s balloon, lost sight of what’s in front, steer too much to the right and BANG into another car parked nearby. I panicked, not knowing what to do. There was an obvious option – to run away of course. I surveyed the surrounding to make sure there was no witness and no security camera. Guess what I did?Imami:
[quote=\"hquek\"]hi insider,
On the idea of karma catching up with one, share experience. Long time ago, my car was damaged by unknown vehicle in the carpark late at night. Fortunately, damage was only couple of hundred dollars but it still stung (I was parked properly). Fast forward to years down the road. My dad's vehicle was banged by another car....and that owner happened to stay in my block (talk about coincidence). The owner wanted to settle it out of insurance (minor only). I think his wife was trying to settle for lesser payment (FYI, my dad didn't make any money out of it, only asked for what's necessary to cover the repairs). She then told me that she actually saw the vehicle that crashed into my car...and then went all mysterious and refused to say which unit it was.
by that time, the sting of having to bear another person's fault was over and since the wife didn't want to share further, I left it as that. Just thought to myself this IS karma indeed. She knew and she didn't tell (she could have anonymously left a note) - and she HAD to tell me only much later.
sorry sorry, didn't meant to keep anyone in suspense. I was actually typing half way, then my kaki called me for lunch. Because the story never finished, so I cheeky la, end the para with a qn.
Ok, I was saying I noted no witness around, no camera around. So actully I could hv gone free. I droe my car away to the next column of parking lots and thought about it. In the end, I drove back and left a note on the wiper \"call me 12345678\". I decided that I couldn't take the shame if I were to be caught subsequently. I couldn't bare the thought of how my husband and my son would see me... and also, I felt that that car owner really didn't do anything wrong, he shd not have 破财 for nothing.
I drove home and told my husband about it. He was naturally upset and started ruffling his hair (a sign of him being stressed). When that car owner called, I passed the phone to my husband and let the men settled over the phone and the mechanic to go to etc. To me, so long as there is enough money, 钱能解决的问题都不大. The total repair bill came up to $2200+ . Haiz....
Karma or not, I was glad I chose to face the music, instead of running away. -
Insider, do you hv something to share with us about husbands who don’t pay for anything, leaving the wife to support the family? Are these husbands here to 讨债?
Once in a while I hear such stories from the horses’ mouths. The husbands are usually working, with stable income. However, I see a good half who earn more than husbands and the other half earning lesser. -
Dear dolphinsiah,
:hugs: :snuggles: after reading ur post,i am in lost of words.
But pls,be brave n strong. U still hv lovely two children. They'll be ur pillar of supports.
Is it possible if u could sell ur condo n stay in hdb? At least u can save on maintenance,etc.
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