Living with Depression

[Funz]

Thank you Kiddo.


While most people look forward to the weekends, I am glad to be back at work. DH has taken the day off and is at the golf course now. I have been having dream filled sleep lately. No idea what the dreams were really about but in it, I was screaming at DH and I wake up agitated and at times in tears.

DH seems to be avoiding me since I broached the subject of him seeking counselling. Dunno if he feels rejected by me as I told him I am not equipped to help him overcome his depression.

I know I should talk to him further about counselling. But for now, I am also avoiding that. I dun think I can handle it now.

The saddest thing is I think the tension is rubbing off on the kids. DD woke up all emotional and unhappy this morning. She has also been quieter and withdrawn over the weekend, sticking close to me all the time.

[reddotresident]

Funz:

Thank you Kiddo.


While most people look forward to the weekends, I am glad to be back at work. DH has taken the day off and is at the golf course now. I have been having dream filled sleep lately. No idea what the dreams were really about but in it, I was screaming at DH and I wake up agitated and at times in tears.

DH seems to be avoiding me since I broached the subject of him seeking counselling. Dunno if he feels rejected by me as I told him I am not equipped to help him overcome his depression.

I know I should talk to him further about counselling. But for now, I am also avoiding that. I dun think I can handle it now.

The saddest thing is I think the tension is rubbing off on the kids. DD woke up all emotional and unhappy this morning. She has also been quieter and withdrawn over the weekend, sticking close to me all the time.

[Funz]

reddotresident:

Dear Funz


Just wanted to say, there are friends here at the forum rooting for you and supporting you. I know it does not count for much when you have to deal with it day in and day out but hopefully, you can pour out your fears and agony here and get some strength....

hugs hugs and more hugs from a stay home mother who is going through some very blue times herself...

Thank you reddotresident.

Hope things improve for you.

Penning down my thoughts here does help. As I have written earlier, my sisters and friends don't really understand what I am facing. I guess after close to 10yrs of this cycle, they just treat it as part and parcel of how he is like. I don't want to bore them with the same thing over and over again either. Like wat my older sis said, 10 yrs oredi, everytime oso the same old story, get use to it lah. No point fretting.

[Funz]

Hate to say this but I am back here again.


Anyone here engaged the service of a life coach before? I dunno whether to find a life coach or drag DH to a counsellor. Any recommendations or referrals for either?

If DH still does not want to go for counselling, think I will go. I need it to be able to cope.

[kaitlynangelica]

Funz:

Hate to say this but I am back here again.


Anyone here engaged the service of a life coach before? I dunno whether to find a life coach or drag DH to a counsellor. Any recommendations or referrals for either?

If DH still does not want to go for counselling, think I will go. I need it to be able to cope.

Dear Funz,

Have you ever thought of getting hubby to take some herbal remedies that will help him to calm down? And even for yourself, might be useful? Otherwise if this goes on, you are the one that will need to see a psychaitrist and take med.

[Funz]

kaitlynangelica:

Funz:

Hate to say this but I am back here again.


Anyone here engaged the service of a life coach before? I dunno whether to find a life coach or drag DH to a counsellor. Any recommendations or referrals for either?

If DH still does not want to go for counselling, think I will go. I need it to be able to cope.

Dear Funz,

Have you ever thought of getting hubby to take some herbal remedies that will help him to calm down? And even for yourself, might be useful? Otherwise if this goes on, you are the one that will need to see a psychaitrist and take med.

Herbal remedies, like marijuana?

What do you have in mind?

Admittedly, I am a bit off kilter, emotionally, now. DH was spoiling for a fight last night and I refuse to get sucked in. This morning he left for his trip without saying goodbye to me or the kids. He'll be back only end of this week.

I feel that, 心病需要心药 but hey, I am open to any suggestions that might help.

[autumnbronze]

Hey Funz,


Just chanced upon your post.

BIG :hugs: to ya.

Hope you find a way soon to sort out whats going on in your life right now ....

[Sun_2010]

Funz,


Hang in there.

Have you tried Meditation?
By far this is one thing we need to do irrespective of whether we go for medication/remedies or not.

After all its in the mind. And the only way to pamper it is thru meditation.
The problem with depression is , we tend to be skeptical, and you know in that mood of \"whatever...\"
And we start losing hope, and life is hope isnt it?

For meditaion please check out the thread
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=13983

I will try to post something more there now.

And would it help to know that many of us are swimming in the same boat. :hugs:

[kaitlynangelica]

Funz:

kaitlynangelica:

[quote=\"Funz\"]Hate to say this but I am back here again.


Anyone here engaged the service of a life coach before? I dunno whether to find a life coach or drag DH to a counsellor. Any recommendations or referrals for either?

If DH still does not want to go for counselling, think I will go. I need it to be able to cope.

Dear Funz,

Have you ever thought of getting hubby to take some herbal remedies that will help him to calm down? And even for yourself, might be useful? Otherwise if this goes on, you are the one that will need to see a psychaitrist and take med.

Herbal remedies, like marijuana?

What do you have in mind?

Admittedly, I am a bit off kilter, emotionally, now. DH was spoiling for a fight last night and I refuse to get sucked in. This morning he left for his trip without saying goodbye to me or the kids. He'll be back only end of this week.

I feel that, 心病需要心药 but hey, I am open to any suggestions that might help.[/quote]
I think there is something sold in GNC like St John's Worts or Valerian. These things are supposed to calm and relax the mind.

[Funz]

Thank you all. I was looking back at what I have posted and realised that the cycle has really been twice yearly. The other thing I have noticed was how it has affected my DD. This time again she is very emotional, clingy to the point of sitting outside my toilet each time I go, be it to pee or shower. She has always been a very sensitive and highly intuitive girl who is also very susceptible to external stimuli and I guess she is picking up all the negative vibes. Since DH is away, I bunked with the kids in their room last night and her sleep was very disturbed. She was crying and talking a lot as well in her sleep. It pains me to see her like that.


Sun2010, I use to do yoga and I did drag DH along with me a few times as I find it beneficial to help relieve stress and tension. At the end of the session, there will always be a 10min exercise to clear the mind. We were told to visualise ourselves suspended, be it in water or the sky or in the middle of lush greenery. Then to slowly visualise that with every breath, the tension in use will slowly flow out of our fingertips and toes. Then to feel our muscles from head to toe, bit by bit relaxing and therefter, just focus on our breathing. B4 the yoga teacher can get to the tension flowing out, DH was snoring oredi. Haha. So relaxing that he fell asleep.

I called a couple of counselling centres and life coaches. Got a few dates for possible 1st sessions, but most of the dates are like 3 weeks to a mth away. Life coaches are costly and they may deploy methods like NLP and Hypnotherapy, not sure about these things. Well I guess finding a counsellor or a programme that suits takes time, so I may just push DH to explore both to see which he finds more comfortable and since this is such a personal thing, the rapport/connection with the counsellor or life coach himself/herself is important.

Thing is, I think that things have reached a point where we need intervention, we are no longer able to work things through on our own.