In-law problems?

[buds]

While there is such a thing as retribution,

i find it wrong to wish for it for someone..
You see, despite the downside in my life
thus far... i try to look at things positively
though it can sometimes be extremely
hard to do so.

She is after all my husband's mother and
without her i wouldn't have had a husband
nor would i have my two beautiful girls that
i love to death.

All i wish for is some peace of mind and the
calmness of heart and soul to live the rest
of what's left of my life..

The irony of this MIL of mine is that what i
went through with her is what she went
through with her own MIL... during the old
lady's living years. She claimed to be the
dutiful and filial DIL those years... and also
what she shared with me was endorsed by
my husband. My husband agreed that she
was somehow misjudged... mistreated...
and always misunderstood...

The thing is, i dunno that it justifies her taking
it out on me in real time. Cos since day one
entering this marriage she has never given
me the impression that she liked having me
around or liked the idea that her son was
married to me and still is..

I come to this thread to just rant out my thoughts
and hope to lighten the bane of it by bitching abt
it.. i never fail to have tears pouring down my face
each time i come here to pen my insides out.. esp
since my husband doesn't like me telling people
stuff.. esp stuff that are old news.. suffice to say
he dislikes me coming into this thread with
same-o same-o yada yada yada stories..
I mean it is his mom i know.. buttttt....
i..... sigh....

I dun go out much to shop or go gallivanting and
in short spend that much time outside the house,
nor go around telling real people about my real
hardships xept the few very very close friends
and my daddie.. being only human, i'm just
stressed.

It's not that i bear a grudge against her.. it's not tt
i like bitching about her.. all i ever did was be nice to
her.. even when she wasn't nice to me.. though my
husband has never once stood up for me.. i voice
out and stand up for myself when i find it too much
to bear.. those are also the instances i was labelled
rude and a talk-backer... With an old folk, how much
can i or should i reali push.. so all i can do IS \"ren\"...

It's just a matter of ren-duo-jio.. (ren for how long...)

That, my friend... i am counting on my faith and my
spiritual strength to pave the way..

For all the listening ears to share my sadness.. and
heartache.. that's all of you out there who have stood
by me and your emotional support even via a forum chat,
is so heartfelt, i'm touched to bits. I will need all the strength
i can; to move on with my life. Without having to bear the aches
of the past on my own... Thank you is never enuf.. God bless.

[schweppes]

Hi Buds... I can't help but tear a little reading your sharing. Nothing to add.


Just this... :hugs: :hugs:

[millan]

buds:

While there is such a thing as retribution,

i find it wrong to wish for it for someone..
You see, despite the downside in my life
thus far... i try to look at things positively
though it can sometimes be extremely
hard to do so.

She is after all my husband's mother and
without her i wouldn't have had a husband
nor would i have my two beautiful girls that
i love to death.

All i wish for is some peace of mind and the
calmness of heart and soul to live the rest
of what's left of my life..

The irony of this MIL of mine is that what i
went through with her is what she went
through with her own MIL... during the old
lady's living years. She claimed to be the
dutiful and filial DIL those years... and also
what she shared with me was endorsed by
my husband. My husband agreed that she
was somehow misjudged... mistreated...
and always misunderstood...

The thing is, i dunno that it justifies her taking
it out on me in real time. Cos since day one
entering this marriage she has never given
me the impression that she liked having me
around or liked the idea that her son was
married to me and still is..

I come to this thread to just rant out my thoughts
and hope to lighten the bane of it by bitching abt
it.. i never fail to have tears pouring down my face
each time i come here to pen my insides out.. esp
since my husband doesn't like me telling people
stuff.. esp stuff that are old news.. suffice to say
he dislikes me coming into this thread with
same-o same-o yada yada yada stories..
I mean it is his mom i know.. buttttt....
i..... sigh....

I dun go out much to shop or go gallivanting and
in short spend that much time outside the house,
nor go around telling real people about my real
hardships xept the few very very close friends
and my daddie.. being only human, i'm just
stressed.

It's not that i bear a grudge against her.. it's not tt
i like bitching about her.. all i ever did was be nice to
her.. even when she wasn't nice to me.. though my
husband has never once stood up for me.. i voice
out and stand up for myself when i find it too much
to bear.. those are also the instances i was labelled
rude and a talk-backer... With an old folk, how much
can i or should i reali push.. so all i can do IS \"ren\"...

