Club SAHM

[BeContented]

Same here!!


When I complain big time, quickly pacify....but u can sense his REAL feelings....think I quite enjoy life. :rant:

[janet88]

ectanz:

Used to tell my hb that I can't afford to fall sick as nobody will be assuming my duties. In terms of dd1's education, hb is quite bochap. If asks him to coach dd1 on her study, both of them will end up watching tv and surfing Internet. As for dd2, she will start to wail the moment she with hb. Less than 5 mins, hb began to lose his temper and shouted at her. I hv to intervene and comfort dd2 in order to stop her from crying.

Hb also never lay his fingers on household chores. He keeps saying that he doesn't know how the things works or too lazy to move about. He will juz lying on bed motionlessly. He used to say that I am staying at home comfortably whereas he needs to work hard for our living. Household chores and kids should be my responsibilities. :stompfeet:

I can definitely identify with that...it happens every night when I have to hang up wet laundry. He can't even coach her for spelling :slapshead:

Last Sunday, I experienced the worst ever mood...so bad I wanted to walk out.

When we had a maid, he could afford to be lazy...but very pissed off with the maid's attitude. Now that there is no maid, he does help out with some housework like mopping and keeping/folding clothes. Where kids are concerned, I remind him that he has to do HIS PART to coach them...I cannot split myself into 2 right ? :stompfeet:

[jedamum]

janet_lee88:

ectanz:

Used to tell my hb that I can't afford to fall sick as nobody will be assuming my duties. In terms of dd1's education, hb is quite bochap. If asks him to coach dd1 on her study, both of them will end up watching tv and surfing Internet. As for dd2, she will start to wail the moment she with hb. Less than 5 mins, hb began to lose his temper and shouted at her. I hv to intervene and comfort dd2 in order to stop her from crying.

Hb also never lay his fingers on household chores. He keeps saying that he doesn't know how the things works or too lazy to move about. He will juz lying on bed motionlessly. He used to say that I am staying at home comfortably whereas he needs to work hard for our living. Household chores and kids should be my responsibilities. :stompfeet:

I can definitely identify with that...it happens every night when I have to hang up wet laundry. He can't even coach her for spelling :slapshead:

Last Sunday, I experienced the worst ever mood...so bad I wanted to walk out.

When we had a maid, he could afford to be lazy...but very pissed off with the maid's attitude. Now that there is no maid, he does help out with some housework like mopping and keeping/folding clothes. Where kids are concerned, I remind him that he has to do HIS PART to coach them...I cannot split myself into 2 right ? :stompfeet:

janet, ectanz,
my husband expects me to clean the house and teach the kids. any stuff that he offers to help is on a 'goodwill' basis as 'unspoken' rule, he brings home the bacon, i tend the nest. the alternative is that i go out to work and i still have to tend the nest. i just that he has lower standards (which he did adjusted downwards since his mum is a very good housekeeper ) and cannot stand him poking around my kitchen and commenting this and that. i rather shoo him to his computer rather than he helps me and then suggest this and that. he helps out when he is in the mood or cannot tahan the mess. for teaching kids, have to get him at the correct mood and timing. my kids are rather independent if i am sick because they rather play alone/revise work alone than incur the wrath of the father.

[sleepy]

jedamum:

my husband expects me to clean the house and teach the kids. any stuff that he offers to help is on a 'goodwill' basis as 'unspoken' rule, he brings home the bacon, i tend the nest. the alternative is that i go out to work and i still have to tend the nest.

Wow, your dh spoils market le


I always remind my dh I did not quit my job to be a house maid. I would jump on dh if he dares to harbour similar expectations. My plan is to spend time with kids. Full stop.

Theoretically, I'm doing housework & cooking out of goodwill :evil:

[janet88]

sleepy:

jedamum:

my husband expects me to clean the house and teach the kids. any stuff that he offers to help is on a 'goodwill' basis as 'unspoken' rule, he brings home the bacon, i tend the nest. the alternative is that i go out to work and i still have to tend the nest.

Theoretically, I'm doing housework & cooking out of goodwill

I love this line.

[SAHM_TAN]

sleepy:

Wow, your dh spoils market le


I always remind my dh I did not quit my job to be a house maid. I would jump on dh if he dares to harbour similar expectations. My plan is to spend time with kids. Full stop.

Theoretically, I'm doing housework & cooking out of goodwill :evil:

Will remember this line the next time I have use of it :evil:

[LLX04]

hehe, u r a cool champ, sleepy…

That’s what i told my DH before i quit my job -kids are my priority where housework and cooking are really secondary. if i have no time for cooking/housework, he rather we eat out than see my black face… haha

[Canvas]

Sigh! So most of us are feeling the same, under appreciated! Some days I really wanted to quit and go back to work but when I saw my DD’s face, I couldn’t bear to leave her at the nanny’s again.

[BeContented]

Actually sometimes I think SAHM has the stigma of being a notch lower in status :gloomy:

Dunno am I being over sensitive, but despite all the 'flowery' words from relatives/friends etc, the underlying message seems to always boil down to
- SAHM have much easier life at home (to some extend yes, but it's a sacrifice/trade off we have consciously made). WorkingPeople (WP) gotta work so hard and cannot have good-life at home like us
- SAHMs' contributions is valued at a lot lesser than WP

A lot of times, gotta try to be Ah-Q & ignore the remarks by others....else I'll probably start feeling inferior and negative.

Guess SAHM here, we need to give more moral support to each other. :please:

[jedamum]

cwc:

Actually sometimes I think SAHM has the stigma of being a notch lower in status :gloomy:

Dunno am I being over sensitive, but despite all the 'flowery' words from relatives/friends etc, the underlying message seems to always boil down to
- SAHM have much easier life at home (to some extend yes, but it's a sacrifice/trade off we have consciously made). WorkingPeople (WP) gotta work so hard and cannot have good-life at home like us
- SAHMs' contributions is valued at a lot lesser than WP

A lot of times, gotta try to be Ah-Q & ignore the remarks by others....else I'll probably start feeling inferior and negative.

Guess SAHM here, we need to give more moral support to each other. :please:

cwc,
on the few occasions when i mentioned to total strangers that i am a sahm, i get positive remarks. they still feel that on the whole, kids are better left to the care of their own mothers.
only on 1 instance when my bro insensitively complained that my degree is a waste. i told him off by saying that my husband can afford to keep me at home, but can he (the bro) do the same for his wife? :torchme:
after a while, his wife became a sahm.