Club Only Child Club

[daisyt]

xavierine_angel:

Hello,

i'm new here. I am the only child. So is my son. My mom died when i was 2 weeks old due to childbirth complications. My dad was 38 den. When i was in sec 2, he stopped working due to his medical conditions. I was expected to quit schooling after 'o' levels as i needed to support him. I was very sad den as i did better den most of my pals who went to poly. But, not good enough for scholarship. As such, i grew up being a 'not so happy' person who really was at some point, 'disappointed' and 'ashamed' for having such a useless dad. however, i still supported him and till now, i'm still doing so. Now he has his 'little' cpf given to him, so i can support lesser. I married young so i'm now 26 and my son is 5. I believe in investing his education, not because i wan him to take care of me in the future. I hope that he will be able to have a good education and be a righteous person for his own sake and lead a happy life. He doesn't have to have alot of $$. He just have to respect the laws, be happy wif what he's doing. I feel this is the best that we can give our children. HAPPINESS

P.S. i live with my in-laws wif my dad staying over every weekend. Still happy with this extended family arrangement.

Hi, xavierine_angel, your in laws are kind to have this type of arrangement. At least your dad can have some quality time with you all in the weekend and don't feel so lonely.

I am thinking, if both sides are single child, its not a bad idea to get a big house, children, parents and in-laws all stay together.

[kaitlynangelica]

Hi all,


After all this discussion, how do we go about starting a support group for parents with one child only?

By way of another forum?

Any suggestions?

[Angelight]

I think we need someone to take the lead to start the group going. Then whoever is really interested to join the support group can PM the person directly so that personal arrangement to meet up or whatever can be arranged. Just my humble opinion.

kaitlynangelica:

Hi all,

After all this discussion, how do we go about starting a support group for parents with one child only?

By way of another forum?

Any suggestions?

[westmom]

sakura_2009:

toddles:

[quote=\"sakura_2009\"]
For those who chose to have only one child, I guess this is a fact that would have been discussed and accepted already, isn't it?
:roll:

Errrr... yah the parents discuss, but the child has no choice right?

Yup, that's what the fact is all about - that the only child can't share the emotional burden of caring for their elderly parents. But as the parents, I think we have the choice of not creating too heavy a burden for the child to care for us in old age - both financially and emotionally...[/quote]I wish Singapore has a retirement village for people like us....don't want to depend on our only child to care for us....

[Pen88n]

I am of the idea that we should take care of ourselves at least financially and not add financial burden to our kids.


Having kids is a form of "pay forward", and I hope my kids will "pay forward" and take care of their future family well. In this way, society can then prosper. If having kids is a way of caring for old age (like what the older generation thinks most times), then it will always be a social burden to support a greying population all the time.

I am not saying we should not support the old (our parents) now, but if we can start planning and rely on ourselves at least financially in the future, it would be less of a burden to our kids and they will be better off. We may need them to care for us in other physical ways, but at least we can help to remove the financial burden and not load them with all our old age needs.

[sakura_2009]

westmom:

I wish Singapore has a retirement village for people like us....don't want to depend on our only child to care for us....

I thought this idea was mooted previously by one of our ministers (cannot remember who) but it was not well accepted...I think many people still feel that elderly folks should live 'within' the community, i.e. amongst their own families (young and old alike) and not be 'isolated' in a certain place....

[sakura_2009]

Pen88n:

I am of the idea that we should take care of ourselves at least financially and not add financial burden to our kids.


Having kids is a form of \"pay forward\", and I hope my kids will \"pay forward\" and take care of their future family well. In this way, society can then prosper. If having kids is a way of caring for old age (like what the older generation thinks most times), then it will always be a social burden to support a greying population all the time.

I am not saying we should not support the old (our parents) now, but if we can start planning and rely on ourselves at least financially in the future, it would be less of a burden to our kids and they will be better off. We may need them to care for us in other physical ways, but at least we can help to remove the financial burden and not load them with all our old age needs.

Yup, totally agree. However, many of the elderly folks still have this concept of ‘养儿防老’I sincerely hope that my kid will take care of me & DH when we grow old but at the same time, we will try our very best not to burden him in the future, especially on financial issues...

[hapydino]

hi, can i join in? :oops:


i have a DD (April07) baby.. situation and circumstances do not allow #2 and she will most likely be an only child..

i hope to be able to meet up with the fellow mums and dads with only 1 宝贝 as i think the support will be good for all of us..

i feel that 养儿防老 is old school.. to have a child for the intention of having the child to provide for our old age is also selfish on the parents' part??

just my tots.. cheers!!

[Augmum]

oh yes, miss out to report to here.....now happen to see this thread.....


me, me....i have 1 and only 1 宝贝

[Angelight]

hapydino:

i hope to be able to meet up with the fellow mums and dads with only 1 宝贝 as i think the support will be good for all of us..

Yup, my sentiment exactly. Hope someone can arrange that.