In-law problems?

[janet88]

Hi Duriz,

I am happy for you.
Guess the reason why your hubby didn’t tell his mother is because he didn’t want her to plan anything or interfere.
Where your daughter is concerned, you and hubby have to be the ones making decisions.

Hi Buds,
I hope your hubby remembers your pregnancy and also the part that you have lived with his parents for 10 years - ‘served your NS’. I honestly salute you for being able to do that, bcos it is something I can’t.

If there should be a day we have to look after parents, my priority is like cherrygal - MY parents. They are the ones who cook kids’ favourite food and love my 2 kids. If MIL needs to be looked after, please go to America to stay with her daughter.

[duriz]

LKVM:

Very well done duriz :celebrate: :celebrate:

Thank you LKVM :celebrate:

[duriz]

janet_lee88:

Hi Duriz,

I am happy for you.

Thank you janet_lee88 :celebrate:

[janet88]

duriz:

janet_lee88:

Hi Duriz,

I am happy for you.

Thank you janet_lee88 :celebrate:

Stay strong, Duriz. Your daughter needs you. :celebrate:

[duriz]

Sorry for being lor sor.

But I want to tell abit of MIL's side of the story, just to be fair.
During her \"NS\" days, she stayed with 1 FIL, TWO MILs, TWO SILs and her own 2 boys.
I'd think things were not easy for her either.
And she's Thai, so had to learn Teochew.
Till today none of them speaks Thai, not even my FIL. Only DH (speaks well) and BIL (spattering Thai) do. She however, speaks excellent Teochew, kudos to her.
She also practised tough love in her household. While she served her PILs and DH dutifully, no one challenged her charge and DH and BIL feared her, she was a dragonlady whose word was king.
Imagine this, she lived in a \"banana-plantation\" (FIL, BIL and DH) for 30 years. She had waited for DD for 30 years. No doubt, she'll go a little crazy over her. My widdle michelin :love:
But she needs to understand and \"handover\" to me now. Tough.

[janet88]

duriz:

She also practised tough love in her household. While she served her PILs and DH dutifully, no one challenged her charge and DH and BIL feared her, she was a dragonlady whose word was king.


But she needs to understand and \"handover\" to me now. Tough.

Yes, the dragon lady or has to hand over her power to you NOW. Put it this way, no one challenged her when she was in charge. But she is no longer in charge.
Honestly, have you thought of moving out to avoid conflict ? This way, she can continue to be the QUEEN of the house and you don't have to put up with her and be QUEEN of YOUR own place.

[hapydino]

congrats duriz!!


u got ur way!! :celebrate:

hopefully after this incident ur mil will back off and respect ur decisions when it comes to matters concerning ur DD..

[RRMummy]

duriz:

Then I smsed him:\"To avoid tension between you and I in future, please do not let your mother make any decisions when it comes to our dotter.\" :x

Alamak.. now I know where those MIL jokes were coming from..

I trust your DH heard you loud and clear.. So will it be 50 / 100 guests?

Share with you something that makes our blood boil...My sis has a very MCP husband and horrible MIL. She was not given a chance to decide her daughter's name!! :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: That MCP BIL of mine went to have it from the fengshui master, discussed it with her MIL and she only got a call from him to say okay chose and make birth cert already!! :x :x :x

Needless to say my poor sis cried her heart out behind closed doors.. worst thing is she is very far away from us all..

[RRMummy]

janet_lee88:

Hi Duriz,

I think you have every right to decide, since you are mummy.
This reminds me of the time when my son was born. Told me she didn't like the name SIL gave to her daughter. I asked her if she was the one who named her 4 kids...and she said YES. So I asked her, 'why can't the mother name her own kid ?'

:salute:

[Funz]

Names and ILs.


I insisted that DH go get a Master to 'devine' DD's name cos I dun want some funny sounding name to come from my ILs. After paying all that money, the 1st thing that stupid brainless DH of mine collected the list of possible names and headed straight to his parents to show them the list. So needless to say, this cannot that cannot, and by the time he came back and showed me what was left, I hit the roof. I actually shocked myself cos I was screaming and crying and slamming doors. Those hormones are scary. Anyways, after all their elimination, the the name they decided was nice in canto, Yu Yan, 如茵 in Chinese characters (I think) which to me is also pretty, but in hanyupinyin, it is ru yin which sounded like RUIN. :faint:

I think my dramatic expression shocked DH as well and after I pointed out that I dun want my DD to be RUIN, he decided to ignore all his parents' imputs and we went through the list ourselves and decided on DD's name. After that, when it came to DS's time, he clever oredi, went a step further, did not even peek at the list until he came home. HAHA.

Actually it wasn't so much the name that was shortlisted, it was that DH went to ILs first instead of me. That was the sore point.

Sometimes the issues with ILs is not the problems with the ILs themselves but how our other half handle the whole situation.