@sharonkhoo -I remained single through my late 40s, until I met my wife at 47 and we married when I was 48. The decision was influenced by practical circumstances—her student visa was expiring and she would have had to return to China. At that time, it felt more like a marriage of convenience for both of us rather than one rooted in certainty about love.
For me, it was an opportunity to finally find a partner and start a family. For her, it was a chance to remain in Singapore. After our marriage, the honeymoon period was short-lived, and soon our true personalities began to surface. We often disagreed, and I initially thought our 20-year age gap was the main cause. The negative perceptions of Chinese spouses in the 2000s added to the strain. Raising our first son soon after marriage was especially challenging, as our approaches to parenting—shaped by Singaporean and Chinese cultural differences—were quite different.
After struggling for about two years, I came to realize that the real obstacle was not age but the differences in culture and beliefs. Fortunately, through honest conversations and mutual acceptance, we learned to respect these differences. Things improved, and we welcomed our second son. To this day, we remind each other to consider our cultural backgrounds and upbringing before judging each other’s actions or behavior.
Our relationship has grown stronger over time. While disagreements still occur, they are manageable. Even after nearly 20 years together, we are still discovering new aspects of each other, and that journey continues to shape our bond.
