In-law problems?
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qizai:
u r right!
The reason why she was super distrustful of maid is because maid can do all that she can... The more capable the maid is, the more she would distrust her..24hr-mum:
to elaborate, my mil was super distrustful of my maid even tho she was transferred from my godfather's son's - tried n tested to be reliable. even tho my maid has worked for me for 3+ yrs already, my mil is still the same.
she wld rather go out and buy lunch for me than let my maid cook for me if she (my mil) has no time to cook for me.
mils are not necessarily 'free'. some dils gv their mil salary but i dont.
cos she is stayg in my plc. not the other way round.
tho my mil just 70yo, 20 yr younger than phankao's mil, i dont trust her to take care of my kids alone. so i always bring my kids out. n that's why i quit after #2 was born, to care for the kids. cos my kids super active, she cant handle. if the child says dont want to eat certain food, she nvr train n nvr insist. always led by the nose by my girl. i wonder who is the grandparent sometimes. my girl or she?
it wasnt a cheap option. we rented a condo for her stay n paid heavily at first, becos she had her own hse (she had bad memories there as her own mil stayed wif her too) but dont want to stay there n left it vacant for many years until it was sold some time back to pay for the rental. -
24hr-mum:
The 2 old ones have a 3 room of their own...that house cannot be sold...but earlier she wanted to sell the flat to move to US...I didn't rejoice because selling it means she has no place to stay if not used to life there. Cannot, cannot. One is bossy and dramatic, while the old man is sly even though he looks henpecked... 笨猪吃老虎 type.i had only 2 yrs of freedom after marriage before mil moved in with bil.
tho mil left now, i m not sure what happens if she falls sick one day -
Off topic…but actually, I think i have more problems with my Dad than with the in laws…my in-laws are no saints but would rather live with my in-laws than with my Dad!!
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its basically generation gap. the salt era vs our no-salt era
i nvr believe extended families will work…quite difficult even for 3 kids to get along well in the same family
i told my kids, if u dont want to share, go find another mummy n daddy n u be the only child ok? -
I cannot imagine staying together with them, not even for a day. No thanks. It’s worse having to stay with his other siblings and their spouses. This will never work out bcos 同住难. We all have our own ways of doing things and I’m particular about hygiene.
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janet_lee88:
I cannot imagine staying together with them, not even for a day. No thanks. It's worse having to stay with his other siblings and their spouses. This will never work out bcos 同住难. We all have our own ways of doing things and I'm particular about hygiene.
Haha! On the point about hygiene, it's so hard to get DS1 to go to the toilet in my in-law's place because he complains the toilet is dirty (wet toilet, and they don't use the toilet flush, they use rain/laundry water, so there's always a smell...)! -
rain water? wont hv mosquito breeding?
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janet_lee88:
I cannot imagine staying together with them, not even for a day. No thanks... This will never work out bcos 同住难. We all have our own ways of doing things and I'm particular about hygiene.
janet_lee88 - fully agree. and it is not just hygiene, it is also the way they look after the children and how MIL pits one child against the other! :!: and she's the one (ironically) trying to tbe fair to both SIL and myself and often I find that she doesn't dare to \"give her colours\" coz SIL is spoilt.
But guess who's at the receiving end of it all of her \"unfairness\"? Me and my girls. The kids are increasingly distancing themselves from her coz she's so two-faced. But I feel sad coz I know the time that they grow old enough not to be able to take care of themselves, BIL and SIL would :siam: -
if ur mil doesnt like u, its ‘good’ as in she wont demand u to do this n that for her (hopefully). mine used to expect me to do this n that eg go doctor, dentist, buy shoes… cos she stayed wif me…n i wld hv to drag the kids along…
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stayed with them during confinement (just one freaky month!) and it totally tarnish whatever good impression i had on them before the baby was born.
so far, i haven’t heard any good MILs so far, at least in my circle of friends.
rather sad isn’t it?
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