Club Only Child Club

[sakura_2009]

auntieM:

Agree with you Angelight!

I'm an only child myself with one boy.
I'm strict with him on certain issues and I too believe onus is on the parents.. ... :celebrate:

I second this :celebrate:

I only have one child by choice - and yes, onus is definitely on us to make sure our kid grows up to be a responsible and useful person in the future...and since we only have one child, DH & me make sure each of us try to spend almost equal amount of time with him (eg. I take care of his academic stuff while DH is the one who plays with him - usually sports like swimming, badminton etc)...DS looked for me when he has problems with his school work while he will go look for his Dad when its playtime :lol:

[Angelight]

Blue-march, thanks for sharing. I totally agree with you on the part where people around me keep telling me to \"have another child' like conceiving, giving birth and bringing up a child is like baking cake. I always reply \"leave it to God\" so they have nothing to say...


Your gal sure seems to turn out fine. I hope my DD will too, since she will probably be our one and only. That's probably my regret of having only one child - putting all my eggs in one basket, so it had better turn out well.

[Si Si]

blue-march:

All ppl around us, including ppl whom we just met, will throw us this question: One child is too lonely, have another one lah!


Talk is cheap lor, I'm so sian of these remarks already :rant:

Si Si:
Hee...I always got these remarks made to me so I always say \" let natural takes its course lor\"; \"If got got, don't have don't have lor\" :lol:

[Angelight]

Read an article on pg 2 of Sunday Times "Watch That Clock" about this couple who have some fertility issue, but they managed to conceive miraculously and are now proud parent of a child.


Set me thinking that some parents of only child may not be by choice, but by circumstance or the will of God. So I think we shld all be more sensitive (whether we have one or more kids) towards those with no or only one child and not ask questions like "when are you going to have a child/or your 2nd one? cos you never know, they may be trying very hard to have a child/or 2nd one but can’t…

Children are really a blessing from God, and whether we want one or more, boy or girl, is really not up to us.

[adhdadhd]

I had also been asked this question, albeit in a nice way.


"you got very good gene le, why not another one?"

My answer has been, " I do not want to incur more trauma for my wife…" as her urinary tract was pressed against by the baby, her kidney swollen during pregnancy, now she has been having occasional kidney pain…

But What’s Wrong with only one child, it was the combination of 2 children policy, surprised speed of economic development, and lack of foresight in economic future, that was responsible for low birthrate … arguably…

Loss time, and loss opportunity cannot be recovered always…

[krazy]

I have a 5 year old girl.


1) Pressure from (his) relatives especially at festive seasons. Queries come in on how come we only have one kid.
- initially, they were polite and said I should have another because my girl is so old already. then over the years, they have become very blunt and curt, and it is \"you must have another child now or else, there is no one to continue the blood line. (obviously in laws have spoken to them about this and the exact words were said to me earlier.)


2) Feelings of inferiority on why we couldn't 'complete' the family and have no 2?
- nope, I don't feel inferior at all. I have seen far too many families with \"complete\" family structure but parents can't cope either financially or emotionally.

3) Child constantly asking for sibling.
- my girl does ask for a sibling but i tell her she has cousins to play with and in sch, she has friends.

4) Child very clingey because there is no one else to entertain her.
- I believe this is a phase the child will have to go through. my girl will scream out for me too but once she is settled and doing whatever she is doing, she is alright. but of course, playing board games, she can't do it alone. but i see it as our bonding time too.

5) Child less socially apt as she has no one else to interact with.
- i dont think this is a problem because the child goes to school and spends a considerable amount of time with her peers. besides, we also spend weekends with family and friends who have children so my girl interacts with children her age or 2 yrs difference.

6) Child rather selfish as she has no one else to share with.
- this can be instilled. i mean, i tell my girl to give her toys away too especially to her younger cousins cuz she has outgrown them. and during weekends, she will bring her toys along when she visits my parents so that she can share with her little cousin.

I am sure we all have reasons why we only want one child so we don't have to answer to anyone else.

[Donkey Kong]

One child very lonely.


:stupid:

[krazy]

hmm... i think the child will only what loneliness is when he learns what company is.

[Donkey Kong]

Looks like I have to clone another for him! :x


Always ask parents to play......

:celebrate:

[Angelight]

krazy:

I have a 5 year old girl.


1) Pressure from (his) relatives especially at festive seasons. Queries come in on how come we only have one kid.
- initially, they were polite and said I should have another because my girl is so old already. then over the years, they have become very blunt and curt, and it is \"you must have another child now or else, there is no one to continue the blood line. (obviously in laws have spoken to them about this and the exact words were said to me earlier.)


2) Feelings of inferiority on why we couldn't 'complete' the family and have no 2?
- nope, I don't feel inferior at all. I have seen far too many families with \"complete\" family structure but parents can't cope either financially or emotionally.

3) Child constantly asking for sibling.
- my girl does ask for a sibling but i tell her she has cousins to play with and in sch, she has friends.

4) Child very clingey because there is no one else to entertain her.
- I believe this is a phase the child will have to go through. my girl will scream out for me too but once she is settled and doing whatever she is doing, she is alright. but of course, playing board games, she can't do it alone. but i see it as our bonding time too.

5) Child less socially apt as she has no one else to interact with.
- i dont think this is a problem because the child goes to school and spends a considerable amount of time with her peers. besides, we also spend weekends with family and friends who have children so my girl interacts with children her age or 2 yrs difference.

6) Child rather selfish as she has no one else to share with.
- this can be instilled. i mean, i tell my girl to give her toys away too especially to her younger cousins cuz she has outgrown them. and during weekends, she will bring her toys along when she visits my parents so that she can share with her little cousin.

I am sure we all have reasons why we only want one child so we don't have to answer to anyone else.

Krazy, i can't agree with you more. We certainly don't have to acede to others' whim of having a 'complete' family jus becos everyone around us have more than one child. After all, what define 'complete'? don't tell me a family with only one child is not complete? I think most important is that both husband and wife must agree on the no. of children they want to have. Other people's opinions, even in-laws, are secondary.