Club 3 or more Kids

[hpliew]

Hi


I didn’t realize so many people have so many children as I do too. I have 4 so I am very careful about budget, food and shelter most important! The rest will come later… They go to school, never had tuition but results are dropping and managing 4 is a huge task for a super multi-tasker, I hope I can manage them better. Sigh, it’s school, school, school, results, results, so I had no choice, I thought perhaps later in the years but now p3 have to for tuition already! But luckily, I found a good one who can HELP otherwise waste money trying!!!

Still, we want to plan for travelling, poor kids, seldom travel always stuck in the 4 corners! Any place to recommend or do for a family trip? Never mind, never give up! They are our happiness! Keep smiling everyone!

[straffan23]

BT1983: I suddenly stumbled upon this thread… I understand what you mean. I am in a similar crossroad now - I have 2 and another one due soon, also an FTWM. And my second one was left with the maid most of the time too - and he is often neglected, otherwise spoilt, and it shows a lot in his personality and development. Luckily, he started going to playgroup at about 2yrs old, and now he is in full-day nursery. The difference is stark!


My eldest one will be starting P1 next year. My plan is to make some adjustments at work, to either work from 7:30am to 4:30pm, or find a part time job. Of course, I know there will be a big cut in terms of $$ for the latter… but to me, since I have chosen to have the children (so many!) they are my responsibility. I do not want to have another "maid’s baby"… It is not easy, and I intend to use my maternity leave to do job hunting! In fact, I have started letting out hints that I will be looking for new job/portfolio/workhours in 2014. … Good luck!

[kspassing]

Hello, newbie here. I’m a SAHM w/o maid with a DS1 (almost 13), DD2 (12 in Nov) and DD3 (9 in Nov). We drive a 7-seater, tuition only for DD2 in science, but enrichment class for DD3 CL. Otherwise, no tuition.


All three kids have special needs - DS1 is mild autism (aspergers), DD2 has dyslexia and DD3 has sensory processing disorder, not sure if she is on the spectrum or not, although she is quite similar to korkor except that her academics is very strong.

I bring in a part time cleaner once a week to help with cleaning. Mom comes in 3 times a week to cook dinner. The kids are very very busy with dance, therapy, intervention classes (dyslexia) as well as CCA and enrichment classes. DS takes Art because he seems to be quite inclined in that area. Both DS1 and DD2 are exempted CL, only baby still taking CL. She is also the only one learning piano as well.

I don’t really coach them very closely for academics. I like to train independence and skills like time management and discipline in my kids. So they keep to my criteria of making sure all hw is done from everywhere then I leave them alone to play otherwise. So far so good. DS1 academic not very strong, but he is quite disciplined and don’t give me any trouble. Teachers generally like him a lot. DD2 EL very terok… I am hoping she will pass… but her weaknesses are due to dyslexia, so can just hope that she will overcome it over time. DD3 is the strongest academically - her struggles are mostly social and emotional…although even those have improved with therapy.

So as you can imagine, my life is very busy… haha… peng san. But it is good… i love being involved in the schools and in their lives… so can keep track of friends and their development. Last time as teacher, day in day out run after other people’s children, no time for my own. When DS entered p1, I quit. So happy that i did, because otherwise, their difficulties would have gone un-noticed… also won’t have time to take them for all their therapy etc, which is usually office hours.

[himmel]

I have 3 kids too and they are all in childcare. No maid but in elderly in laws stay nearby to help. For mothers who are or intend to be SAHM, does your husband support your decision? It’ll be tough to be living to one single income and at the same supporting 2 sets of parents. Does that mean you won’t have much savings?

[kspassing]

Yes, definitely decision to stay home supported by husband. We are glad we did it. It has paid off tremendously because we have been able to raise the children the way we want without it being affected by grandparents and so on. Now that they are older and more mature, we see the results of our hard work… they are loved and acknowledged by their teachers for their leadership and exemplary conduct… given character awards and so on… so we are glad we are able to have me stay home to nurture them. Yes, savings dip low on some months, but we keep expenditure down where possible. We don’t travel much, and we try to stay within our budget. On months where there are lower expenditure I put aside what I would normally pay monthly (example school bus on the "off" months, or term fees which I break down to monthly and put aside) as savings or to accumulate for the term fees that require payment in one large block. That helps to make the payments not so "siong"

[ruigal]

Hi all,


I am a FT working mum with 3 kids; 1,4,6 with a stay in helper. When I was expecting my 3rd child last year, it was trying as work involved travelling. Given the high living expenses in Singapore, being a SAHM was not an option at all. When I was looking for a new job, being a FTWM with 3 kids especially all under 7 was an uphill task by itself.

I was sidelined many times during interviews when being compared with singles or married women with no kids as they do not have "baggages" at home and are perceived to be able to devote more time to the company.

Companies in Singapore are still very dated in their perception and approach towards hiring of working mothers and most would think that we are having a 3rd child either unplanned or for the meagre baby bonus!

I have no help from MIL or my own mum and I rely on full day childcare, my live in maid and flexible working hours from my new company. It helps that my husband’s work hours are fairly flexible but planning and coordination is key in our house as we both travel overseas for work.

We do not send our kids for any tuition or enrichment classes - we spend all our leisure time- cooking, swimming etc interacting with the kids.

As a result of that, we do not have time to meet up with friends, we hardly do any holidays, forget about exercise - absolutely no time for it.

We have a 7 seater MPV while fits us well as all 3 kids are in baby seats plus a helper.
But no room for anything else after we fit in 2 strollers in the boot.

ruigal

[kiasumotherlucy]

I think its not so tough as what your mentioned but no matter what there’s definitely some sacrifices needed to be made. I have 3 kids as well, but I am still working full time, I am actually quite lucky that my mother in law is helping to look after my youngest haha… My eldest one is a bit harder to control though…the only challenges I have is to monitor their school work but again I think I rather lucky to find a really delicated tutor after changing many tutors… I think its quite impt for them to have a good tutor cum mentor as my mother in law cant teach them at all…

[buds]

Today, at the polyclinic where I had to take my dragon_boi for his immunisation… there was a family of 5 and just behind where we were seated was a lady with her 9th child! A very beautiful baby girl.

[Triple Js]

buds:

a lady with her 9th child! A very beautiful baby girl.

:salute: :salute:

[Triple Js]

mine are 12, 10, 6.. all female species..