Do you resent your husband spending money on his family?
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What happened if hubby always say he doesnt have spare cash, yet doesnt reject his parents when they ask for more $ to buy expensive tonics, give that who and who how much for the wedding/birthday?
Do u get irritated/angry? -
This is always being the issue for two parties from different background get married and lived together.
Yet, this will extend to different family background such as parents demanding more and never satisfied, this need to live within needs.
But there bound to have children who take things for granted and always lived on parents even though they are married without giving any allowances.
Therefore, it is still best to manage the own finances. -
Ok with it if it is within means and reasonable.
Not ok if it is been taken adv of.
Luckily so far i dont have $$ issues cos inlaws (fil, mil, bil) and my faimly all ver zi dong.
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I don't mind if it is for monthly expenses, special occasions eg birthdays, trips and etc or if it is for medical reasons. BUT I do resent if it is to settle gambling debts esp repeatedly. :roll:
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RRMummy:
I third all that :celebrate:[/quote]I 4th that...although i m a husband, that still stands in the wife version.duriz:
[quote=\"ksi\"]No, he is first a son, then a husband, then a dad.
:goodpost:
I second that.
And I also agree with vk2010, as long as it's within our means.
daughter, wife, mother.
debt wise, for parents can but siblings are expected to chip in. siblings debt then no no. debt aka loansharks, instalments, finance company and banks etc. -
my husband issued a supplementary card to one of his married sisters but she rarely pay to him and when i asked him about it, he always said: it's ok, I can afford it. But question is this SIL is spending on fine dining, online purchases and shopping even though her salary cannot support her spending. Her spending habits are so bad her husband actually quoted this as one of the reasons he divorced her. She has chocked up almost $4,700 over the past year and even got the cheek to buy expensive chocolate for my son but I told my son it's actually his father paying for it. :mad: :mad: :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
it doesnt matter how sil uses the card or how much/often she pays her bill herself, as long as your dh is fine with it, then just let it be.
she is after all his family too. just make sure there is a limit to the spending.
maybe $4700 for the past year is not a big sum (and as you did mentioned she does pay back a portion of it) as your dh is not kicking up a fuss or running into debt.
hmmmm, for the chocolate thingy, i wont say it was actually his dad paying for it (cos i dont want my kids to be part of this resentment). -
LOLMum:
though he said he can afford to pay for her, I have to remind him that our family is dependant on him solely and this kind of expenditure is uncalled for and he should not allow her to spend with no limit.hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........
it doesnt matter how sil uses the card or how much/often she pays her bill herself, as long as your dh is fine with it, then just let it be.
she is after all his family too. just make sure there is a limit to the spending.
maybe $4700 for the past year is not a big sum (and as you did mentioned she does pay back a portion of it) as your dh is not kicking up a fuss or running into debt.
hmmmm, for the chocolate thingy, i wont say it was actually his dad paying for it (cos i dont want my kids to be part of this resentment).
Initially she even ask around if anyone can lend money for her son to buy a car (he's 22 and just got his licence) but no one bother to answer bec that is a huge committment.
our of the $4,700, she paid twice and the amount was less than $200.
besides, he is stingy on himself and will only replace his shoes when the heel wears out or there's a hole :yikes:
This is why I feel he got his priority wrong or maybe he just cannot say no to his family -
Believe most of us have some baseline.....as long as not overboard, should be ok. Personally, I used to feel bad for my DH who is the eldest and always giving up for the family. When we both worked, we didn't go anywhere too cos' he has to support family. Even when his siblings started working, he was still the main provider cos' they earn less....so he would not spend on himself (and would at times forbid me cos' I need to save for OUR own family so that he can he can support his). I wasn't exactly happy about it, but willing to do it for him.
This went on for years....until I started feeling it's getting ridiculous....cos' while he remains frugal, the rest are happily spending (branded stuff, holiday, restaurant etc). The siblings are already earning better salary, why should DH still be the one footing the main bulk? Finally when I saw how they actually splurge on 2 pairs of branded toddlers shoes (same size somemore which can only last ~6 months) I put my foot down. Not fair to stop me from getting better quality stuff for my kids and then, fund them right? So enough is enough. If they have that kind of ability now, then let's be fairer.....60/40 is fine, but not 80/20. Finally, DH saw my point. Now at least the burden lessen, but once in a while still Ok lah.
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DH is generous with his family. My PIL are actually quite well-off, but my MIL, who controls the purse-strings, doesn’t like to spend money unnecessarily (e.g. she has never given our kids any birthday presents cos they already have so many toys). But DH still gives his parents a nice monthly allowance. I don’t mind. He has more than enough. Also, I know that he will not be forced to spend against his will.
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