Vulgar words

[ZacK]

Hi Rocklee,


First of all, you shd congratulate yourself as DS1 approached you to clarify his doubts, what would be worse is that he ask his peers instead of you who may then tell him it’s alright to say those words.

I would do as what Jedamum said by emphasizing that those words are bad and offensive, and would ultimately hurt the person who hears those words. For our family even words like stupid is not used because it’s derogatory in nature, we use words like silly instead. It is certainly a challenge as our kids are exposed to so many elements outside of the home, so just have to constantly remind and emphasize to our kids that certainly things are a "No-No" whenever we encounter them saying or doing things that we do not agree with.

I am thankful that when I was growing up, our family did not use such words (altho I vaguely recalled my father having used vulgar words a few times but very rarely) that it sounded very weird for anyone in my family to use those words. When I was serving my national service, it was not surprising to hear the F*** and CB words on a daily basis, I even tried saying those words quietly to myself and concluded that it’s just not me and never said those words henceforth.

So I guess if you are able to create and internalise the culture of not using inappropriate words in your family, I am sure your boy will automatically conclude that those words are inappropriate and will instead choose to use other more "neutral" words to describe one’s sentiments without sounding offensive.

[daisyt]

When my girl was in P5, she also picked up vulgarities from those boys. There are many vulgar words in her blog and diary and once, she accidentally said in front of us when she was angry. I told her, we don't like it and its strictly not allowed in the family. However, if she choose to continue, daddy and I would go along with her. We can become the vulgar family, if she wants. Immediately she stopped because she did not want us to speak vulgar words with her. Nowadays, whenever she read back her old diary, she would tell me \"I could not believe I was so vulgar in the past. This is so embarrasing.\"


This is just my personal experience, it might not be correct but it worked. :lol:

[rocklee]

Thanks for all your advice.

[quote]what would be worse is that he ask his peers instead of you who may then tell him it's alright to say those words.[/quote]In fact, DS1 asked those boys about the meaning when he first heard them. And these boys explained to him that the word meant \"peeing\". I almost :faint: When my DS2 heard our conversation, he jumped down from the sofa and shouted, \" I know this word becos so and so always use this word!\" To my surprise, such words came out from a P1 girl's mouth. I was :shock: ! I guess there is no way I can control what these pupils say so I just have to constantly remind them not to use such words at all.
[quote]For our family even words like stupid is not used [/quote]Me too. I don't allow my children to use words like stupid or fools or any words that sound rude. Sometimes I unknowingly used the word \"stupid\", such as \"this show is stupid\", my DS1 will immediately correct me.

I think somehow it is inevitable that kids will pick up some ill behaviour in school. As the chinese saying goes , it takes 3 years to learn the good but only 3 days to learn the bad. So we, as parents, just have to be constantly on the look out.

[turquoise]

I’m sure all our kids are exposed to unsavoury swear words in school. However, I hope we are able to teach them well enough not to use the words themselves.


My dd was telling me how this sweet little innocent-looking P3 girl let off a string of expletives when provoked. :!: The teacher had to take her aside.

[KS_me]

I can relate to this topic for sure!


My son, P1, was being affected by the vulgar too! same place "school bus!".

What happened was he came home one day told me that the "so & so" scolded him F*** in the school bus and he was affected by his word because he knows these are hurtful words. I got very :x when I heard abt this and immediately that night I wrote an email to the principal hoping she could help me address the issue. (you may think I’m abit "siao" and "too emotional" over such small matter but I can’t tolerate my P1 was scolded using these unwanted words immediately 3 months after he entered the school environment!)

On the next day, The principal (after receiving my email) went to each and every class of P1 to warn all P1 pupils not to use "vulgar" and ensure them that they will be punished if they are being heard.

I don’t care if it is effective but I’m happy and appreciate the efforts of the principal despite her busy schedules, she was there to instill the good value in her pupils when she sees the needs.

[nmhmum]

By the way, may I know that the word "P****" ( boys private part ) consider a vulgar word? My neighbour’s son keeps on saying this word in front of my kids whenever he is angry. I told my kids not to follow what the boy says because to me I don’t find it pleasant to the ear. What is your view? Do you think this word is consider "vulgar"?

[RRMummy]

nmhmum:

By the way, may I know that the word \"P****\" ( boys private part ) consider a vulgar word? My neighbour's son keeps on saying this word in front of my kids whenever he is angry. I told my kids not to follow what the boy says because to me I don't find it pleasant to the ear. What is your view? Do you think this word is consider \"vulgar\"?

err.. I don't think it is the word per se but the context it is said that defines if a word is vulgar or not.. BTW, my 3yo was introduced to the word 'vagina' by her CC teacher who matter-a-factly tells her the non-baby-talk name of her private part... :!: I first got a shock but then after reading one of the articles by insider and some feedbacks, now I think it is ok..

Also, labelling the words like penis and vagina vulgar would make explanation of birds and bees extremely complicated in the future...

I would choose to tell my kids, these are names of private parts and and as such should be kept private.. like we do not go around 'showing off' our private parts in public.. I'm sure my gals reaction would be 'EEEyucks' when i make them imagine it that way.. :lol:

Just my 2 cents worth..

p/s.. then again these words said in hokkien definitely considered vulgar words leh.. :?

[nmhmum]

RRMummy:

nmhmum:

By the way, may I know that the word \"P****\" ( boys private part ) consider a vulgar word? My neighbour's son keeps on saying this word in front of my kids whenever he is angry. I told my kids not to follow what the boy says because to me I don't find it pleasant to the ear. What is your view? Do you think this word is consider \"vulgar\"?

err.. I don't think it is the word per se but the context it is said that defines if a word is vulgar or not.. BTW, my 3yo was introduced to the word 'vagina' by her CC teacher who matter-a-factly tells her the non-baby-talk name of her private part... :!: I first got a shock but then after reading one of the articles by insider and some feedbacks, now I think it is ok..

Also, labelling the words like penis and vagina vulgar would make explanation of birds and bees extremely complicated in the future...

I would choose to tell my kids, these are names of private parts and and as such should be kept private.. like we do not go around 'showing off' our private parts in public.. I'm sure my gals reaction would be 'EEEyucks' when i make them imagine it that way.. :lol:

Just my 2 cents worth..

p/s.. then again these words said in hokkien definitely considered vulgar words leh.. :?

Ya, totally agree with you. If the word \"penis\" is said in Hokkien, then definitely consider vulgar. I find it hard to accept if my kids keep on mentioning this word to me. Maybe I am not so open-minded. Anyway RRmummy, thanks for your view.

[RRMummy]

nmhmum:

I find it hard to accept if my kids keep on mentioning this word to me. Maybe I am not so open-minded. Anyway RRmummy, thanks for your view.

Yup, I also agree, if my gals keep mentioning the word I will also get worried with the 'obsession'...

[en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg]

When ds was in K2, he happily told his MT teacher that he is going to have his penis (not spoken in English and it sound gross) cut. He grew up in English speaking environment. What he said aloud was actually what his classmate told him. He has no idea that the word he uttered was actually vulgar. I was called by the teacher and was told of this incident. Lucky for him that he was known not to be proficient in MT. So all is well but I warned him not to use the word ever again.


My dd came back on the very 1st day of P1 taking school bus and started explaining to me. Mum, it’s not "pop" as you always say it. My friend told me the correct word to use is "fart" and must pronounce properly. Otherwise, it will sound ending with "ck". Well, what a way to start her first day in school.