称呼 / Addressing

[outsider]

I’ve been a ah yi since I was in my mum’s tummy. My sis and my mum were both pregnant at the same time. I grew up playing with my niece. She has a elder brother. When she was younger, she addressed me by name. Only recently she started to greet me as ah yi. I felt awkward le…

[tree nymph]

jedamum:

barney:

I think this is a good culture and tradition to keep. I came from a big family and we make sure all our kids address us in chinese with the proper 称呼 instead of just aunties and uncles and I'll insist that my girl address all her cousins with their names followed by jie jie or kor kor, since she's the youngest among the lot.


Actually I need to check with parents here if they know how should my grand nephew (my brother's grandson) address my gal? We have a discussion on this among ourselves but have no conclusion.

i call my dad's sis' son as biao ge....meaning your bro's kid call your gal as biao jie.
so if your bro's grandson call his mother's sis as ah yi, then is there such a thing as biao yi to differentiate the relationship???

yes. your biao ge's kid's will call you biao gu. this is like how your brother's kids will call you except your biao ge is not under your own direct family tree. For two brothers, their kids will call the brothers shu shu and bo bo. the kids are tang ge and tang di and tang jie. so tang ge's kids will call the tang jie - tang gu, tang di - tang shu.

jedamum:

edit : just read someone said it should be biao gu. what's the diff between biao gu and biao yi? or is there a former?

yes, there's a difference. biao gu is for brother's side whereas biao yi is for sister's side. so as long as sisters - they will also be ah yi. but there's is NO tang yi. only biao yi.

jedamum:

edit again : ie if the bro's grandson mum/dad is the dd of bro or ds of bro makes a difference in the cheng hu leh.

yes. as explained above, between two 1st generation brothers and 1st generation brother/sister and even 1st generation sisters, the cheng hu will be different.

[tree nymph]

hi outsider,

me too, except i’m a biao gu - my biao waishennu is 5 years older then me. I came from a big family. My grandma has 8 kids and my mum is #5. then my da yi and er yi and da jiu married young and they have 7-8 kids each too. So my beifen is very big from my mum’s side. whereas for my dad side, we are quite equal, their ages are quite close. Then my hb’s father side, our beifen is very small, cos my FIL is the 1st child - and he has 12 siblings! so my hb has very very young cousins, i think the youngest cousin is just 2 years older then my #1, whom he has to address my hb’s cousin as tang gu…

[kiasimom]

Hi tree nymph,


:udawoman:

You have the make to be a GEPer

[tree nymph]

kiasimom,

i got a lot of training since young....

:celebrate:

[kwk9060]

I came from a big family too, my father is about the same age as his eldest sister’s children. I become a biaogu/biaoyi when I was less than 10 years old, and later become biaoyipo when I was less that 30 years old. My family have not problem with all the different chenghu.


But DH’s side is totally different, all the siblings address each other by names, even my mil’s generation also address her siblings by names, so all mixed up and confused…imagine my surprise when I first heard DH’s biaoge’s children addressing him as XX jiu jiu!!!

[barney]

tree nymph:

Hi Barney and kiasimom,

Your brother's grandson have to call you gupo, and have to address your daughters as gugu or biao-gu and if you have sons, as shushu or biao shu. gugu/shushu cos it has to follow your chenghu (title - is this case its GUpo - that you are at paternal side). whereas if you are in the maternal side, then it will be ah yi and jiu jiu, yi-po and jiu-gong.

After reading all the posts here, I'm totally lost on the piao and tang 称呼. Although my own family is big, my dad only has a brother and all his children are in china, hence my association with cousins very limited, same for my mum's side.

So is it if we share the same surnames, it'll be tang and different surnames will be piao? How do we differentiate the gu gu and ah yi that follow? Eg piao gu/piao yi vs tang gu/tang yi (or is there such a 称呼 at all?)

[tree nymph]

barney:

After reading all the posts here, I'm totally lost on the piao and tang 称呼. Although my own family is big, my dad only has a brother and all his children are in china, hence my association with cousins very limited, same for my mum's side.


So is it if we share the same surnames, it'll be tang and different surnames will be piao? How do we differentiate the gu gu and ah yi that follow? Eg piao gu/piao yi vs tang gu/tang yi (or is there such a 称呼 at all?)

Hi Barney,
there's no tang yi - so long as its sisters or between female cousins, always yi - just biao yi if she is from another family tree (like from 1st generation's siblings) and ah yi if from the same family tree.

whereas gugu- there is biao gu and tang gu, biao shu and tang shu. usually with brother/sister 1st generation combination - it's usually biao gu/biao shu, whereas for brother/brother 1st generation combination, usually tang gu/tang shu.

[MLR]

This is a topic thats very close to my heart. I grew up in a very traditional family, where we were taught the proper addressing as far back as we can remember. By the proper addressing, any outsider who is \"educated\" in the proper addressing would know how u are related to one another. My sis and bro still call me 姐, I address them by their nicks, as from young.


Being in a mixed marriage and trying to instill this to DS hasn't been an easy job. DH background is where everyone is a cousin if they are not your immediate aunt/uncle that are your parents'/grandparents' siblings. Nieces and nephews are just those of your own siblings. Your cousins' children are also cousins, very confusing for me. It doesn't help that he has seven siblings of his own as well as his parents each has/had around 7 to 10 siblings. In order to keep tab, they have a family website that keep track of the family tree.

In English, theres no equivalent of 表，堂，叔,伯，姑,姨. So I guess everyone ends up just being cousins. 没大没小, as my parents and relatives would say. But thats how it is in their culture, so I had to explain to my parents and relatives about this.

After 10 yrs, DH has only been able to address my extended family members properly in the recent 3 yrs, after DS was born. I guess hving DS has brought him alot closer to my family. On my part, I do my best by hving DS calling his family every week. This X'mas would be a test of DS being able to remember his cousins on DH's side of the family, and I guess my ability to translate his family tree to DS too. Hope I pass with flying colours :lol:

[Oppsgal]

:?


So many \"names\" to remember for my child. Why can't we just stick to calling auntie and uncles? Seems very confusing. Even I am confused. What does you call the cousin of mother's side for chinese?