Raising Resilient Children

[Chenonceau]

busymom… yes, touching read… I learnt something that made my heart go pitter-pat!!

[Busymom]

:hi5: sun_2010 and chenonceau. I found it touching too, thus wanted to share with everyone here. Glad that you like the story.

[markfch]

Sun_2010:

busymom, that was a touching read.


markfch, while this thread started off with one issue, it has moved on to give many useful suggestions and experiences. May I suggest to change the heading to \"Raising Resilient Children\" or some such thing. Just a suggestion

Agree. Subject heading changed as requested.

Busymom:

So, markfch, you are quite a good daddy! Maybe you should consider writing a book...

Err, I've a confession to make. My friend taught me this method lah. I where got so creative?

[Funz]

DD, came home fuming mad again on Tues. The class was going to have a party and DD’s group including her frenemy L, volunteered to make a pinata for the party. The kids tried without success to make the pinata in school last week. DD volunteered to complete the pinata at home over the weekend and she spent the whole weekend painstakingly cooking the starch and layering the newspapers, drying it and decorating it. She brought the finished product to school on Monday to show her friends and all of them were full of praise for DD. L said she will bring the pinata home and then bring it back again on Thursday.


On Tuesday, L passed DD the pinata. It was destroyed. L claimed that her older sis saw the pinata and said it was very ugly and destroyed it. DD spent the evening trying to salvage what was left of the pinata. She said the whole class was looking forward to having a pinata for the party so she has to try to patch it back.

I was surprised that she did not dissolve into tears and end up sulking. There was actually no tears at all, a bit of fuming and feet stomping but what I saw was a determination not to let the class down. I’m pretty proud of her for that. But also pretty irritated with her cos she still defended L. Saying it was not L’s fault, it was L’s sister who destroyed the pinata. Ok, might be true and think I can learn to be more forgiving and less skeptical like DD.

Oh well, in any case, seeing her like that, I baked a batch of choc chip cookies for her to bring to the party. And though a bit petty of me, I am glad L will not be in the same class as DD next year.

[Chenonceau]

Funz:

DD, came home fuming mad again on Tues. The class was going to have a party and DD's group including her frenemy L, volunteered to make a pinata for the party. The kids tried without success to make the pinata in school last week. DD volunteered to complete the pinata at home over the weekend and she spent the whole weekend painstakingly cooking the starch and layering the newspapers, drying it and decorating it. She brought the finished product to school on Monday to show her friends and all of them were full of praise for DD. L said she will bring the pinata home and then bring it back again on Thursday.


On Tuesday, L passed DD the pinata. It was destroyed. L claimed that her older sis saw the pinata and said it was very ugly and destroyed it. DD spent the evening trying to salvage what was left of the pinata. She said the whole class was looking forward to having a pinata for the party so she has to try to patch it back.

I was surprised that she did not dissolve into tears and end up sulking. There was actually no tears at all, a bit of fuming and feet stomping but what I saw was a determination not to let the class down. I'm pretty proud of her for that. But also pretty irritated with her cos she still defended L. Saying it was not L's fault, it was L's sister who destroyed the pinata. Ok, might be true and think I can learn to be more forgiving and less skeptical like DD.

Oh well, in any case, seeing her like that, I baked a batch of choc chip cookies for her to bring to the party. And though a bit petty of me, I am glad L will not be in the same class as DD next year.

:stompfeet: :stompfeet: :stompfeet: :stompfeet: :stompfeet:
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I feel mad just READING your account!! :mad:

My DD too used to be... no... IS still very forgiving and non skeptical. I also, like you, let it go because I want to keep her soul beautiful. BUT, it's hard for Mommy to forgive even though we might find it easy to forgive transgressions against ourselves... and give others the benefit of the doubt.

When it's me, it ok. When it's DD, it's hard for me to say ok.

[Busymom]

Funz:

DD, came home fuming mad again on Tues. The class was going to have a party and DD's group including her frenemy L, volunteered to make a pinata for the party. The kids tried without success to make the pinata in school last week. DD volunteered to complete the pinata at home over the weekend and she spent the whole weekend painstakingly cooking the starch and layering the newspapers, drying it and decorating it. She brought the finished product to school on Monday to show her friends and all of them were full of praise for DD. L said she will bring the pinata home and then bring it back again on Thursday.


On Tuesday, L passed DD the pinata. It was destroyed. L claimed that her older sis saw the pinata and said it was very ugly and destroyed it. DD spent the evening trying to salvage what was left of the pinata. She said the whole class was looking forward to having a pinata for the party so she has to try to patch it back.

I was surprised that she did not dissolve into tears and end up sulking. There was actually no tears at all, a bit of fuming and feet stomping but what I saw was a determination not to let the class down. I'm pretty proud of her for that. But also pretty irritated with her cos she still defended L. Saying it was not L's fault, it was L's sister who destroyed the pinata. Ok, might be true and think I can learn to be more forgiving and less skeptical like DD.

Oh well, in any case, seeing her like that, I baked a batch of choc chip cookies for her to bring to the party. And though a bit petty of me, I am glad L will not be in the same class as DD next year.

:hugs: to your DD! She is so sweet. :love:

But just curious, why did L have to bring the pinata back home on Mon?

Well, if I were you, I would also be very glad that L is not going to be in the same class as your DD.

[markfch]

Funz:

I'm pretty proud of her for that. But also pretty irritated with her cos she still defended L. Saying it was not L's fault, it was L's sister who destroyed the pinata. Ok, might be true and think I can learn to be more forgiving and less skeptical like DD.

I think I understand your feeling. If it were my ds, I will be upset too. As parents, we all want to protect our children and don't like it if we think they're being taken advantage of.

I recently went for a self-improvement course that taught me that when we get angry or stress, our body will generate chemicals which are toxic to our body. That's why stressed people fall sick easily. In the long run, these toxics will cause our body to fall sick and maybe even suffer from serious illnesses. In the meantime, the 'perpetrators' of our misery don't even know the irritation they caused us. So unfair right?

Your dd is so sweet and forgiving. I mean if she gets vindictive and starts cursing L, I think you'll be more worried. Just take it that L is an inconsiderate person who's (fortunately) not going to be your dd's classmate anymore :rahrah: and stop ruminating about it.

At least we can rant our problems here and it has proven to be quite therapeutic for me.

[Funz]

Busymom:

:hugs: to your DD! She is so sweet. :love:

But just curious, why did L have to bring the pinata back home on Mon?

Well, if I were you, I would also be very glad that L is not going to be in the same class as your DD.

Thanks Busymom.

Why did L have to bring the pinata home? I don't know either. I think L was the one who suggested that the group make a pinata for the party so I guess the group kinda deferred to L on this since she was the one who came up with the idea.

[Funz]

Chenonceau:

:stompfeet: :stompfeet: :stompfeet: :stompfeet: :stompfeet:
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I feel mad just READING your account!! :mad:

My DD too used to be... no... IS still very forgiving and non skeptical. I also, like you, let it go because I want to keep her soul beautiful. BUT, it's hard for Mommy to forgive even though we might find it easy to forgive transgressions against ourselves... and give others the benefit of the doubt.

When it's me, it ok. When it's DD, it's hard for me to say ok.

Chen, you reaction bigger then mine leh. Haha.

Yah, my heart ached for DD when I saw all her effort destroyed. But I am also cheered by her bouncing right back into action instead of being defeated. I am sure she will thoroughly enjoy the party especially since the whole class knew she was the one who made the pinata and then they saw how it was destroyed and were disappointed and now that DD has repaired it, plus those yummy cookies that she is bringing, I reckon she will be getting quite a fair bit of attention today.

[Chenonceau]

Funz:

Yah, my heart ached for DD when I saw all her effort destroyed. But I am also cheered by her bouncing right back into action instead of being defeated. I am sure she will thoroughly enjoy the party especially since the whole class knew she was the one who made the pinata and then they saw how it was destroyed and were disappointed and now that DD has repaired it, plus those yummy cookies that she is bringing, I reckon she will be getting quite a fair bit of attention today.

You CLEVER Mommy! There is a lot of gentle determination in what you're doing. Kekekekekeke! Like I said, I wouldn't wanna stand in your way, Mama Bear.