How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you?
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Not only hao lian… 狗眼看人低 as well… sigh
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It is unfortunate that relatives are like that. I thought they should be encouraging to your kids… so sad.
I remember my aunties were like that to my mum as well. My mum also worked full-time while all my 6 aunties were SAHM. They used to criticize everything, including things like our clothes were not clean, didn’t wash properly, etc.
Unfortunately for them, my mum’s kids all did better academically, financially, and also married better. Nowadays, they are silent, and will consult us on stuff as well. They now start to fight amongst themselves and my mum just keeps herself out of the picture.
Tutormum, work on your kids, they will 出人头地。The one who laughs last laughs best. I’m sure you will get there. Persevere! -
2ppaamm:
Yeah 老天有眼! So just chart your course accordingly.....
Tutormum, work on your kids, they will 出人头地。The one who laughs last laughs best. I'm sure you will get there. Persevere! -
mitten:
Yah...maybe this kind of people enjoy making one feel \"small\"..so don't show any of your annoyance or irritations...I will act \"as if\" the news is no big deal or pretend I didn't get it or just laugh and make some jokes out of it...The other party probably feel frustrated due to my non-reaction!How do I react to those \"hao lian\" people? Well, with friends or relatives like these, I usually excused myself with a smile so that I could get out of their \"shallow talk-shows\"
In my opinion, these people are usually lack of self-confidence (therefore needed to boast their egoes), shallow (no wisdom), poor in those areas which they choose to \"hao lian\" and they are helpless. why? 'cos when they can grab anything to fill up their helpless, they are couldn't wait to tell the whole world on what they have or proub of. Basically, these people who are lack of self-confidence, self-esteem etc.
\"Hao Lian\" people can be anyone from poor to very rich people as long as they have areas of helplessness. -
To be honest, at times I also become "hao lian". What do I do? Well, usually before I display my "hao lian" act, there was a " hao lian" thought in my mind. When I realised that, I quickly swift my thought to "humble" and thus the "hao lian" act was not displayed. Anyway we do have many choices to react to these "hao lian" people, so don’t fret! I don even want to talk about my SIL. I have 2 to be precise. anyway, they are dumb and nothing good about them.
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ks2me:
Thanks to both of you for your encouragement. :hugs: I actually feel sad for my SILs cos their children are brought up in such a way that they emulate their parents' actions.
Yeah 老天有眼! So just chart your course accordingly.....2ppaamm:
Tutormum, work on your kids, they will 出人头地。The one who laughs last laughs best. I'm sure you will get there. Persevere!
Their children are very self-centred and arrogant. I'm saying this cos I've seen how the children behave towards their parents. Despite the fact that DH bro's business was doing bad, their children expect the same standard of living they have enjoyed before and are bitter that they have downgraded to staying in HDB flats and done away with certain luxuries. Their children are aloof towards them and treat them as ATM. I can see my SILs are envy that our family is close knitted and contented. On top of that, they have placed a lot of emphasis on their children getting into university but are now faced with worries about them getting a job and surviving in the corporate world. 
I'm not belittling the importance of a degree just cos my DS1 and DS2 did not enter U (they may later on in life) but I don't assent to their belief that's the only route to success. In fact, my SILs are lamenting that the prospect of their children earning big bucks is bleak though they are armed with a degree. :roll: On the other hand, I have never once worried about how much my three DS will make in the future. :lol:
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Sometimes grandparents may unknowingly add on to the tension especially if they have grandchildren close in age group. During preschool years, grandparents compare grandchildren's development milestones. During formal school years, grandparents compare grandchildren's grades. The more outstanding family may be perceived to be 'hou lian' if other families keep hearing about their achievements. In instances like this, better tone down or filter what to tell grandparents
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Was at Victoria Street to buy some CNY stuff last Sat.
A young couple ordered a few packets of Shitake mushrooms.
The chap (Andrew, from the shop) was sorting n packing for this couple.
I was in the queue.
In came this lady who said within earshot of everyone in the vicinity.
\"Hey, Andrew, sharks fins, Tina\"
Andrew looked at her, didn't seemed to register and continued with sorting n packing.
Tina: \"Andrew, busy? I come by tmr? 6 kg, big ones?\"
Guess what?
Andrew dropped what he was doing,
went to the freezer and took out the sharks fins to showed her.
And the couple was like Huh??!!
Haiz...money talks.
She didn't sound arrogant, but Tina sure knows which button to press.
I found it amusing... :lol:
If only she had pressed my button
unpredictable.....
it could explode in her face! -
Way2GO:
I don't blame Tina. I blame Andrew! What an idgit! Let her cut queue like that! Everybody should just walk out of the shop. If it weren't for CNY, haiz!!Was at Victoria Street to buy some CNY stuff last Sat.
A young couple ordered a few packets of Shitake mushrooms.
The chap (Andrew, from the shop) was sorting n packing for this couple.
I was in the queue.
In came this lady who said within earshot of everyone in the vicinity.
\"Hey, Andrew, sharks fins, Tina\"
Andrew looked at her, didn't seemed to register and continued with sorting n packing.
Tina: \"Andrew, busy? I come by tmr? 6 kg, big ones?\"
Guess what?
Andrew dropped what he was doing,
went to the freezer and took out the sharks fins to showed her.
And the couple was like Huh??!!
Haiz...money talks.
She didn't sound arrogant, but Tina sure knows which button to press.
I found it amusing... :lol:
If only she had pressed my button
unpredictable.....
it could explode in her face!
Some time ago, I was buying mee pok from this stall at Lau Pasat. This cheesy, aging, TV actor - I dunno name cos we don't watch TV, but I remember him from when I used to watch TV - sailed up and announced his order flashing a big, fake smile. The aunty immediately GAVE HIM MY ORDER, FOC some more!!
I was fuming cos I had waited in the long queue. Anyway, never bought from the stall again. :x :x :x -
Blobbi:
I don't blame Tina. I blame Andrew! What an idgit! Let her cut queue like that! Everybody should just walk out of the shop. If it weren't for CNY, haiz!!
Some time ago, I was buying mee pok from this stall at Lau Pasat. This cheesy, aging, TV actor - I dunno name cos we don't watch TV, but I remember him from when I used to watch TV - sailed up and announced his order flashing a big, fake smile. The aunty immediately GAVE HIM MY ORDER, FOC some more!!
I was fuming cos I had waited in the long queue. Anyway, never bought from the stall again. :x :x :x
If it was me, I would politely tell them off. This TV actor would have to save his face and apologies.
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