Any parents here ever felt pressurized by others?
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markfch:
You will never know what they've been doing unless you stay with them.
From my circle of friends, there are really parents who are doing well financially but still decided against going all out for their kids to achieve academic excellence. They say that the big fight will be at secondary level and by then, it's really up to the kids' own motivation. So their children really look happy and enjoying their childhood.mrswongtuition:
Agree. Some of them may not want to share with you what they are sending their kids to and put up a 'carefree' attitude in front of you. Behind you, they are madly surfing KSP to dig more info about the schools you are sending your kids to and trying to find even better schools to send their kids.
But I know of another group who keep saying that enrichments are useless and there's no need for such rat races. In reality, they can't afford it. So they say there's no need for it
I know of someone who claims that his kids never needed tuition or enrichments at all. However, I came to find out that he hired private tutors to do revision with his kids everyday and he tells the kids it's not tuition, it's just 'babysitting'. And the tutor he hires are top tutors who charge at least $50-80 per hour.
Found out by accident cos one of the tutors he hired is my ex-colleague and she asked me for a ride to his house for tuition after school (it's on my way home). -
mrswongtuition:
Your anecdote reminds me of another story. I was taking leave to do PV work once in a while. My ex-boss then told me to take it easy. Nowadays kids have too much stress already. Pri sch is for play play only. I casually asked him which pri sch his kids attended (they're all grown up and doing well now)? Based on his theory, I half expected a neighbourhood sch name to pop up. Then he mentioned first kid RGPS, second kid (boy) Nan Hua.You will never know what they've been doing unless you stay with them.
I know of someone who claims that his kids never needed tuition or enrichments at all. However, I came to find out that he hired private tutors to do revision with his kids everyday and he tells the kids it's not tuition, it's just 'babysitting'. And the tutor he hires are top tutors who charge at least $50-80 per hour.
Walau. Did you hear the sound of palm smacking forehead :roll: ? Since he was my boss, couldn't smack his forehead so have to smack mine instead. Next time he tells me a car is only a transport from pt A to pt B, I better check whether it's a Jag or not.
But I still believe that there are parents who don't subscribe to the rat race, at least for kids at an early age. Cos even if you win, you're still a rat
. I would really like to hear from this group how they cope with peers pressure.
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starlight1968sg:
why do you have to feel sour when someone has it better ?If one were to say that he/she isn't influenced or affected by others, then he/she is lying.
When you see people's kids doing much better than yours, don't you have a sour feeling?
When you see your peers driving a big car, live in a big house, carry branded good etc, don't you feel that life is such unfair?
When you see lesser fortunate people, don't you feel relieved that your 4 limbs are healthy and you can walk & play?
...
We are all easily influenced by external factors. What makes a better person is to be able to control the negative influences and think positively in the long term.
Sigh... I am just feeling lousy that my junior has a higher chance for promotion! :x
if you want it, work for it
if you can't get it, even with hard work thrown in, why ? get the answer and work at it
if you don't want it, so be it
nobody is pressuring anyone! -
No, I don’t feel pressured by what others are doing for their children because every child is different. My friends share in great detail what they do for their children and sometimes seek my advice or opinion. If it has any impact on me, then I would be overly busy.
I feel more pressured by my own kid. -
ksi:
:rotflmao:No, I don't feel pressured by what others are doing for their children because every child is different. My friends share in great detail what they do for their children and sometimes seek my advice or opinion. If it has any impact on me, then I would be overly busy.
I feel more pressured by my own kid. -
i think there’s nothing wrong wif parents doing their best for their children, with a balance between encouraging and pushing them just enough and not too hard and letting them enjoy their childhood.
what i can’t stand is those parents who just blindly follow what their frens r doing, pushing their own children to try and be like their friends’ children, without regard as to whether its suitable for their own children. -
markfch:
i have a fren whose dd is supposed to be in n2 this yr but she has not attended school yet, just the weekly enrichment classes. she's one of the few parents i know who r really not in the rat race. my fren herself came from a top girls school n is one of those independent, confident, self-assured type of parent. how does she cope with peer pressure? gotta ask her, although i can sense her frustrations when people quite senselessly \"make digs\" at her when they hear her relatively 'relaxed approach\" when it comes to her dd's education.
But I still believe that there are parents who don't subscribe to the rat race, at least for kids at an early age. Cos even if you win, you're still a rat . I would really like to hear from this group how they cope with peers pressure. -
ksi:
100% agree, ksi. I was struggling to come out with the words but you said it so precisely.No, I don't feel pressured by what others are doing for their children because every child is different. My friends share in great detail what they do for their children and sometimes seek my advice or opinion. If it has any impact on me, then I would be overly busy.
I feel more pressured by my own kid. -
foreverj:
i have a fren whose dd is supposed to be in n2 this yr but she has not attended school yet, just the weekly enrichment classes. she's one of the few parents i know who r really not in the rat race. my fren herself came from a top girls school n is one of those independent, confident, self-assured type of parent.
I've quite a few friends like yours too. Their thinking is usually very long term. Though they had stellar results, they tell me that they only expect their kids to try their best. That's enough for them. I believe them cos at least one of them, a GRL gave up a place in a tier one sch to go to a tier two sch. She felt that her kids will do better in a slower pace environment :salute: .
In my clique there are also parents who are more kancheong, who like to share notes on academic tips. I'm one of them. But when we have group outings together, we try to be sensitive to such talks. -
I am definitely not the kancheong parent, unlike my DH who is very super duper kancheong.
He does all the teaching and coaching, whereas I make sure my kids are well clothed and fed and am in charge of enrolling them into tuition centres and enrichment courses.
To me, academic excellence does not necessarily equal financial success. So as long as my kids are doing ok and not with bad company, I am already happy.
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