In-law problems?

[janet88]

Hi RRMummy,

Your poor sis is really poor thing…horrible MIL not enough, still have a MCP hubby. To think that women of today are still suffering.
Hubby’s grandfather is from a typical generation of having ‘pre-set’ names for each generation. I must thank my SIL who doesn’t believe in this. As such, I get to choose son’s name.

At youngest BIL’s wedding years ago, hubby’s elderly uncles and empress dowager grand-aunt was lamenting on my son’s name and no one following the tradition :x What tradition ? Isn’t my son continuing with the surname ?

[RRMummy]

duriz:

From now on, I will practise tough love (with restraint on harsh words) in our home. I have decided that I'm DD's mom and my word is king (although I will discuss with DH, I will make the final decision). And if anyone doesn't like it, they can jolly well STFU.

:ugogirl:

[RRMummy]

duriz:

Imagine this, she lived in a \"banana-plantation\" (FIL, BIL and DH) for 30 years.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[auntieM]

RRMummy:

duriz:

From now on, I will practise tough love (with restraint on harsh words) in our home. I have decided that I'm DD's mom and my word is king (although I will discuss with DH, I will make the final decision). And if anyone doesn't like it, they can jolly well STFU.

:ugogirl:

Happy for you too duriz!
jia you! :celebrate:

[RRMummy]

janet_lee88:

Hi RRMummy,

Your poor sis is really poor thing...horrible MIL not enough, still have a MCP hubby. To think that women of today are still suffering.
Hubby's grandfather is from a typical generation of having 'pre-set' names for each generation. I must thank my SIL who doesn't believe in this. As such, I get to choose son's name.

At youngest BIL's wedding years ago, hubby's elderly uncles and empress dowager grand-aunt was lamenting on my son's name and no one following the tradition :x What tradition ? Isn't my son continuing with the surname ?

Yalor.. my poor sissy.. and to think that is something that will stick for the rest of her life and bears a constant reminder that she has no say..

women take in all this nastiness it in the name of love and peace for the family but really the suffering is only worth it if the hubs appreciates it.. in her case..not..

Thankfully my Darling Dad is a very reasonable and wise man. :love: He told my bro to forgo the traditional middle name coz really obiang and difficult to come up with a nice name.. :love:

[hapydino]

Funz:

Names and ILs.


I insisted that DH go get a Master to 'devine' DD's name cos I dun want some funny sounding name to come from my ILs. After paying all that money, the 1st thing that stupid brainless DH of mine collected the list of possible names and headed straight to his parents to show them the list. So needless to say, this cannot that cannot, and by the time he came back and showed me what was left, I hit the roof. I actually shocked myself cos I was screaming and crying and slamming doors. Those hormones are scary. Anyways, after all their elimination, the the name they decided was nice in canto, Yu Yan, 如茵 in Chinese characters (I think) which to me is also pretty, but in hanyupinyin, it is ru yin which sounded like RUIN. :faint:

I think my dramatic expression shocked DH as well and after I pointed out that I dun want my DD to be RUIN, he decided to ignore all his parents' imputs and we went through the list ourselves and decided on DD's name. After that, when it came to DS's time, he clever oredi, went a step further, did not even peek at the list until he came home. HAHA.

Actually it wasn't so much the name that was shortlisted, it was that DH went to ILs first instead of me. That was the sore point.

Sometimes the issues with ILs is not the problems with the ILs themselves but how our other half handle the whole situation.

Funz

my MIL wanted a name that sounds Bright and Shiny which is GOOD is her opinion..

she suggested 亮晶 or did she mean 亮金??

me, DH, DH's sister all go HUH???

[RRMummy]

An ex-colleague of mine used to tell us youngsters long ago, "When you choose your husband/wife, make sure that they are either orphans or their mom has already passed away!!"


Sounds nasty eh…but at that time, he was happily married for 40 over years to his childhood sweetheart… and they were so very loving… so go figure…

[janet88]

LKVM:

duriz:

But she needs to understand and \"handover\" to me now. Tough.

Same with my MIL she didnt have any MIL when she was young and thats why totally controlled the household and later wanted to control me too sorry i dont want to be controlled however if needed things can be discussed but sorry cannot be bossed over

Hubby told me his grandmother passed away when his father was young, the eldest sister aka 姑妈 is in control - I've met her twice and that's enough. In short, mine here also doesn't have a MIL and is in control of everything, esp over the husband.
The funny thing is, she controls her sons (3 of them) as though they are daughters and yet doesn't bother about the daughter. I always ask hubby why is his mother so protective of him, like as though he will be raped while his sister can go home anytime.

RRMummy,
The traditional middle name super obiang...no matter what nice name at the end will be ruined by that OBIANG middle. Yucks.

[janet88]

LKVM:

janet_lee88:

I always ask hubby why is his mother so protective of him, like as though he will be raped while his sister can go home anytime.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: cause she knows DIL can take away the sons but not the other way round

Aiyoh, her daughter now married all the way to America. So who is taking who away. I was so mad with hubby before we got married.
He needed to do his IPPT which is near my place...can you believe he had to lie to his mother and say that he is staying at his friend's house and that 'friend' is a MALE. :x :x Not only that, his sickening sister always sms to ask him what time he is going home, while she goes home at 1 or 2am.

[janet88]

LKVM:

janet_lee88:

Aiyoh, her daughter now married all the way to America. So who is taking who away. I was so mad with hubby before we got married.

He needed to do his IPPT which is near my place...can you believe he had to lie to his mother and say that he is staying at his friend's house and that 'friend' is a MALE. :x :x Not only that, his sickening sister always sms to ask him what time he is going home, while she goes home at 1 or 2am.

:!: :!: thats weird :?

Weird right ?
That MIL told me before I got married...be your true self while she herself has dual personality - angelic and demure in front of hubby (still doing that) but horns and rings around the nose appear behind his back. That's why my hubby will never EVER know her nonsense. After 12 years, I don't bother to be tactful anymore. It's frustrating when being tactful is a one-way traffic.