桃花谈

[metz]

A word of caution on driving, besides observing speed limits and other rules & regulations, it is also very important for drivers and all passengers to fasten their seatbelt.


Last year, a Singaporean family with 3 young kids lost their mother in an accident in US on a wet day. No speeding was involved. However, the death could have been avoided had the mother fastened her seatbelt.

http://www.asiaone.com/News/Latest+News/Singapore/Story/A1Story20120101-319392.html

[Imami]

sleepy:

Honestly I was kind of of render speechless by your first & immediate response because you sounded 理直气壮 wor

Imami:

But of cos. Capable of speed doesn't mean one is reckless or unskilled. A reckless or poorly skilled driver who drives fast is foolish. I am neither. You talk like you have seen me drive.

That is because I know what I am doing and what context I am talking about. I felt that without knowing the 来龙去脉, u should not just passed a judgement (and one that was, I felt, Demeaning).

Not going to say anymore, otherwise will invite more hits and may even implicate others.

[insider]

GLORYmum:

Imo, Let us not use 天意 as excuse for any wrongdoings.


Sorry insider I hv loads of great respect for u but can't agree with your argument on speed driving.

We are obliged to be a responsible user of public roads be it local and overseas.

errr...since when I 'argued' for speeding huh? It's definitely wrong in all logical people's minds ('illogical' people aside). BUT we cannot control how other people drive and so if really kena hit by such drivers, then have to refer it as 天意 if not what else?

When my brother sped at 130 km/hr on highway at night, I told him I was scared but he thought he could manage. So, what else was I supposed to do? Get out in the middle of the road or nag him all the way to the airport ('Di ah, dangerous ah. Wait lose control and then we both die and our kiddos so poor thing. Mum will be sad.' bla bla bla)?


Even if he agreed to drive slower because I was scared, this concept needs to be rooted with him else with me, he will not drive fast but without me, he drives his own way again. So, does it serve the ultimate purpose of 'never drive above speed limit' objective. Basically the brain is his and he gotta be responsible for his own actions whether with or without me (with my mum, he sure very kuai and will never drive with that kind of speed). He is a responsible driver so far and so I don't see the real need to 'advise' to 招人厌 when he sped (so far, my experience is twice).

Similar to my friend's KL husband. How to 'advise' him huh? Tell him grandmother story about his family and other road users' plight if he ever loses control? He told us his driving speed is above 150 km/h. That's a 'voluntary' piece of info, more for us to know instead of being criticised... (usually people will share when they know that you will not criticise, else they will withhold info coz what for tell then kena 'nag'? I am overloaded with tons of 'privilege' info about EMA confession, my niece hates her mum, friend who commited crimes, etc. I get to know a lot more than their spouses / family member scoz I dont judge when people confess.)

I hope all can also see the discussion here (a good one) further away from speeding (speeding has been used as a 'seed' for further discussion).

My point is still whether we should dish out our 'kind advice' to someone,esp our kiddos, esp adult kiddos and good friends, who would not listen (not applicable to strangers). <eg of my good friend fell for a married man and how far I should go and advise her to leave that man>

I also didn't say don't report on people throwing killer litter and then if I know about it, still should keep quiet and then let him throw some more and maybe cause someone's injury/death and then classify it as 天意. Pls read from wider angle leh. My kind, if I know of any teacher ill treats children, I will make sure she got blacklisted in MCYS listing and forever cannot teach. No mercy given. I 忌恶如仇. I am a 'fighter' who can lay my life for justice if situation requires (in someone's else eyes, this can be 'stupid' as dont know how to 明哲保身。My kiddos are as courageous as me to stand up for the weak and sometimes, i do wonder whether I should 'tame' them to mind their own business instead of being 'kpo'. But, 顶天立地 is a must to live a meaningful life but such 顶天立地 doesnt include going after someone who will not listen to heed advice）.

So, pls do not think that I condone bad behaviour and then would classify as 天意. 天意 is applicable to things beyond our control. All the preachings of 仁、智、勇 are not lip service...

Emmm...maybe i have to reflect on my writing...maybe they were so bad that I misled people into thinking that I let everything happen without doing anything and then classify them as 天意... (it doesn't make sense mah, that for eg if I know a teacher pinches a child, then think that it's 天意 that the child should kena pinched then keep quiet coz of 天意 .)

[fanren]

Imami:

sleepy:

Honestly I was kind of of render speechless by your first & immediate response because you sounded 理直气壮 wor [quote=\"Imami\"]
But of cos. Capable of speed doesn't mean one is reckless or unskilled. A reckless or poorly skilled driver who drives fast is foolish. I am neither. You talk like you have seen me drive.

That is because I know what I am doing and what context I am talking about. I felt that without knowing the 来龙去脉, u should not just passed a judgement (and one that was, I felt, Demeaning).

Not going to say anymore, otherwise will invite more hits and may even implicate others.[/quote]The first reaction you did was not to clarify that you are driving on overseas road but more to react strongly that you know what you are doing blah blah.This type of reaction normally implies that you are driving on Singapore road and yet think that you are good in driving. If i were you, i will definitely clarify the fact and not lead to misunderstanding. Anyway you participate actively in this thread, shouldn't you help insider to help pple remove their 无明 by explaining with one sentence before defending yourselves. Anyway i read this thread with a pinch of salt, purely for entertainment...so let's not talk about disappointment etc since TS is not a saint, she is just like us...

[SAHM_TAN]

Hi insider,


I have read this thread since it started. So when I read your piece abt speeding, abt when to nag or not to and 天意 I know that you are not condoning the act or that we should not exercise our civic and moral duties when we see something not right or that might cause injuries to others.

[Blessedwife]

ngl2010:

Imami:

Gosh..


Sun, I felt chills down my spine as I read the last part of your post.... Scary.

My car seat incident was felt deeply by me becos I tend to drive fast whenever there is a chance (with or without my son, I drive fast). And with weekends come the chance to step on the accelerator more often than the usual weekdays. But I don't speed excessively, not 150km/hr kind.... No. The car seat is still at home, drying. each time I passed it, I shuddered at what could happen :nailbite:

Scary....

Talking about speed and driving, my little one has great feel about speed. Since we taught him about the rationale of driving slowly on slippery road, he had never failed to remind me to slow down whenever he was in the car with me. The strangest part was - it seemed he could feel how fast we are going. Whenever the speedometer shows more than 50km/hr, he would say,\"mummy slow down, slow down\". As he was sitting at the back, he couldn't have seen the speedometer and we had never told him how to read it. As strange as this is, I can hit 130km/hr on a dry day and he will just keep quiet. :?

\"Becos I tend to drive fast whenever there is a chance (with or without my son I drive fast\"

Those words... Did it not implied that the speeding happened in Singapore ?

[Dreamgear]

Wow looking at all the holier then thou postings coming in, singapore should be the safest place on earth… I suppose everyone here is keeping to 50km/hr on a 50km/hr speed limit and will prevent the DH/DW/brother/sister/ whatever from doing otherwise Irregardless of any circumstances… If not, will immediately get out of the car… If not, then dont come and pre-judge others


Dear Blessedwife, i would like to see you tell the father of the little girl who was killed by the flower pot that dropped from the flat above that her death was exceptional and cannot be compared to accidents caused by speeding cars. Theres no logic in your arguement at all

[GLORYmum]

Blessedwife:

\"Becos I tend to drive fast whenever there is a chance (with or without my son I drive fast\"

Those words... Did it not implied that the speeding happened in Singapore ?

Hi, I don't think imami specifically implies that her speeding happened in sin. But she did imply that she tends to drive fast whenever there is a chance so i will read it she speeds in countries INCLUDING Singapore.

[limlim]

before I began, I just want to clarify that there is no hard feelings and I am not emotional.


However, I may be tactless in the words, so please do not be offended.

insider:

You touched on 'LAW'.

Err...to tell you honestly, I am someone who ALWAYS seems like bending the law and rules coz I feel if everything also want to go according to them, then must wait long long for most things to happen. I 'wriggle' my way through many things to get things done.

I don't drive and so I don't really know what made people driving at 130 km/hr. BUT, it is not uncommon to see my husband and my brother and even my friends sometimes driving at that kind of speed if the road condition 'permits' (midnight on express way). At times I will tell them that I am 'scared' but most will not slow down coz of 'I scared'. They will just brush it off and said something like 'under this kind of road condition, can drive with this kind of speed lah'. In most days, these people drive decently.

So, if i want to take their cars, I learn to shut up coz they are the drivers and not me (similar theory that I never criticise my maid for her cooking coz I can't cook better than her...). If I cannot take it, then I will have to kao-tim myself.

You reacted to the part abt law (in response to my post), does it not create the impression that you condone wilful speeding (illegal) of those drivers in your example?

Next, the main trigger to the various responses.

You do recognise that we are not in imani's car, don't you? You quote a situation which is radically different from what is happening here, which is a public forum open discussion which consist of various road users who are not in imani's car or your relative's car.

If you never intend to deliver the underlying message that \"bystander should shut up\" bcoz they are not the ones driving, then, why are you giving this example of yourself in a car which is not even barely related in any way to the situation we are having here? except the only thing in common which is that we are NOT the drivers in question?

From my poor comprehension in English, I do get the impression that the underlying message is \"bystander should shut up\".

Just clarifying why I made those comments only.. if it is a misunderstanding, let it be water under the bridge....

[Imami]

metz:

A word of caution on driving, besides observing speed limits and other rules & regulations, it is also very important for drivers and all passengers to fasten their seatbelt.


Last year, a Singaporean family with 3 young kids lost their mother in an accident in US on a wet day. No speeding was involved. However, the death could have been avoided had the mother fastened her seatbelt.

http://www.asiaone.com/News/Latest+News/Singapore/Story/A1Story20120101-319392.html

Yes definitely. Which explains why I was grateful for having an opportunity to discover that my son's car seat was not properly secured before any harm come my little one's way. To me, the speed of a moving car is not the most important factor can cause an accident.

I shuddered at the thought of how the car seat might shift from it's original position and caused injury to my son. Speed or no speed, an insecure car seat is still a potential danger to my child.

I have friends who insist on keeping to 60km/hr and still end up causing traffic accidents. To me, it's the driver's judgment and the reaction that matters, not the speed.

Aiya, 无明做怪， 说了不讲还讲 :slapshead: