What you do want or hope your child to work as next time?

[Pen88n]

ImMeeMee:

autumnbronze:

[quote=\"tree nymph\"]
this is so beautiful too! and aptly describe our role as a parent.

The ksparents here got a lot of ink!

:goodpost: :goodpost:
:celebrate:

thanks.

my piece was written with great grief in my heart. Our dear daughter 3 has just been assessed to be autistic. This has pretty much turned our lives upside down, as its a whole lot of new things for us - therapy sessions, early intervention school, more assessments on hearing, not the mention the emotional turmoil.

dh has clammed up because of this - i dont know whether i am to be blamed for this, as I have been equally emotional and temperamental myself. where we used to share joy and laughter between us, it is now silence and anguish. I dont know which is worse - dd3's situation or the fact that this may have changed my marriage. and it breaks my heart.

while there are friends that i can confide in, i cant seem to talk to anybody on this. it is just too emotional for me. i know this is not the worst, as there are others with worse plights than me, and they have been able to get through. one day i will look back and see that we have passed the worst stage. but at this point here and now, it is just too overwhelming for me.

so when i saw the piece on 'On Children', i suddenly had the urge to seek solace in words, hence my piece. yes, the archer is the 'supreme being' who has set the path for my daughter, a path that is unknown to me, and therefore I feel anguish. As much as I like to nurture my dd3, I am equally lost in what her future holds for her. while i believe one day we will walk out of this darkness, i tread with uncertainty now, with a great sense of loss and grief.

my piece is amateurish, and but an expression of thoughts within immense inner turmoil. 见笑了.[/quote]ImMeeMee,

Fret not, for your gal has her place in this world and will find her way. The archer has a purpose for her. It may not be the bull's eye target, but she will find her path and her final destination. As the bow, both you and your hubby (different parts of the bow?) should do your part to support her in guiding her on her path to the destination. Be a strong bow, for the sake of the arrow and trust in the archer to guide the bow and arrow and show you the way!

All the best to you and your family!

[autumnbronze]

ImMeeMee:

autumnbronze:

[quote=\"tree nymph\"]
this is so beautiful too! and aptly describe our role as a parent.

The ksparents here got a lot of ink!

:goodpost: :goodpost:
:celebrate:

thanks.

my piece was written with great grief in my heart. Our dear daughter 3 has just been assessed to be autistic. This has pretty much turned our lives upside down, as its a whole lot of new things for us - therapy sessions, early intervention school, more assessments on hearing, not the mention the emotional turmoil.

dh has clammed up because of this - i dont know whether i am to be blamed for this, as I have been equally emotional and temperamental myself. where we used to share joy and laughter between us, it is now silence and anguish. I dont know which is worse - dd3's situation or the fact that this may have changed my marriage. and it breaks my heart.

while there are friends that i can confide in, i cant seem to talk to anybody on this. it is just too emotional for me. i know this is not the worst, as there are others with worse plights than me, and they have been able to get through. one day i will look back and see that we have passed the worst stage. but at this point here and now, it is just too overwhelming for me.

so when i saw the piece on 'On Children', i suddenly had the urge to seek solace in words, hence my piece. yes, the archer is the 'supreme being' who has set the path for my daughter, a path that is unknown to me, and therefore I feel anguish. As much as I like to nurture my dd3, I am equally lost in what her future holds for her. while i believe one day we will walk out of this darkness, i tread with uncertainty now, with a great sense of loss and grief.

my piece is amateurish, and but an expression of thoughts within immense inner turmoil. 见笑了.[/quote]Hi ImMeeMee,

Thank you for sharing your inner thoughts with us.

Your piece is not amateurish at all. It reflects alot about you as a mother - strong, unyielding and on the contrary, very focused in trying to help your DD3 (see highlighted stanza) - my interpretation at least.

ImMeeMee, I can understand when you say that you can't seem to talk to anyone about it. But I'd like to assure you that in KSP here, there will be someone who can respond to your queries or lend you a 'shoulder' to lean on in times of need.

I am not sure if you have perused the \"All About Autism thread.\" If you have the time, please try to read the postings there. There are mummies there who will gladly provide support. That thread itself has provided me with much enlightenment.

