No Problem is problem

[buds]

3Boys:

Hi buds,

Dearest 3Boys..

3Boys:

no lah, definitely not model couple. We both have our faults, but we are blessed with supportive parents who help cover child-minding, and thankfully are financially stable. Both these elements help a lot.

Naah, i wasn't insinuating that you two were model couples... i'm sure
as humans there will be occasions where we will be.... well? Humans...
Where we will act out natural human tendencies. :politebleah:

There will come off days where there's more tension... tantrums... deep
freeze days & nites.. (yup, that too! :lol:) Usually it can come from when
one or both are tired... cranky from work or kids... or when just the
hormones doing all the talking.. just one's typical bad day kinda
days.

I do believe too, it is how couples manage all this..

From your postings, i do/would like find out how you come to resolve
those minor misunderstandings... those crappy days... and stuff... i
mean, coming from a man's... (words, actions, thoughts, etc)

My parents are financially stable and more than prepared to enjoy their
silver years unlike my in-laws... hence the many problems on their end
which are causing the most friction between myself and hubs... all of
the years we've been married... not to mention my in-laws also have
relationship issues between themselves... Of course, the children are
at the tail-end of all the drama as well... no matter how i try to shield
them from it... it's really a daily affair thing, which thankfully with god's
blessings, i am less or not a part of these days. I'm reali thankful for
this..

My parents are also the ones who are always ready to provide and at
times even offer the occasional child-minding days.. and telling us to
just go ahead with our plans. They minded the girls for our past years'
anniversaries, kept the children fed, occupied and happy. They also
reminded the girls not to unnecessarilyy call on us if there wasn't
anything important.

They told the children today is whole day with gramps! :love:
(This is what the girls told us when we fetched them back from gramps)

Hubs and i hung out like old times.. Even booked a room to stay the nite
at Changi and talked the nite through reminiscing good times and bad, &
of course the great ones as well.

In retrospect, ILs will get the children to call on us non-stop and ask us
when we are coming back. It is frustrating. Then we come back to dirty,
smelly and worse, sometimes really hungry children.

So, I believe you when you say you have fantastic parental support
& fortunately for you both too.... for both your sides at that! :celebrate:
You ARE definitely blessed. :love:

3Boys:

Certainly we have had our disputes and occasions of deep freeze, but very very very few that have escalated to tears or shouting. Deep down, I love my wife intensely and I kinda think she feels the same way, and we ALWAYS make time for each other, it just seems natural.

The words in bold made me choke a little while typing away..
and a little tear. I suppose this is the very most core foundation
feeling a man must have; to know and to always remember his plc
in the family and in the wife's heart. Hence, never the need for any
distractions... cos such men won't need it (distraction).

3Boys:

One thing we have promised each other is never to take each other for granted.

Can share how this came about...? :please:

3Boys:

All cliches I know, but they apply. I can only give advice from my heart on this, which is that you have to place your spouse FIRST. The mum is more at risk of becoming embroiled in 24/7 child-minding, which in my book is a big mistake and possibly one of the worst things you can do for your family.

This is sound advice. It is a little late for my situation cos my marriage did
crumble a bit the past 2 years or so from my oblivion. Wives should always
remember not to place children in the centre of everything all the time... i
am beginning to know how to find place and time for everything and if i don't
i ain't gonna :stupid: bang my head on the wall over it...

My embroilment over child-minding and ensuring they be good kids had
made me forget (at times) that hubs can mind himself which eventually
led to complacency. The other important thing i learnt is also to take
care of myself. When that's done, i can take care of everyone else much
much better. A final lesson for me was that... Look good to feel good..
Just because we're married (for me a stay home parent too)... it doesn't
mean we must look like frumpy housewives.

I'm still learning... and i hope this time i can do it right. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php

Thanks for your heartfelt sharing... and i really mean heartfelt.
Just the hormones today at work i suppose. But thanks, really..

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php

K, gotta go mind the time now... DD1's having violin lessons. Yikes! :siam:

[3Boys]

buds,

I forgot to add that you definitely got to take care of yourself also. No point running yourself into the ground, no good for anyone.

