How to teach children to handle bullies

[Tutormummy]

I do agree that "verbal" bullies are more difficult to detect, and I’ve learnt a new way how to handle the situaton from my DD.


She had a "verbal" bully in her class when she was in P1, constanly putting other kids down through verbal abuse. One day, the bully forgot to bring his pencil case and approached my DD to lend him a pencil. Guess what my DD told him. She said that she will only lend him the pencil provided that he promised to be her friend. The bully agreed and he stopped the verbal abuse on my DD from there onwards. Because my DD told him that since he promised to be her friend, they must be good to each other.

This method may not apply to everybody, but self esteem is definitely the passport in reducing the bully cases. And yes, I’m afraid that the kids will be exposed to more bullying cases when they are in P1. We just have to teach them how to stand up for themselves.

[hquek]

Tutormummy:

My DD had an even better \"technique\" when she was a newbie in P1. There was this older primary boy who snatched her water bottle and hid it away so that she couldn't find it. My DD located him during the school assembly, went up to him in front of all the teachers and students and asked him at the top of her voice to give back the water bottle to her. Thereafter, some other P1 girls went up and joined her as the bully had apparently did the same to them too. Needless to say, all the P1 girls got their water bottles back and the bully was reprimanded by the teacher.

:ugogirl: Your girl is really very very good!! Well done!

[cantbearit2]

Eagle-Ladybird:

Oh, you mean you don't teach your DDs to punch their nose and kick their sheen, or jab their eyes !! . . . . . . hahaha

haha....that's wat my DH did. He got v upset when his \"princess\" got bullied. U noe the saying \"daddy's girl\"? It was evident in my DH. :lol:

[cantbearit2]

Tutormummy:

Frankly, I personally do not like the \"an eye for an eye\" approach in handling bullies, but as the telling teacher technique didn't seem to work out, guess we have to try other means. But from that experience, she has learnt to stand up for herself.


My DD had an even better \"technique\" when she was a newbie in P1. There was this older primary boy who snatched her water bottle and hid it away so that she couldn't find it. My DD located him during the school assembly, went up to him in front of all the teachers and students and asked him at the top of her voice to give back the water bottle to her. Thereafter, some other P1 girls went up and joined her as the bully had apparently did the same to them too. Needless to say, all the P1 girls got their water bottles back and the bully was reprimanded by the teacher.

Wow, impressive!!! Your DD did well. :rahrah:

[autumnbronze]

Tutormummy:

I do agree that \"verbal\" bullies are more difficult to detect, and I've learnt a new way how to handle the situaton from my DD.


She had a \"verbal\" bully in her class when she was in P1, constanly putting other kids down through verbal abuse. One day, the bully forgot to bring his pencil case and approached my DD to lend him a pencil. Guess what my DD told him. She said that she will only lend him the pencil provided that he promised to be her friend. The bully agreed and he stopped the verbal abuse on my DD from there onwards. Because my DD told him that since he promised to be her friend, they must be good to each other.

This method may not apply to everybody, but self esteem is definitely the passport in reducing the bully cases. And yes, I'm afraid that the kids will be exposed to more bullying cases when they are in P1. We just have to teach them how to stand up for themselves.

Ohhhh, this is really good :salute: :salute:

[Chimmy]

Hi Parents,


My boy has been the target of verbal abuse since he started sec 1 in his dream school. He is sick of the daily taunting and now dreads school. Many books advise ignoring the bully but from experience, this is really not good advice. Anyone has any advice on this or experience to share. I wish for my son to learn to fight his own battle but these bullies are really malicious and persistent. Please advise.

[janet88]

Yes, we have to teach our kids how to handle bullies.


My daughter in P1 told me her friend scratched her. Told her to inform her FT…taught her to learn to stand up for herself as I can’t be in school with her…so she has to learn. Asked her few days ago whether she informed the teacher about it and she told me the FT punished the girl.

Son came home yesterday miserable…refused to tell me what happened. Pressed him for answer and he told me. He was worried I’ll punish him. Told him the same thing as what I told daughter. Hope he will summon up courage to inform his FT about the truth…he was wrongly punished yesterday as the 2 bigger boys twisted the story. Poor thing…why do our kids have to suffer this in school ?

[laughingcat]

janet_lee88:

Yes, we have to teach our kids how to handle bullies.


My daughter in P1 told me her friend scratched her. Told her to inform her FT...taught her to learn to stand up for herself as I can't be in school with her...so she has to learn. Asked her few days ago whether she informed the teacher about it and she told me the FT punished the girl.

Son came home yesterday miserable...refused to tell me what happened. Pressed him for answer and he told me. He was worried I'll punish him. Told him the same thing as what I told daughter. Hope he will summon up courage to inform his FT about the truth...he was wrongly punished yesterday as the 2 bigger boys twisted the story. Poor thing...why do our kids have to suffer this in school ?

Given in your shoes, I will marched up to the school and confront the teachers and also the bullies. But then I don't know whether is this right way.

When I was back in my secondary years, I was being bullied many times and each time I informed my parents will definitely turn to deaf ears. So that is why when my kids do complain about being bullied, I will tend to be badly affected and hence will \"overly react\". But at least that will give both children and myself assurance. But then again......I don't know whether is this the right way.

[bebebub]

Chimmy:

Hi Parents,


My boy has been the target of verbal abuse since he started sec 1 in his dream school. He is sick of the daily taunting and now dreads school. Many books advise ignoring the bully but from experience, this is really not good advice. Anyone has any advice on this or experience to share. I wish for my son to learn to fight his own battle but these bullies are really malicious and persistent. Please advise.

In most cases, these bullies operate as a group. Since your boy has just started Sec 1, I presume he may not have found his own clique of friends yet. This is afterall, only the 3rd week of the new term. Encourage your boy to make friends, and hopefully, the bullies will stop bothering him when he move around in a group. And hopefully his new friends will also provide him with the necessary emotional support. Good luck.

[Chimmy]

bebebub:

Chimmy:

Hi Parents,


My boy has been the target of verbal abuse since he started sec 1 in his dream school. He is sick of the daily taunting and now dreads school. Many books advise ignoring the bully but from experience, this is really not good advice. Anyone has any advice on this or experience to share. I wish for my son to learn to fight his own battle but these bullies are really malicious and persistent. Please advise.

In most cases, these bullies operate as a group. Since your boy has just started Sec 1, I presume he may not have found his own clique of friends yet. This is afterall, only the 3rd week of the new term. Encourage your boy to make friends, and hopefully, the bullies will stop bothering him when he move around in a group. And hopefully his new friends will also provide him with the necessary emotional support. Good luck.

Thank you for the advice and encouragement.
Yes they are operating in a group and the worst thing is they are his classmates! Not that he has offended them in any way, most of the time they make nasty comments about his looks and always putting him down. He has friends but he still has to face this on his own. I could not stand the injustice and have informed the teacher. Hope she does something constructive. Schools are sometimes hopeless and powerless in dealing with these issues. I only hope my son comes out of this stronger. Appreciate your reply!