I chose to read up on the topic because I know of some who are in the same situation as you and who simply refuse to give up on their child. To follow up, I also read up on Jenny McCarthy's \"Louder than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Autism\" and \"Mother Warriors.\" Very inspiring books.

A word of encouragement - I know you are feeling down at the moment. But I'd like to sincerely add that I do believe that you are also a \"Mother Warrior\" (based on your poem), and that you WILL pull through out of this.

Try to get some support from family and friends. You will need it. And your DD3 as well as your 2 elders ones need you too.

I will PM you in a short while.

Do take care and loads of :hugs: :hugs:

[Blobbi]

Gosh. First time I chanced upon this thread.


So sorry to hear about how things are, IMM. You brought a lump to my throat. It’s so easy to look back and start pointing fingers, but there is no-one to blame, good or bad.

All the best to you and your family. I know you won’t lose hope.

[Way2GO]

Thx for d sharing, ImMeeMee.

I now understand your piece better.
U n your DH need to be strong for your kids.
Best wishes.

[RRMummy]

Dear ImMeeMee,


I'm not good with words but please come to us here if you need friends to hear you out, shoulders to cry on and support to hold on to..we are here for you dear..

:snuggles:

[corneyAmber]

Yeah ImMeeMee, the important thing is not to lose hope. Nothing is really absolute in life. The archer may surprise you with the future plans. Press on and on tired days, just come here and regain your strength.

:grphug:

[duriz]

Dear ImMeeMee,


Be strong for yourself and your family who needs you. I know it's easy for us to say. But you must believe it so that you can find the strength within. Baby steps everyday :hugs:

[ImMeeMee]

dear all, thanks for the encouragement and kind words. it is heartening to know that there are people who care to put in a kind word in times of need.


I will try to be strong.

[WaWa]

Hi All

I just chanced upon this thread & I had a good read.

Hi ImMM

First of all, hugs to you ImMM & Good work on the arch, arrow & bow piece - nicely written and spells out EXACTLY what lies deep in my heart - the constant concerns, worries I hold so dearly for my son.

We actually "met briefly" over at the autism thread:)

My boy is the same age as your DD.
Non-verbal.
Not much improvement after 1 year of EIPIC.
It hurts me even more seeing him "regressed" … he was once able to maintain quite "ok eye contact" for a short while last year …but this year seems to be a very bad year…everything just slides for him… and for me hence.

Eye contact not there. eyes roaming everywhere. Tantrums. Meltdowns. Flicking of fingers near eyes. Arms flapping. Body rocking. I remembered I was so shocked when i first saw those signs…I couldn’t help but tear…and tear uncontrollably when i started to see him exhibit these traits. I was like "Gosh… so this is it. :!: This is my son. It ended my 1 year of "speculation" if he is indeed autistic". I guess such truth is always awful to accept & really a bitter pill to swallow.

There is a lot more sorrows in me that I would like to share w you but unlike you, I am unable to express my thoughts as clearly as I would like to …cos each time i talk or think about my son, i get mental block, writer’s block. I get choked. I get overwhelmed w emotions. He is sooo into his own world that it scares the wits out of me!

Every time when I am down, I tell myself to pick up & go. I tell myself to stop dwelling in the negatives and remain positive. But i think only parents like yourself know how hard & cruel life can be. As a parent of an ASD child, I have my "meltdowns" too. This is not about whether i can accept my child as he is; i think it is more about how i can help him that tires me out endlessly … and when i see him not making any progress despite all the efforts, i feel "defeated".

On what I would like my child to be when he grows up. I find myself casting a gaze at him & wondering what will become of him next year, 2 years from now, 5 years from now, 10 years from now, or ultimately when he is an adult . Will he ever be normal, and most importantly, what will become of him when i m gone ???.. I guess it is anyone’s guess.

But really…what I would like my child to be when he grows up? I want him to be normal…soon i hope.

[sunset_dae]

While Daddy is driving past a row of private houses:


Child to Mummy: Mummy, I want live in those big houses
Mummy to child: Then u must study hard and earn more $$$
Child to Mummy: One big house for you, one big house for Daddy.
Mummy and Daddy:
Child to Daddy: Daddy, can I have a sweet
Daddy to Child: No, u cant have so many sweets
Child to Daddy: No big house for you!