which school is this ?
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vicki:
let's draw upon some experiences while growing up and see if it makes sense.
I dont think so leh - I dont think the chart has a \"deviant sex behaviour' included as part of its needs...
Can you imagine the NTU lecturer start lecturing us about the needs and start equating Jack the Ripper's needs into one of those categories!! :shock:
coming from a BIG family...where basic needs are constantly on my mind. even going to school was a big mental struggle..thoughts of putting food on the table was the 1st priorities on my mind, followed by monies to pay for utility...the last worries was going to sch and not able to pay for sch fees (mind you in those days, those cannot afford to pay gets humiliated by the principal in front of the sch during assembly).
once i overcome the lowest levels (by workg part-time), i started to ponder why my classmates had it better..parents attending their Teacher-Parent-Meet..parents to coach them...parents who are around for them.
there were times i felt \"unloved\" so should someone address this part of my needs, who to say i might not succumb to it?? but luckily i had surrogate parent in the form of my eldest sister who tries her best to take care of us though she is just 18yrs old and still schooling.
so for this girl, maybe her basic needs are well taken care but not her emotional needs. so when someone address this aspect of her needs, she might think that it is \"okay\".
we think that it is atrocious that the teacher apparently being the older one should not capitalize on his position and take advantage of a minor but bear in mind we are not in their shoes.
therefore, i feels that her parents should reflect and see if they have indirectly attributed to this problem. could they think that all needs can be financially settled or replaced? -
CookiesMonster:
for those who feel that CookiesMonster reasons are valid justification for such acts,... so for this girl, maybe her basic needs are well taken care but not her emotional needs. so when someone address this aspect of her needs, she might think that it is \"okay\".
we think that it is atrocious that the teacher apparently being the older one should not capitalize on his position and take advantage of a minor but bear in mind we are not in their shoes.
therefore, i feels that her parents should reflect and see if they have indirectly attributed to this problem. could they think that all needs can be financially settled or replaced?
please remind yourself of the punishment for committing statutory rape under Singapore's laws.
This is an instance when I actually appreciate our harsh laws.
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JMHO.
This has nothing to do with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Take away the indicatives, this is about an adult preying on a child. Intentionally, with malice. -
Blobbi:
:goodpost:When a mature adult persuades an innocent minor to have sex with him, it's about his needs, not the minor's. There's a reason for the law about sex with minors - to protect children.
I was in NY once and due to jetlag, ended up watching TV the whole night. There was a rerun of a sting operation conducted by the TV station where 2 actors posed, one as a 9 yo boy and another a 14yo boy, on an internet forum meant for children. They started the conversation with \"I'm home alone today\". Surprise! There were a huge number of adult men who immediately set on getting the boys to reveal their address, saying they'll bring toys to the house and have a little party there. The TV station and police were waiting as the men filed in with condoms and beer in hand. It was completely disgusting. There were at least 20 men, all waiting to have a swinging time.
Most kids don't understand when a \"kind, understanding\" adult wants to be \"good friends\" with them. What's worse, the adult would probably have toyed with the child's emotions by appearing disappointed or being let down if she refuses. This is just completely heinous. -
dunnoleh:
I concur.
for those who feel that CookiesMonster reasons are valid justification for such acts,CookiesMonster:
... so for this girl, maybe her basic needs are well taken care but not her emotional needs. so when someone address this aspect of her needs, she might think that it is \"okay\".
we think that it is atrocious that the teacher apparently being the older one should not capitalize on his position and take advantage of a minor but bear in mind we are not in their shoes.
therefore, i feels that her parents should reflect and see if they have indirectly attributed to this problem. could they think that all needs can be financially settled or replaced?
please remind yourself of the punishment for committing statutory rape under Singapore's laws.
This is an instance when I actually appreciate our harsh laws. -
dunnoleh:
no offense to those who still don't get what i'm getting at. i'm not here to support just sharing what i've seen and heard. i drew upon Maslow cos all human beings have needs. could the girl be emotionally neglected thus putting her in such position?
for those who feel that CookiesMonster reasons are valid justification for such acts, please remind yourself of the punishment for committing statutory rape under Singapore's laws.
This is an instance when I actually appreciate our harsh laws.
imo, parenting is an on-going process and i have friends teaching in secondary sch who shared stories of kids gone wayward all because the parents are not around for the kids.
yes, in such situation, teacher must have the interests of their wards at heart but at the end of the day, parent must have the COMMON SENSE to know that they cannot expect the role of \"parenting\" to be taken on by teacher.
it would be hard for parent to take a step back let alone the members here to see if there's any cause and effect that resulted in this unfortunate incident.
so chill to those whose feathers i've ruffled -
So the Maslow’s theory thing is in reference to the girl not the teacher issit?
I think a lot of things have to do with how parents are guiding their kids but at some point we also have to stop saying it is the parents, it is the parents, it is the parents.
If we keep saying that, then it is also the teacher’s parents’ fault that he is preying on teenagers. So when is it ever going to be 一人做事一人当？
As for the girl, maybe she is lacking parental concern or care or maybe she is just an impressionable teenager who got carried away by hormones and the flattery of having the attention of a person whom she could truly look up to or even have a crush on. Or the girl may be ‘mature’ beyond her years, precocious and not all that innocent afterall.
Whatever it is, having sex with a minor is not acceptable, it is criminal, even if it is the minor who seduced the adult. -
yes, maslow’s theory is indeed referring to the girl.
indeed the "onus" have to stop somewhere and these 2 individuals have to face their actions regardless of consensual or not.
just a parting food for thought "should the minor be then excused for her mistake as it is but a "folly of youth"? -
Heyo Cookies Monster.
I do get what you’re saying. But two wrongs don’t make a right. And is it the wrong of the parents to begin with? Some teens are disaffected no matter the effort of the parents (I’m rolling my eyes at myself when I think back). And seriously in this day and age when the cost of living is so high, we hope the entire family can play their part - the parents to make money to keep the family going, and the kids to understand that the parents can’t always hand-hold them.
For the minor, a mistake due to innocence should not be held against them; they are only learning. We only seek to protect them. For the adult, it is an intentional crime. He ought to be castrated, oops incarcerated. -
i know where u r coming from too. unfortunately, kids will be kids. how do u expect them to understand the difficulties of life?
granted there will be some parents slaving away just to put food on the table but equally there are others who are just not mentally prepared to take on the role of being a parent.
where the minor in question committed such mistake due to innocence/media influence or not we won’t know. however, she has to be educated on the errors too. otherwise, how can adult guide her back to the right path?
oh by the by, i strongly agreed the teacher should be penalized as he has violated the sacred trust.
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