My son says i dont love him

[KoalaMummy]

heyhoe:

Yesterday, ds1 said he's never ever going to talk to me again! He makes me so upset....

Dh said I'm too soft with the boys and they take advantage of me. :?: what should i do?

hihi, so sorry this episode happened to you. :hugs:

DH also said that to me. Guess it's the 'mother thing'. I feel i can't help it cos i'm like that. but i try (my best) to be a bit tough at times when i need to. :nunchuk:

btw, how old is your ds?

[heyhoe]

KoalaMummy:

heyhoe:

Yesterday, ds1 said he's never ever going to talk to me again! He makes me so upset....

Dh said I'm too soft with the boys and they take advantage of me. :?: what should i do?

hihi, so sorry this episode happened to you. :hugs:

DH also said that to me. Guess it's the 'mother thing'. I feel i can't help it cos i'm like that. but i try (my best) to be a bit tough at times when i need to. :nunchuk:

btw, how old is your ds?

Thanks, KoalaMummy. He's coming 8 this year.

[toddles]

Interesting… I guess I’m not at that stage yet, but I had expected that it would be the other way around…


since i have so many albums of photos of DD, and scrapbooks, and detailed journalling about her growing up… have a strong feeling that all this won’t be replicated for future kids!

but i guess as they grow older, the older ones tend to feel neglected…

[adhdadhd]

Hello KoalaMummy,


Don’t worry, he use don’t love, and not hate. Implication is you don’t love him as much.

Try 8 seconds hug, suggest you hug all of them together, they will enjoy it and feel fair. Kids are sensitive to touch (especially direct bodily touch).

You must improve his feeling before the age of 14, after that character is casted and take a big event to change.

[cfan]

I find giving hugs is very important.


When they wake up and ask me to wake up, I hug them and say I love you.

When I send them to school, I hug them and say "love you, see you later."

When I come back from work and they are still up, I open my arms wide and asks " Can Mummy have a huggie? I miss you"

Maybe because now they are still small.

If they are asleep by the time I get back, I still go to their room and kiss them and say "I miss you, Sleep tight"

When we are out together, I will sometimes tell them matter of factly "Do you know Mummy and Daddy loves you very much?" - follow by hugs.

Make sure your hugs are warm and tight so they get the message.

[jiyou2003]

Two days ago, DS at 7yrs say that to me. I was on MC (chicken pox) so he get to stay home instead of going to Student Care in this wk. He was learning his spelling and I am talking on the phone w his aunty who is in labour ward waiting for delivery. When I return to his room, he was looking out the window. I saw tear in his eyes and ask what hd happen. He say I dont love him. He say he is sad. He had hide his spelling behind the writing table! I basically spent almost all my time w him when I’m back fm work. I dont stay up too often in office and comes home straight, no other outing on weekdays. Weekends we are together as a family. DH was jeolous. DS cry easily.

I cant understand.

[tankee]

jiyou2003:

.... He was learning his spelling and I am talking on the phone w his aunty who is in labour ward waiting for delivery. When I return to his room, he was looking out the window. I saw tear in his eyes and ask what hd happen. He say I dont love him. He say he is sad. ....

something must have happened while you were on the phone. Perhaps it was something that you said over the phone? or did you ignored him when he came to you while you were on the phone? :?

[adhdadhd]

jiyou2003:

Two days ago, DS at 7yrs say that to me. I was on MC (chicken pox) so he get to stay home instead of going to Student Care in this wk. He was learning his spelling and I am talking on the phone w his aunty who is in labour ward waiting for delivery. When I return to his room, he was looking out the window. I saw tear in his eyes and ask what hd happen. He say I dont love him. He say he is sad. He had hide his spelling behind the writing table! I basically spent almost all my time w him when I'm back fm work. I dont stay up too often in office and comes home straight, no other outing on weekdays. Weekends we are together as a family. DH was jeolous. DS cry easily.

I cant understand.

Have you tried talking to him, as if he is an adult? You may be surprise with their response, when he feedback, just listen with great empathy, console him, assure him.

[fussyMummy]

KoalaMummy:

last night, my 10yo ds says i don't love him. says i love his 2 younger siblings but not him. i'm so sad. how can i show him i love him, he being my first-born son. :heartbroken:

Hi KoalaMummy,

Same happened to me too....

DD 10 years old too, said I dont love her and always so strict to her... :stupid:

I explained to her that I am strict to her behaviour, asked her to help up on some household, as she is just like a mirror to her brother... If she is being good and her brother will follow the same, then I save effort ( being selfish mother I am :oops: )

Nowadays, always try to give her a hug before she goes to school and before bedtime... and seem like its help and she will say : wow, mummy so love me.. after a hug from me... :love:

Communication do plays big part of it... and I am always repeat (and so call nag!!!) some same sentenses, to let her understand, I do love her, always and forever...!

[heyhoe]

Just read a book on 5 Languages of Love. Maybe we can apply these and hopefully it might help:-


1. Affirmations
2. Physical Touch
3. Gifts
4. Act of Service
5. Quality Time

In none specific order and can apply to all loved ones including hubby