In-law problems?
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24hr-mum:
The reason why she was super distrustful of maid is because maid can do all that she can... The more capable the maid is, the more she would distrust her..to elaborate, my mil was super distrustful of my maid even tho she was transferred from my godfather's son's - tried n tested to be reliable. even tho my maid has worked for me for 3+ yrs already, my mil is still the same.
she wld rather go out and buy lunch for me than let my maid cook for me if she (my mil) has no time to cook for me. -
phankao:
You nv read that my MIL is v old, ah? She's 90+yrs old. What \"maid\"?! Even 12years ago already I've not dared leave my kids alone with her. She can't even hear my baby cry! Only when she walk right in front of baby, then she say \"eh, baby crying you know?!\" (well, actually we all know lah). Even when I went out for work appointments, i brought all 3 of them along with me back then when they were just 7 years and below.[/quote]Oops... my mistake
phankao, the silver lining is you have a \"free maid\", and your hubby and you can go pakor whenever you like, without worrying about leaving the kids alone at home...qizai:
[quote=\"phankao\"]
The only alternative is MIL or my mum go stay in old folks' home lor. But hubs won't ever agree. But yes, it would be nice to have a much larger place. Not everyone can afford. We don't have a study room. Our kids study in whatever available space they can find, be it on the dining table, their own room, beds, window ledge, balcony, etc. Our room is not that big either, unlike yours. I strangely have a disapproportionately large bathroom. But .... i no longer talk to my MIL - give up liao! Waste energy! :roll:
:imsorry:
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qizai:
u r right!
The reason why she was super distrustful of maid is because maid can do all that she can... The more capable the maid is, the more she would distrust her..24hr-mum:
to elaborate, my mil was super distrustful of my maid even tho she was transferred from my godfather's son's - tried n tested to be reliable. even tho my maid has worked for me for 3+ yrs already, my mil is still the same.
she wld rather go out and buy lunch for me than let my maid cook for me if she (my mil) has no time to cook for me.
mils are not necessarily 'free'. some dils gv their mil salary but i dont.
cos she is stayg in my plc. not the other way round.
tho my mil just 70yo, 20 yr younger than phankao's mil, i dont trust her to take care of my kids alone. so i always bring my kids out. n that's why i quit after #2 was born, to care for the kids. cos my kids super active, she cant handle. if the child says dont want to eat certain food, she nvr train n nvr insist. always led by the nose by my girl. i wonder who is the grandparent sometimes. my girl or she?
it wasnt a cheap option. we rented a condo for her stay n paid heavily at first, becos she had her own hse (she had bad memories there as her own mil stayed wif her too) but dont want to stay there n left it vacant for many years until it was sold some time back to pay for the rental. -
24hr-mum:
The 2 old ones have a 3 room of their own...that house cannot be sold...but earlier she wanted to sell the flat to move to US...I didn't rejoice because selling it means she has no place to stay if not used to life there. Cannot, cannot. One is bossy and dramatic, while the old man is sly even though he looks henpecked... 笨猪吃老虎 type.i had only 2 yrs of freedom after marriage before mil moved in with bil.
tho mil left now, i m not sure what happens if she falls sick one day -
Off topic…but actually, I think i have more problems with my Dad than with the in laws…my in-laws are no saints but would rather live with my in-laws than with my Dad!!
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its basically generation gap. the salt era vs our no-salt era
i nvr believe extended families will work…quite difficult even for 3 kids to get along well in the same family
i told my kids, if u dont want to share, go find another mummy n daddy n u be the only child ok? -
I cannot imagine staying together with them, not even for a day. No thanks. It’s worse having to stay with his other siblings and their spouses. This will never work out bcos 同住难. We all have our own ways of doing things and I’m particular about hygiene.
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janet_lee88:
I cannot imagine staying together with them, not even for a day. No thanks. It's worse having to stay with his other siblings and their spouses. This will never work out bcos 同住难. We all have our own ways of doing things and I'm particular about hygiene.
Haha! On the point about hygiene, it's so hard to get DS1 to go to the toilet in my in-law's place because he complains the toilet is dirty (wet toilet, and they don't use the toilet flush, they use rain/laundry water, so there's always a smell...)! -
rain water? wont hv mosquito breeding?
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janet_lee88:
I cannot imagine staying together with them, not even for a day. No thanks... This will never work out bcos 同住难. We all have our own ways of doing things and I'm particular about hygiene.
janet_lee88 - fully agree. and it is not just hygiene, it is also the way they look after the children and how MIL pits one child against the other! :!: and she's the one (ironically) trying to tbe fair to both SIL and myself and often I find that she doesn't dare to \"give her colours\" coz SIL is spoilt.
But guess who's at the receiving end of it all of her \"unfairness\"? Me and my girls. The kids are increasingly distancing themselves from her coz she's so two-faced. But I feel sad coz I know the time that they grow old enough not to be able to take care of themselves, BIL and SIL would :siam:
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