My son says i dont love him

[cfan]

I find giving hugs is very important.


When they wake up and ask me to wake up, I hug them and say I love you.

When I send them to school, I hug them and say "love you, see you later."

When I come back from work and they are still up, I open my arms wide and asks " Can Mummy have a huggie? I miss you"

Maybe because now they are still small.

If they are asleep by the time I get back, I still go to their room and kiss them and say "I miss you, Sleep tight"

When we are out together, I will sometimes tell them matter of factly "Do you know Mummy and Daddy loves you very much?" - follow by hugs.

Make sure your hugs are warm and tight so they get the message.

[jiyou2003]

Two days ago, DS at 7yrs say that to me. I was on MC (chicken pox) so he get to stay home instead of going to Student Care in this wk. He was learning his spelling and I am talking on the phone w his aunty who is in labour ward waiting for delivery. When I return to his room, he was looking out the window. I saw tear in his eyes and ask what hd happen. He say I dont love him. He say he is sad. He had hide his spelling behind the writing table! I basically spent almost all my time w him when I’m back fm work. I dont stay up too often in office and comes home straight, no other outing on weekdays. Weekends we are together as a family. DH was jeolous. DS cry easily.

I cant understand.

[tankee]

jiyou2003:

.... He was learning his spelling and I am talking on the phone w his aunty who is in labour ward waiting for delivery. When I return to his room, he was looking out the window. I saw tear in his eyes and ask what hd happen. He say I dont love him. He say he is sad. ....

something must have happened while you were on the phone. Perhaps it was something that you said over the phone? or did you ignored him when he came to you while you were on the phone? :?

[adhdadhd]

jiyou2003:

Two days ago, DS at 7yrs say that to me. I was on MC (chicken pox) so he get to stay home instead of going to Student Care in this wk. He was learning his spelling and I am talking on the phone w his aunty who is in labour ward waiting for delivery. When I return to his room, he was looking out the window. I saw tear in his eyes and ask what hd happen. He say I dont love him. He say he is sad. He had hide his spelling behind the writing table! I basically spent almost all my time w him when I'm back fm work. I dont stay up too often in office and comes home straight, no other outing on weekdays. Weekends we are together as a family. DH was jeolous. DS cry easily.

I cant understand.

Have you tried talking to him, as if he is an adult? You may be surprise with their response, when he feedback, just listen with great empathy, console him, assure him.

[fussyMummy]

KoalaMummy:

last night, my 10yo ds says i don't love him. says i love his 2 younger siblings but not him. i'm so sad. how can i show him i love him, he being my first-born son. :heartbroken:

Hi KoalaMummy,

Same happened to me too....

DD 10 years old too, said I dont love her and always so strict to her... :stupid:

I explained to her that I am strict to her behaviour, asked her to help up on some household, as she is just like a mirror to her brother... If she is being good and her brother will follow the same, then I save effort ( being selfish mother I am :oops: )

Nowadays, always try to give her a hug before she goes to school and before bedtime... and seem like its help and she will say : wow, mummy so love me.. after a hug from me... :love:

Communication do plays big part of it... and I am always repeat (and so call nag!!!) some same sentenses, to let her understand, I do love her, always and forever...!

[heyhoe]

Just read a book on 5 Languages of Love. Maybe we can apply these and hopefully it might help:-


1. Affirmations
2. Physical Touch
3. Gifts
4. Act of Service
5. Quality Time

In none specific order and can apply to all loved ones including hubby

[Mum2kids]

heyhoe:

Just read a book on 5 Languages of Love. Maybe we can apply these and hopefully it might help:-


1. Affirmations
2. Physical Touch
3. Gifts
4. Act of Service
5. Quality Time

In none specific order and can apply to all loved ones including hubby

Yes, I really recommend this book for all - it says: Whatever we do/say, it's what the recipient perceives that makes it effective

eg. for someone whose love language is affirmations (ie. needs words of love), you can hug and kiss and think that's showing love...but the person doesn't feel so. You need to say loving words to get the message across. On the flip side, because words carry such \"heavy weight\" for them, for such persons, words uttered in anger (when you don't mean them) hurt a lot.