New Daddy BLUES !! HELP NEEDED !!:pray:

[EASON MAGPIES]

RRMummy:

Hi Eason M,


It is heart-warming to know a father who wants to bond so much.

I agree totally in spending quality time with your little one and what Chenoceau said also applied to both my gals..

But just a little something off my head...in your eagerness to bond, maybe you should not pull her away from Mummy to spend quality time together. I'm just wondering if it will kinda backfire if you push too hard coz she will feel that once you come home you will try to tear her away from mummy dearest.

I would suggest instead to do fun and silly things together just the 3 of you. Sing and dance together. Make Sunday your family outing day either to fly kites, go to playgrounds, etc etc. Let her see that she does not have to choose mummy instead of daddy.

When the gals were your DD's age and younger, my DH will swing them like an aeroplane or throw them around and tickle them silly when he gets home.. they gradually grew to realize that mummy had no such strenght to play like that.. so DH became THE one they looked for when they wanted to play. As for me, I still remain to be the one they will definitely prefer for bedtime. :love:

It will take time, she may ignore you for awhile when mama's around but hang in there. It is said by many that little girls will always grow to be closer to their daddies. :roll:

I guess my eagerness to bond is partly because of 2 reasons. Firstly I was not closed to my dad at all only my mum. Secondly we have already decided she will be our only child.

Thanks for the suggestion. I did think of that too. She may think of me as the bad guy who tear her away from her mummy.

We do have weekend outing. Usually I will bring her out to spend some time together. My DW will then come later and 3 of us would go dinner together.

The thing is she is ok to be with me and laugh and plays with me when we are alone but once her mummy appears, she will quickly drop me and run away. Same thing happens also when we are in the room.

But I guess it really does take effort and time.

[Sun_2010]

Eason magpies, you are on the right track, just ease up, don't stress yourself over this ...


And like others who have suggested, you have to complement your wife not compete. It's said that the best thing a father can do for the child is love the mother...

Maybe this will help you
http://www.fathers.com/content/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=295&Itemid=63

Happy bonding!!

[RRMummy]

Ah.. then it sure sounds to me that you have already got all the ingredients right.. just give your love pie a little more love heat and time.. it will definitely come out nice and yummylicious! :love:


She is so lucky to have you! You will reap your reward in time..

:celebrate:

[EASON MAGPIES]

Thanks to all your suggestion.


Glad to report things have improved a little bit bit since I last post. She now allows me to put on to sleep the last 3 nights. I read to her while she is having her supper milk then before her milk runs out I stop and off the light.

Usually if she falls asleep right away after she finished her milk then not a problem but if she still awakes she will then get up and crawl out to find her mum but last 3 nights she didn’t and just look at me with her big eyes. It was dark but I think I even saw a smile.

It is really quite a satisfying experience. Seems my DD is even harder to woo than her mum. Ha

Now I am worrying about another matter - her speech delayed !!

No wonder the old Chinese saying " Bring up kids to 100 years old, worry 99 of them"

[MadScientist]

well done Daddy...


now just enjoy the moment, and stop worrying about the future.

baby steps... baby steps...

[Sun_2010]

Great job Eason!


One thing we must definitely learn from children - live the moment

[RRMummy]

EASON MAGPIES:

...get up and crawl out to find her mum but last 3 nights she didn't and just look at me with her big eyes. It was dark but I think I even saw a smile.


It is really quite a satisfying experience. Seems my DD is even harder to woo than her mum. Ha

Now I am worrying about another matter - her speech delayed !!

No wonder the old Chinese saying \" Bring up kids to 100 years old, worry 99 of them\"

:rahrah: :congrats: Eason magpies! Your preserverance paid off :rahrah:

:imcool: :boogie: :imcool: :boogie:

Cherish the moments.. and I agree with MadScientist.. small baby steps..

[MadScientist]

EASON MAGPIES:

I read to her while she is having her supper milk then before her milk runs out I stop and off the light.

I just realized after re-reading...

You might want to retune that when teeth are out properly, before it becomes a habit...
Tooth milk stains or decay may set in... When she's old enough, you can do the honors of talking to her while brushing her teeth. It's a good bonding time... And very settling too for the kids if done well.

Cheers!

[buds]

Sun_2010:

It's said that the best thing a father can do for the child is love the mother...

Heyya Sun_2010, just had to tell ya that i love what you shared above.
It is very heartwarming. :hugs: Thanks for this.

[buds]

EASON MAGPIES:

It was dark but I think I even saw a smile. It is really quite a satisfying experience. Seems my DD is even harder to woo than her mum. Ha

Heyya there EASON MAGPIES, i'm a silent follower of your journey in fatherhood with your only daughter and at times i find myself choking in sheer pride as i follow your triumphs and at times i too am sad inside reading your anguish and worry over bonding issues... the mommy thingies and all... :hugs: You are an exemplary daddy and definitely one who loves unconditionally. I too agree with MadScientist with regards to enjoying the baby (steps) mini successes which will give you more fuel to charge on to the bigger challenges ahead. Your daughter is extremely fortunate to have you as her father and your wifey is fortunate to have a very involved husband and father. :love:

EASON MAGPIES:

Now I am worrying about another matter - her speech delayed !!

Feel free to PM me should you require any assistance with regards to the above. I will be happy to help you out. I may have some relevant experiences though not that vast a vessel, but should be enough to walk you thru some doubts you may have. Just had to drop you this note to tell you that you are not alone should you need anything that i can assist within my means.

You take care now and keep your love alive for your family.

All my love..

Best Regards,
buds...