It's just a matter of ren-duo-jio.. (ren for how long...)

That, my friend... i am counting on my faith and my
spiritual strength to pave the way..

For all the listening ears to share my sadness.. and
heartache.. that's all of you out there who have stood
by me and your emotional support even via a forum chat,
is so heartfelt, i'm touched to bits. I will need all the strength
i can; to move on with my life. Without having to bear the aches
of the past on my own... Thank you is never enuf.. God bless.

It is not that I wld like to curse anyone, but there is feng shui lun liu zhuan..

What I mean is that your ren may utlimately turn out to be good in other kind of aspects, so..just hang on...

Lots of pple will be with you:)

[foreverj]

hi buds, think it's good u have an outlet to share and perhaps also to encourage the many mummies (or daddies) here that what they r suffering may not be as bad n hence more tolerable. in a way, pray that whoever reads the postings here keep the sharing confidential...


stay strong dear :love:

[shine_fs]

Before married, I told my hubby, I can't stay with his parents. Cos we(me & his family) will never get along

winth:

Hi,

Anyone facing in-law issues? Can share personal experience?

DH said I'm considered quite lucky as he has heard very cham (pitiful) stories from his colleagues.

But from my girlfriends, they seem to be having a breeze and upperhand when they handle in-laws leh...

But one thing I know I'm very lucky is that I don't stay with them, bec if I had, maybe I had already :stupid: liao.

[buds]

foreverj:

stay strong dear :love:

I'm sure there will come a time when hubs may just
ban me from coming to KSP entirely because of these
outlets i can use here to vent my frustrations and pour
out my heart. I'm trying foreverj... trying to stay strong
for my dear life and the lives of my two gifts from God in
the form of my beautiful girls...

[buds]

schweppes:

Hi Buds... I can't help but tear a little reading your sharing. Nothing to add.


Just this... :hugs: :hugs:

Thank you, schweppes. :hugs:
I appreciate it. I sure could use
as many hugs as i can get.. albeit
virtual ones. I always tear
when i write here, even though i
thought all the wells have dried..
Just can't help it la i guess..

[hquek]

hi buds,


Not being a voyeur or anything, but I feel it’s good to find someone to vent out your frustrations lah. Better it be out, then kena ‘nei shang’. Not very good for health leh.

hug**hug

[buds]

Find someone?

[jogan]

Bud, I understand your feelings cos I gone through it. I thought getting marry can have my own family or my own house, however I fell in love with my hubby who owns his house and I have to stay with MIL. That time we were at the verge of either we break up or live with my MIL… it seem to have no choice cos I truely love him. He said that he will stand by me, sounds like it… I choose to stick with him; thought having such a filial man means having a faithful man…


After married in, MIL had tried all means to make things very difficult such as I couldnt find a right spot to hang my panty, little things also made things difficult buying vase to display on table. FYI we are not even holding a master bedroom… Nobody do household chores even with my sis-in-law, I become a maid to clean up the house after my job. Frustration… Anger… whatmore… always quarrel… crying silently… sigh… is this what we called marriage… doubts… a quite a period… loves make me endure through.

Everytime go home and cry to mum, what can she say. Only words of encouragement and give me a ‘ren’ word to bring home. Until one fine day, I scream at my MIL and brought my newborn daughter and drove my car. I just want to died, sucide thought painted vividly and that’s it! Nobody really there… but my girl is only few months old, I cant do that. I will be a murderer in ST. I tell you what … now think back it is very silly to do that.

Finally today or I should say a year ago, I become more mature and know how to handle such ‘politic’ at home. Probably much better… To that extend, I can ‘scold’ in gentle manner at my MIL. We know how to care and show loves to each other. Actually the old folk scared that we ‘snatch’ their son away from us.

Currently she is in the hospital ICU, the thought of losing her. What’s there to ‘ren’ or angry with each other. Sigh… how long can they live? As a DIL, probably try our best in all efforts, what if we just lost her anytime, what if we have a feeling that we din do our best? Feeling of regret? Now I pray that she will recover… She will get well… the past already past on what she had done… May God be with her and help her to pull through.