toddler misbehaving only with mom!

[meiah]

riash:

Hi my DS1 is 2.5yrs old and he is a gem of a boy with everyone except me, his mom! when i am around he totally misbehaves, screams and shouts and even doesn't eat! i really don't know why he is like this and more importantly, its so upsetting for me. i was on leave today and he didn't eat his bfast and lunch. i have to physically be away from him and then he will eat or sleep. otherwise he looks for me, whines and wants me - but doesn't do a thing i suggest. sigh. what am i doing wrong - i spend a lot of time with him, more than i do with my DS2 who is one. DS1 will greet me by climbing onto the dining table when i come home. HELP!!

Hi,

Hee hee. Mine is exactly opp yours. My dd is abt 2.8 yo and she is naughty with everyone except me. I also work ft. Maybe cos I always carry out my threats, so she knows I mean it. For example, if I asked her to go to the bedroom, I will count to 3. At 1 and 2, she will ignore me, shake her butt, sing a song but at 3, she will dash to the room! Then she will pretend to be good and try to \"read\" a book. Even in the car, she would sit quietly all belt up but if she is with grandparents, she would scream to be in the driver's seat.

But even though she kind of fear me, she would still look for me to get her daily mega dose of hugs and kisses.

[riash]

thank you all for sharing really appreciate it! i hope my younger boy doesn't go thru this!


meiah - think i need tips on how you managed to get your daughter to listen to you! or is it cos she's a gal

[meiah]

riash:

thank you all for sharing really appreciate it! i hope my younger boy doesn't go thru this!


meiah - think i need tips on how you managed to get your daughter to listen to you! or is it cos she's a gal

I'm not sure about that though. Maybe I'm just mean lah.

Actually, have to be very patient and don't give up. My 123 didn't work initially. She would just continue to ignore. So after counting to 3, I would go grab her despite her screaming for help! I would also scold her and sometimes if she persist in making noise, she would get smack on her leg. She would cry but then I would give her a kiss and a hug to reassure her. She's also very clingy and attention seeking. After some time, she understood and automatically move even if she is doing her favourite thing. So getting her to ready for bath, sleep, drink, change, whatever became somewhat a breeze. :love:

She behaves differently with dh and grandparents. She can be quite defiant. Maybe the reason is they are always obliging her and her wishes so she takes advantage whenever possible.

I also have 2 ds but they are much older now. They also would not try to be very funny with me. :x

Basically, I think is to be reassuring, firm, persistent (and fierce if you have to).

[Rio]

My boy at 3.5 still "bully" me. He refuse to eat vegetable whenever I feed him. Wants to b carried ONLY BY ME when we go out. Whines at me even when I am attending lesson with him. But he doesn’t do that to my helper. Even the class teacher noted a drastic difference in him whenever my helper bring him to class. She says he can perform excellent with my helper, but never with me…


So now my helper "forbid" me to feed my boy, cos it will take 2 hrs with all the tug of war, whereas she will take just 20 min. N we take alternate turn to bring him to classes so as to maximize his learning.

[riash]

guys and gals, same story still for me. helper out for xmas. son din eat a meal today, just snacks! sigh, wonder what he needs me for. better to live with my helper, less stress for my son. does this phase go away?

[cnimed]

Probably you are too soft with him. If my children dare refuse their meals they will not get anything else from me. At the very most they can tell me they are not hungry yet and prefer to eat the food a little later butit’s still the same food. If anyone sneak their candies before meals the whole pack goes down the rubbish chute. You must draw your line and stand by it. If you are not prepared to then don’t tell the child anything. This way the child knows that if you say something, you really mean it.

[riash]

yes deminc,i guess i am soft. but i do shout and sometimes even smack him, he’s too playful…he will just scream and shout louder. then start throwing things around. i will just walk away.

sometimes no energy to reason with him, he makes everything difficult!

[riash]

Rio:

My boy at 3.5 still \"bully\" me. He refuse to eat vegetable whenever I feed him. Wants to b carried ONLY BY ME when we go out. Whines at me even when I am attending lesson with him. But he doesn't do that to my helper. Even the class teacher noted a drastic difference in him whenever my helper bring him to class. She says he can perform excellent with my helper, but never with me....


So now my helper \"forbid\" me to feed my boy, cos it will take 2 hrs with all the tug of war, whereas she will take just 20 min. N we take alternate turn to bring him to classes so as to maximize his learning.

rio, at what age did your son start behaving this way? i also get my helper to do all the feeding. so much so i hv to stay away till he finish eating, if he sees me, thats the end of eating. sometimes he will ask me to feed him, so i will explain to him that i would love to feed him but if he starts playing a fool or whining etc i will walk away. he's fine, and he will always whine and not eat!!!

[kboon2009]

Hi parents

Is it true that after kids get over the terrible twos stage they will be better behaved? Easier for parents to feed and shower? My 2.7year old daughter is so naughty and active that even feeding and shower her tires me so much everyday, and leave me with no energy to do shichida home practice and read to her everyday (I’m a FTWM). She takes more than 1 hour for her meals and for showers she will run around and take her own sweet time to go into the bathroom.

[cherrygal]

Hi kboon2009

Yes, it usually gets better after three+, assuming the child is a perfectly normal kid - no asperger, ADHD etc. You just need to exert your authority as a parent during these trying times. I believe you must start to teach her what is discipline. Your job is to always mean what you say (use simple language that she understands).

If you tell her she can't have a sweet if she does not obey you, then make sure you don't give any sweets to her until she does, even if she starts crying. Don't ever flinch. Once you do, she would always use tears to get what she wants. Be consistent and firm.

Once this authority is set, the journey will be much smoother.

Today at a parenting talk, one parent shared that she has trouble getting her P1 son to stop playing multiple-player online games that are extremely violent. He absolutely refuses to switch the PC off. The counsellor advised that she must exert her authority as a parent. Move the PC to the living room, set time limits and observe them strictly. She should switch off the PC herself if he refuses. Parents must never treat their kids as lords from a young age. You must instil control and self-control from the day they understand what you are saying. It is too late once they reach their teens.