[dunnoleh]

buds,

buds:

...
Please lah dunnoleh.. THAT is NOT the ONLY reason for men seeking
tender grass. :roll: Men do not need a valid reason in the 1st place
to go for temporary tender-ness...

you are right, this is not the only reason, and for some men, not even a significant one.
In fact, it is my personal believe that a man remain responsible for seeking tender grass, no matter how poor his wife's behaviour may be.
However, this is really subject to each man's values.
And I think today's reality is; many men may not have what it takes to refrain from tasting tender grass, without that little extra bit of \"moral support\" from his wife and family.

buds:

...
Hubs & i are in the process of renewing and rekindling our love ties
that i thought was lost on him...

looks like you and hub are on to something really good, congratulations! and enjoy it!

buds:

...
I'm saying that it is not fair to just ensure \"one\" person tries to
make it/things work. Like they say... it takes two to tango.

it certainly is not fair, and not my intention to point the finger at wives. My apologies if my words appear so. DW and me been together for >20 years and we've realised that. :celebrate:

[autumnbronze]

buds:

3Boys:

Certainly we have had our disputes and occasions of deep freeze, but very very very few that have escalated to tears or shouting. Deep down, I love my wife intensely and I kinda think she feels the same way, and we ALWAYS make time for each other, it just seems natural.

The words in bold made me choke a little while typing away..
and a little tear. I suppose this is the very most core foundation
feeling a man must have; to know and to always remember his plc
in the family and in the wife's heart. Hence, never the need for any
distractions... cos such men won't need it (distraction).

Ya ya, me too buds. I was really touched when I read that. I know I do love my DH intensely and vice versa. But its been sooooo long since I heard him say that ya know, the 'degree' of how much he loves me. I mean, yeah, he does the \"I love you babe\" but hardly ever reveals how much.

So, having nothing better to do and spurred by 3boys' comment/confession, I gave a call to DH and asked him nicely whether does he still love me as intensely as ever. Know what the cheeky fellow replied? \"Sure, depends on what time of the day.\"

:whut:

:faint: :faint:

Think I should find something else better to do when I really have nothing better to do :lol:

psssssssssst buds, don't go down that road ....geddit

and ohhhh, I just love the emoticons. Wish all of them could be added in KSP.

[Eagle-Ladybird]

autumnbronze:

I mean, yeah, he does the \"I love you babe\" but hardly ever reveals how much.

Wow, must also mention intensity ?? :shock:

OK, wifey, I love You, 266kW !! HID xenon beam :lol:

[kiddo]

autumnbronze:

buds:

[quote=\"3Boys\"] Deep down, I love my wife intensely and I kinda think she feels the same way, and we ALWAYS make time for each other, it just seems natural.

The words in bold made me choke a little while typing away..
and a little tear.

:love: :love: :love: :love:

Ya ya, me too buds. I was really touched when I read that. I know I do love my DH intensely and vice versa. I gave a call to DH and asked him nicely nicely whether does he still love me as intensely as ever. Know what the cheeky fellow replied? \"Sure, depends on what time of the day.\"[/quote] :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[autumnbronze]

Eagle-Ladybird:

autumnbronze:

I mean, yeah, he does the \"I love you babe\" but hardly ever reveals how much.

Wow, must also mention intensity ?? :shock:

OK, wifey, I love You, 266kW !! HID xenon beam :lol:

I suppose now you REALLY see the rationale behind the title of this thread huh ....

okie okie, I asked for it

:celebrate:

[3Boys]

autumnbronze:

Ya ya, me too buds. I was really touched when I read that. I know I do love my DH intensely and vice versa. But its been sooooo long since I heard him say that ya know, the 'degree' of how much he loves me. I mean, yeah, he does the \"I love you babe\" but hardly ever reveals how much.


So, having nothing better to do and spurred by 3boys' comment/confession, I gave a call to DH and asked him nicely whether does he still love me as intensely as ever. Know what the cheeky fellow replied? \"Sure, depends on what time of the day.\"

:whut:

:faint: :faint:

hah hah! Some things you just don't joke about

[Sun_2010]

Eagle-Ladybird:

autumnbronze:

I mean, yeah, he does the \"I love you babe\" but hardly ever reveals how much.

Wow, must also mention intensity ?? :shock:

OK, wifey, I love You, 266kW !! HID xenon beam :lol:

Aarrrgghhhh!
Men I tell ya!! :x

Ok laydeez, lets define units of love for them Martians....

[janet88]

I can’t remember when was the last time I heard those 3 words from hubby…my daughter tells me that often, but those 3 words seem to be erased from hubby’s vocab.