Raising Resilient Children

[markfch]

Thanks for the compliments, vlim & ksi.

verykiasu2010:

teaching your son to be 'strong' and not be swayed by friends' 'careless remarks' is not a one-sentence one day job. it takes time and makes use of various day to day activities / incidents to impart the value and the merit of it.

but this watch incident is a good start

Sometimes ds will shock me with his level of rationalising; sometimes he'll piss me with that extreme sensitivity he occasionally displays.

Yup, more than academic excellence, I would really like ds to grow up strong in character and stout in perseverance. This watch incident is really a good starting point.

We're been role-playing how to handle further comments from his friends this afternoon. Looks like we're getting somewhere. Really must thank Vevey again for that helpful suggestion. :celebrate:

[markfch]

Nebbermind:

Sometimes it may not be bcoz he was swayed. It might be he just wanted the same watch as his best friend...or some awesome watch his classmate has.

That's a possibility. But for this case, I really think ds was really affected by his friends' comments; or he's a very good actor cos he was shedding tears while relating to me how his friends teased him about his Transformer watch. That's how sensitive he can be, sometimes I also beh tahan.

[Pen88n]

markfch:

Nebbermind:

Sometimes it may not be bcoz he was swayed. It might be he just wanted the same watch as his best friend...or some awesome watch his classmate has.

That's a possibility. But for this case, I really think ds was really affected by his friends' comments; or he's a very good actor cos he was shedding tears while relating to me how his friends teased him about his Transformer watch. That's how sensitive he can be, sometimes I also beh tahan.

At 7, he really want to act more \"grown up\". When his frens teased him about having \"childish\" watch, it must have really hurt his ego that he's seen as a young kindergarten kid still interested in cartoon characters.

But your boy is really \"sweet\" :love: and he listens and understands your \"analysis\". Considered quite matured for a 7-year-old compared with some who will still sulk and throw tantrum with a \"no\" answer, despite any explanation.

[Vevey]

markfch:

We're been role-playing how to handle further comments from his friends this afternoon. Looks like we're getting somewhere. Really must thank Vevey again for that helpful suggestion. :celebrate:

U r welcome! :celebrate:
I'm like DS1's personal drama teacher most of the days.
Luckily, that's my forte!

[markfch]

Pen88n:

But your boy is really \"sweet\" :love: and he listens and understands your \"analysis\". Considered quite matured for a 7-year-old compared with some who will still sulk and throw tantrum with a \"no\" answer, despite any explanation.

Yes he is quite mature in his thinking. In this sense, we're quite blessed. Just now he told me that the most impt thing is not to study hard (I scratched head upon hearing this). He said the most impt thing is to love the subject, cos once you love it, you'll automatically study hard. I asked him did his sch pastors or teachers teach him that? He told me he figured this out himself.

Then yesterday I had a tiff with dw. He came to warn me to avoid dw for the time being cos \"if you talk to her now, she'll get angry easily because she haven't cooled down yet.\"

There's a lot of this type of examples whereby he'll reveal his thoughts to me. Very interesting, yet extremely sensitive little fellow.

[markfch]

Vevey:

U r welcome! :celebrate:
I'm like DS1's personal drama teacher most of the days.
Luckily, that's my forte!

When I fetched ds in the evening, I noticed that he was not wearing his watch. I asked him. He said he only wore it before assembly and during recess, but took it out while in class. Why? He said because a) the classroom already has a clock and b) I'm not scared of people disturbing me now, but if they disturb me, then they'll distract me from doing work. :roll:

Don't know whether to believe him or not? Well, this is the start of the life lesson (of ignoring other people's comment) so I'll just let it be. It's a good start; I can see that ds is more confident today.

[verykiasu2010]

markfch:

Vevey:

U r welcome! :celebrate:
I'm like DS1's personal drama teacher most of the days.
Luckily, that's my forte!

When I fetched ds in the evening, I noticed that he was not wearing his watch. I asked him. He said he only wore it before assembly and during recess, but took it out while in class. Why? He said because a) the classroom already has a clock and b) I'm not scared of people disturbing me now, but if they disturb me, then they'll distract me from doing work. :roll:

Don't know whether to believe him or not? Well, this is the start of the life lesson (of ignoring other people's comment) so I'll just let it be. It's a good start; I can see that ds is more confident today.

it is great to hear that! :rahrah:

kid does learn fast and put into practice immediately, not like adults who like to procrastinate

[LOLMum]

markfch:

Yes he is quite mature in his thinking. In this sense, we're quite blessed. Just now he told me that the most impt thing is not to study hard (I scratched head upon hearing this). He said the most impt thing is to love the subject, cos once you love it, you'll automatically study hard. I asked him did his sch pastors or teachers teach him that? He told me he figured this out himself.

Then yesterday I had a tiff with dw. He came to warn me to avoid dw for the time being cos \"if you talk to her now, she'll get angry easily because she haven't cooled down yet.\"

There's a lot of this type of examples whereby he'll reveal his thoughts to me. Very interesting, yet extremely sensitive little fellow.

your ds :love:

[buds]

Think most moms can pass off the drama queen part.


Markfch, you mentioned you're six times older than DS which makes you roughly 42 yrs old! Really arh! *gasp*

[Busymom]

markfch:

Vevey:

U r welcome! :celebrate:
I'm like DS1's personal drama teacher most of the days.
Luckily, that's my forte!

When I fetched ds in the evening, I noticed that he was not wearing his watch. I asked him. He said he only wore it before assembly and during recess, but took it out while in class. Why? He said because a) the classroom already has a clock and b) I'm not scared of people disturbing me now, but if they disturb me, then they'll distract me from doing work. :roll:

Don't know whether to believe him or not? Well, this is the start of the life lesson (of ignoring other people's comment) so I'll just let it be. It's a good start; I can see that ds is more confident today.

markfch, good thing that your DS actually remembers to bring back his watch after putting on and taking off several times a day. My forgetful DD had left her watch behind in the classroom before. That time she really got my full :rant: as the watch was like a week old. It was also the second watch that I bought for her after her persistent requests as she didn't like the first one (a cheap boyish looking oshkosh, digital, thick rubber strap with a strap holder that she soon lost pretty early on... ok agree it wasn't a great choice and we bought this watch without really asking if she liked, thought that since black watch very hard to find...).

The good point is that she continued to wear the ugly watch until I bought her a second one. However my problem with her is really her forgetfulness and carelessness, and really taking things for granted. A few months after getting the watch, I was told that the watch had stopped working. I was thinking how can the battery run out so fast. On closer look, I saw an awful crack on the watch glass surface. Upon bringing the watch back to the shop, I was told that 2 of the silver markings (it is a dress watch with tiny silver strips to mark the hours on the watch surfacec) had dropped out and they were the culprits that obstructed the minute hand from moving... Just goes to show how bad the impact must have been on that watch :slapshead:

Had to spend $20 to replace the glass and glue back the 2 strips that had dropped out. Now one month later, the watch once again has another awful and long scratch on the glass. No crack this time but still, obvious enough as it is almost across diagonally on the glass surface. :stompfeet:

I have lost count of the number of erasers, glue sticks, pencils/mechanical pencils, pencil lead refill that she has been losing (like she somehow can used up all 10 boxes of refill, each with at least 30 pieces of lead, in a matter of a few months :shock: ), despite pasting her name on all her stationery that she brings out. Even more frustrating as I tend to buy better quality stationery. After I got her to bring back her pencil case from school everyday, the situation has become a bit more controlled... Still, I'm at my wits' end to teach her to be more careful about her belongings? :frustrated: