In-law problems?

[LOLMum]

but janet’s bil is not the only one who wants the parents to sell the flat (if i remember correctly). her hubby’s sister also wants the flat to be sold too or was it about spliting the assets?


so is a draw 2 : 2

[Robiq]

DH and I are finally getting our own home after 5 years of marriage. Our renovations are also all completed. And we are starting the process of getting all the furniture and fixtures in. But we have not moved in yet. On a Thurs, MIL tells me that she has prepared some ceremonial stuff for us to put into the house… rice, oil, vinegar, salt and tea. She says that it is ‘her role’ as a MIL to prepare it.

On Sat, DH decides to bring his mom to see our home for the first time… unfortunately, DD and I are unable to go with them as we both are down with a cold and fever and need to rest. So they go ahead… Come Sat night, DH tells me that his mom likes the place and that the both of them have brought the ceremonial things into the house and placed it in the kitchen.

I just want to check isn’t the ‘ceremonial’ things suppose to be brought into the house by DH, me and DD when we are ready to move in? Not for MIL to bring it in as if it is her home and her kitchen?

[auntieM]

Robiq,

Maybe it was a good ‘feng shui’ day and time and your MIL wanted to help you out…
I moved recently and DH had to buy, carry on our own…stove and all…
This ‘ritual’ meant for the head of the family and kitchen stuff to be bought and placed by the lady of the house…
Why didn’t your DH check with you first de…

[Strparent]

janet_lee88:

My eldest SIL is angry with her hubby's younger brother for the email about wanting parents to sell their flat. He wrote an email to eldest bro saying that he has given parents $100K already for their maintenance and wants the flat to be sold. So that means he is implying that he give $500 every month and expects parents to sell off the flat and return him ??

wtf ?? :censored: :rant:

perhaps yr PIL should reply an email, detailing all the cost incurred in bringing him up since birth, putting him to sch and beyond, years of accomodation and meals, and other side benefits. In all probabilities, the amount will be far in excess of the $100k 'maintenance' he had 'generously' given in all.
In fact, your BIL could end up still ho-tang ( owe ) his parents more than $100k, taking into consideration inflation ! Then he should consider selling HIS home to repay his parents instead. zzzzzzzz

really kns son :mad:

[Rockdiva]

Aiyi… People nowadays r so money mind…if one believes in karma… The whole world will be so peaceful…

[Chenonceau]

I think it is important to stand up for the in-laws (even if you dun like them), against this pressure to sell the roof over their heads. It really is psychologically healthier for older folks to have a place they can call their own… rather than live as a guest in a DIL’s home.


The reality of staying together is very different from the ideal. I have seen old folks threaten to run away from a home they don’t feel at home in… and they’re miserable because they have given up all they have for their kids and they are too old to earn more.

The PIL can move in together with your BIL to TRY OUT the arrangement and rent out their flat for extra income. Then if it does not work out, they will still have a place to stay. Saying this upfront should not put you in bad light because it is a very reasonable position to take… and since you don’t stand to benefit from NOT selling, your good intentions should be very clear.

Thank goodness Janet, you aren’t a greedy and grasping person. If ALL the children gang up to force the old folks to sell, then I think the 2 elderly folks will not be able to resist the pressure.

[mummy of 2]

Ultimately it’s up to the old folks if they wanna sell. Just like in my sil’s case we can’t interfere too much or it will strain the relationships becos my ils are in favour of helping their (downright selfish) daughter.

[janet88]

Chenonceau:

I think it is important to stand up for the in-laws (even if you dun like them), against this pressure to sell the roof over their heads.


Thank goodness Janet, you aren't a greedy and grasping person. If ALL the children gang up to force the old folks to sell, then I think the 2 elderly folks will not be able to resist the pressure.

Yes, you are all so right.
Even though I don't like the old ones, I certainly do not agree to sell that flat.
They must have their own place. It's not that I'm rich but definitely do not want to benefit from this whole thing. As long as the flat is in their hands, I don't get bothered.

That idiotic greedy fella wants everything in his favor...mother to do housework, ironing and maybe cooking. If he convinces the parents to sell the flat, I guarantee he and his wife will throw them on the road...knowing their character. Totally blood-sucking. :mad:

[janet88]

Rockdiva:

Aiyi.. People nowadays r so money mind....if one believes in karma.... The whole world will be so peaceful....

I have to tell u all something...this wife is #2. He divorced first one.
First wife once told me this...she wanted a kid but this idiot told her he only married for that 'thing' :censored: I hated the sight of him from start. Everything I bought for hubby (before marriage) was taken by him. For eg clothes.

[auntieM]

janet_lee88:

Rockdiva:

Aiyi.. People nowadays r so money mind....if one believes in karma.... The whole world will be so peaceful....

I have to tell u all something...this wife is #2. He divorced first one.
First wife once told me this...she wanted a kid but this idiot told her he only married for that 'thing' :censored: I hated the sight of him from start. Everything I bought for hubby (before marriage) was taken by him. For eg clothes.

Hope someone tells the old folks about this 'man'.. ...
Really see this kinda people no up...puiiii :mad: