Anyone accused of being a good father but lousy husband?

[duriz]

markfch:

duriz:

Would it be in terms of quality versus quantity?
Just asking is all Papa markfch.

Both bah. When I said spending time together, I don't mean the watching TV together kind of activities. But I don't understand your 2nd sentence.

I meant for your DW's spending of time with your DS.
Maybe less but of good quality?

My second sentence is to qualify that I'm just curious, don't beat me :oops:

[duriz]

markfch:

Since our marriage 12 yrs ago, dw always gave equal shares of her bonuses to both her parents & PILs. My parents were super-pleased, not that they need the money, but it exhibited the immensed respect they had from dw.


And amazingly, dw has never once quarrelled with my parents in these 12 yrs. Isn't that unbelievable?

Your DW is a gem to both your families, treasure her

[markfch]

duriz:

I meant for your DW's spending of time with your DS.
Maybe less but of good quality?

I see. No, dw is always busy typing away at her laptop even when at home. She has this remote connection to office, and will frequently work past midnite. So no surprises that ds considers me as his best friend.

[duriz]

markfch:

I see. No, dw is always busy typing away at her laptop even when at home. She has this remote connection to office, and will frequently work past midnite. So no surprises that ds considers me as his best friend.

I see.
So you and DS are buds.
Just like your Dad and you

[verykiasu2010]

markfch:

And amazingly, dw has never once quarrelled with my parents in these 12 yrs. Isn't that unbelievable?

not unbelievable....wishing you more such good years !

[dunnoleh]

LKVM:

verykiasu2010:

[quote=\"markfch\"]
Since our marriage 12 yrs ago, dw always gave equal shares of her bonuses to both her parents & PILs. My parents were super-pleased, not that they need the money, but it exhibited the immensed respect they had from dw.

And amazingly, dw has never once quarrelled with my parents in these 12 yrs. Isn't that unbelievable?

not unbelievable....wishing you more such good years !

I think its quite unbelievable. :shock:[/quote]to say \"seldom\" these days, I think is already rare.
in your case, \"never\"!
truly incredible!
enjoy your life! :celebrate:

[buds]

markfch:

My parents were super-pleased, not that they need the money, but it exhibited the immensed respect they had from dw.

I may not have been able to give both the same amount of money as my
own mom was sole caregiver to my DD1 then. I also stayed with my folks
for a bit so i needed to contribute more since i'm staying with them. But
such filial initiative from me didn't command the same immense respect
your DW is getting from your side. Never... not even a teeny glimpse,
in fact.

markfch:

And amazingly, dw has never once quarrelled with my parents in these 12 yrs. Isn't that unbelievable?

From the above sharing, what i can deduce is that being a nice chap your
self, i'm sure the genes generated from having nice parents as well.

I visualize happy go lucky kinda nice people.. :love: Easy to get along with.

Totally believable.

Hokay... now for my consideration. :idea:
I can be convinced you'd make a fabulous FIL, hands-on,
understanding, loving, funny, (etc)... but your wifey... how
do you think you'd see her as future MIL? Would she prefer
a working DIL instead of a SAHM since she's career oriented?

What if my DD2 wants to be SAHM to take care of your DS and
their family? :lol:

[markfch]

buds:

From the above sharing, what i can deduce is that being a nice chap your
self, i'm sure the genes generated from having nice parents as well.

Fortunately I get mostly my mum's genes I guess. Get what I'm saying :evil:

buds:

Hokay... now for my consideration. :idea:
I can be convinced you'd make a fabulous FIL, hands-on,
understanding, loving, funny, (etc)... but your wifey... how
do you think you'd see her as future MIL? Would she prefer
a working DIL instead of a SAHM since she's career oriented?

What if my DD2 wants to be SAHM to take care of your DS and
their family? :lol:

Now we are talking business, buds :lol:

Both dw & I seem to have the same concept about the roles of son & dil. You see, it doesn't matter whether we agree or disagree with what views our future dil holds. We've this framework which spells out clearly that once ds marries, for better or worse he belongs totally to his dw. Once married, to ds his dw should come first. Otherwise something is wrong.

Because we already have this mindset, I believe we will try our best not to intrude into the lives of ds & dil. And for the sacrifices that we are making now, we really don't expect anything in return. Even financially, we plan for our own retirement nest independent of future support from ds. You can't expect one person to comfortably support 2 old folks in s'pore.

I think personally the most difficult barrier for me to overcome is in the upbringing of grandkids. I've a certain high expectation of ds. So I may inadvertently misplace the same expectation on grandkids. So I must paste this sticker big big in my bedroom \"My grandchild is not my child, therefore that's my son's responsibility, not mine\" so that I don't become unneccessarily intrusive. :oops:

Talk until so nice hor. Don't know whether when the litmus test comes, can fulfil what I preached or not? But at least the basic idea is there.

[autumnbronze]

Sorry to intrude ...


Markfch, your post - really well said :salute:

[buds]

No intrusion at all. :lol:


Just future PILs talkin.. :rotflmao:

Hey, markfch.. i like your style. :celebrate:
Niwaes, when the time comes... :idea: ... i
suppose, actions will speak louder than words.

As for not intruding into how we raise our future grandchildren..
I don't mind doing the Montessori during pre-school, the EQ and
also to instill the value of money... (even if by then your DS is already
very rich)... you can handle the GEP, DSA Portfolio, PSLE, O, JC, NUS...
Since by then, i may have to work with grandchild #2... #3... etc. And pls,
must let them http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1091&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=110enjoy to at least get to #1 hor. :rotflmao: