All About Full-Time Maids

[vividlaurel]

Tamama:

I found no problem at all to allow my helpers (current one and previous one) to have wifi access. They just use it to chat with relatives and kids at their home town at night after they finished the daily work.
Personally I don't mind if my helper sometimes go into her room to take a look on her smart phone or check email whatever. She is still very good to keep up her work. So I don't need to say anything.
I understand sometimes when we provide privilege to our helpers and they are spoiled and start to rot. This can happen. So see how you think. For me, I am firm but not strict, accepting but not loose, flexible but not careless, approachable but not very closed, and more importantly, I respect her and I need her to respect me. I teach my kids to respect her as well.
Hope the info helps.

Thanks Tamama, I like your approach, will use that!

[vividlaurel]

Hi chickaboon888,


Yes, the request did come from my kids, but she also did mention that her friend asked her to check with her madam (aka me) for internet.

I think I'll just keep quiet for the moment and see if she does ask again. If she does, then yes, will have to put ground rules in place.

I guess if she abuses this privilege, then we can quietly change the password.... but then once you've tasted all that free internet access can give you, it'll be difficult to stop...

Hopefully, she does not ask me again and the phone stays back in her home when she goes on leave next week!

chickaboom8888:

Does she ask for Wi-Fi access( seems like your children is the one who ask for it)? If she does not, then do nothing.

If she does, then it is better for you to set the ground rule. Once you grant the privilege, it is v difficult to turn back if she abuses it. Internet can be addictive as one can surf non-stop mindlessly, and wifi-access is virtually free. You have to decide depending she is the self-discipline type.

[gumiho]

I am in a dilemma. :scratchhead:


My current helper (filipino) is a monster in disguise and it is a relieve for us that she is leaving us to Hong Kong at the end of the month. I had wrote a testimonial for her. I will definitely submit a copy to MOM but is hesitating whether to submit it also to HK Immigration ? My intention was to make known to her future employer of her outrageous behaviour and hoping her future employer won't ended up as a victim like us. Do you think this is necessary ?

[vividlaurel]

Hi gumiho,


My experience is 'no use'! My last helper was also horrible and she started accusing me of hurting her when i asked her to leave. That day was horrible for me, so much that I called the police just to save my back!

I wrote to MOM about the whole situation, telling them not to let her go to another family, but no use - they never even bothered to reply to my email. I followed up a couple of times and then gave up.

gumiho:

I am in a dilemma. :scratchhead:

My current helper (filipino) is a monster in disguise and it is a relieve for us that she is leaving us to Hong Kong at the end of the month. I had wrote a testimonial for her. I will definitely submit a copy to MOM but is hesitating whether to submit it also to HK Immigration ? My intention was to make known to her future employer of her outrageous behaviour and hoping her future employer won't ended up as a victim like us. Do you think this is necessary ?

[clioclio]

My Filipino helper has been with my close to 1 year and 7 months. She has been the best in the maids i have had so far. She started her stint here very diligent and hardworking, and even won over my ‘hard to please’ MIL.


As many pro-human rights, pro-maid welfare supporters out there said, maids are human too. So, about 4 months into her job, I asked her up front if she would prefer to have a hp. She was v happy, of course she said yes. We laid down the ground rules–only one phone at any one time, phone to be placed in the living room during working hours (8am-8pm).

Last month, we were outside and i happened to catch her red handed using another phone. Upon questioning she confessed that it belonged to her. I was v upset, and reminded her ground rules–only one phone at any one time. SHe apologised, and said she will mail back her old phone to Philippines. I brought her to ship it home and witnessed it being sealed up. For the next few weeks after tt, she appeared sincere and worked v hard.

Then, this month lots of things happened. I also found a note in her wallet, where she pledged her undying love to a man. I did a Facebook check and realised to my horror that that very man was a Bangla worker who had worked in our condo when we just moved in. I did not mention or confront her, and let it be. After all, maids are entitled to their private life on their off days right!

Then past few weeks i had been at home the whole day. I guess she is not used to the fact that she no longer has complete freedom in the morning (coz if i had been at work, the whole house would be empty since the kids r all in sch). I was hospitalised for some emergency surgery, and my husband was rushing home to help pack stuff, he found her yakking on Yet another illegal phone. He told her to tell me once i am discharged and better. Then, when I came home, she said nothing. Then my son got sick. We decided to drive him to the clinic for a check…little did i realise my mum was on her way so in the end, it was decided tt my Hubby will go home while my mum and me brought my son tothe clinic instead.
When hubby reached home (within 10 min of us leaving), he realised the maid was NOT AT HOME. She even left my 6 yr old daughter (who had no school that day) alone at home!

WHen maid returned, she burst into tears and wailed she is so sorry etc…she can’t work because her son in the PHilippines is being ill treated by new step mother etc… she can’t concentrate so she went to buy Phone card to call home etc…
Thankfully my eldest is still quite blur blur, she was watching TV the whole time …BUT STILL!

My husband gave her a scolding but he did not want to make a scene coz the maid was wailing, so he told her that she has to tell me her self. It has been 2 days and still my maid is not saying anything to me. Between maid and me, she is carrying on as if I know nothing. Seriously is she so silly to think my husband has not told me anything?

Should i let her go?>
She’s only left 5 months. BUT super angry.

[Tamama]

Talk to her and understand more first. Then you can know what to do.

Keep calm. Better to have your hubby together.
For me I think the leaving young child home alone is a super big mistake. I tend to terminate her immediately. See if you want to give her chance…

[POA Teacher]

Tamama:

Talk to her and understand more first. Then you can know what to do.

Keep calm. Better to have your hubby together.
For me I think the leaving young child home alone is a super big mistake. I tend to terminate her immediately. See if you want to give her chance...

Agree with Tamama.
If a maid is not very hardworking, that is tolerable.
If maid has boyfriend, none of our business as long as she does not let the relationship affect employer's family and home eg. cannot bring him into the home.
But, when the maid endangers any family member, I say: terminate her services.

[isetan]

To me, when a maid went into a relationship, lots of things will follow. They will be lots of lies and excuses. I am not against any relationship, afterall they are still human but not into a relationship within the contract period. In your case, There won’t be any trust more from now on, let be it with 5 months to go. My take is, lets carefully go and select another new maid and terminate immediately when new maid arrives.

[clioclio]

she just came to ‘confess’. basically, she just confessed she had another phone. with tears in her eyes she told me that she was panicking because her bff told her tt her son seemed to be ill treated by new stepmother in philippines and she cannot concentrate. cannot get thru to her son because the father always make alot of excuses etc. She did not tell me that she left my daughter behind to buy phone card. Only when I asked her, did she admit.

[isetan]

Clioclio, your situation is a bit tricky. But if you ask me, I will believe half of the story. I have employed abt 8 maids for the past 15 years, more often than not, they will create a lot of stories that is so real that you have to give in and believe them. So lay down ground rules firmly. Be prepared to terminate if you can’t tahan anymore.