Suspect my maid has hp, advice needed

[clioclio]

Then at maid agency, she kenna a shelling frm the agent


Very traumatising for me–the shouting and all that. Then when the agent ask her, she said she BOUGHT the phone from Compasspoint for $289!!! I don’t even know which part of her is tellin the truth, n which are lies.

Spoke to my Mum abt all that has happened, she told me she had been tolerating my maid all this while (My mum looks after the kids when i work 2 days a week) --maid i always outof sight and my mum had to look after all 3 kids herself …she thought the maid would thn concentrate on housewk, but in reality nothing ws done.

Was told maid askd my mum permission to go d/stairs to buy ‘female stuff’==givn permission already, she go toilet put face cream etc, and CHANGE INTO A SKIRT befre going down for an hour. --this was during the time my mum wd be putting the kids dwn for nap time, so maid thinks my mum woun’t be around to check the time taken by maid. But once, maid went down for one hr (to buy female stuff==come back empty handed. Maid was shocked my mum ad kids still in living room.

In the days she served notice, i varied my schedule =-dont want to give her too much alone time==once i told her, let’ ALL go pick my elder 2 kids up from school. She looked reallyshocked. Ask me baby still asleep, how? How about she stay at home and prepare lunch for the kids. I told her NO, i will just carry bb from the bed to zzz in the car. 10 mins latr she asked me again==wat time we leaving…i was like !!! Don’t u know the usual time, we have bveen on this schedue for the past 6 mths!
–i am not surprised if she hd been using the time i go and pick my kid up fr sch to invite pple or wat.

Now tt shes gone, i have been doing the household work==realised she has dne some many outrageous stuff. The wipe cloth for washing car==she just dumped it in one of the pails and stacked more pails on top. ONE WHOLE WEEK dirty cloth not washed. Does tt mean week after week she just use the dirty cloth to wipe and rewipe?

[carebear]

ClioClio…

Maybe your maid has some other hidden agenda and the handphone thing was just the tip of the iceberg?
But anyway she has left and you can put the issue behind you, although it’s good to ventilate your feelings.
I have employed 4 maids in 15 years.
From the beginning I laid down rules.
They are allowed to have handphone… provided that they use it at their discretion. One of my maids used it while she was ironing. But since she ironed well I just left it as it was. I reckoned that if I was to iron, sometimes I feel bored and would like to multitask by chatting too.
I even gave her a ear piece so that she would not have to strain her neck.

However when I saw her chatting and cooking at the same time, I told her not to as it is not hygienic (saliva may go into food) and also it is not safe as she is distracted and may hurt herself in the process.
She complied.

I hope you will be able to get a reliable maid.
Cheers!

[a child]

Hello,


Just stumbled onto this thread - it’s the March hols and I permit myself some slacking. I’m not a parent but a child and I’ll just like to share my opinion about this.

My maid (if I call her that, I usually call her Aunty) has been with us for two years, and before that her sister was with us for four years. Basically they are allowed handphones and they foot their own bills. Around 2 years into the contract they also manage to save and get their own netbooks and they connect to our home’s wifi, but they obey measures. Like my parents will regulate the wifi such that it’s off from around 1030-in the morning. 1030 because they don’t really want me to use it after 1030. And the maids don’t use the wifi after that. In fact, sometimes they sleep earlier than that because they know they have to wake me up in the morning and prepare my breakfast. They have never ever failed me.

We’ve never had any problems with the maids. They use their phones pretty often, but never in front of my parents. And all the chores get done. That has been the expectation sort of even since they came. Basically they’ll do the chores, cooking, everything, etc. but they do have maybe two to three hours of free time daily since they don’t really look after the children (i.e. me) and they’re allowed to use their phones/netbooks during this time, and sometimes they go out too. But they’re always contactable through their handphones and we find no problem with that.

As far as I know, they have never stolen anything from the home, and after the dayoffs they usually show me some pics they take using the phone - like they’ll go to east coast park, etc. and I have never seen any hint of a boyfriend. They don’t let other maids into the home either, though they do meet other maids when the leave the home, etc.

Furthermore I guess I treat the maids less as outsiders, like we’ll chat sometimes and it’s really interesting to hear about what it’s like back home in a farm, etc. And sometimes my maid will give me a pouch, or some food, etc. (like during birthdays, Christmas) and I do the same in return. And I guess there’s also trust, because we expect her to do her work and she always does it.

Also, I would say that sometimes you have to think for the maids because they are also living, feeling beings. A neighbor has a maid who’s been with them for six years, done nothing wrong. But what happened was that they installed a security camera and it really hurt the maid’s heart because it seemed as though even after six years they don’t trust her. As in I guess the employer also has her reasons but basically what I’m trying to say is that they are sensitive people too, so do watch your actions, not for the sake of practicality but more so because you don’t want to hurt someone.

I’m not really sure how to deal with problems because we’ve never had any, and I’m also only a child, but I hope this other perspective helps anyway(:

[valvestate]

My maid has 2 mobile phones in which the other one was just given away for free so I can contact her anytime. The other one is for her personal # for her to call her relatives.


I actually don't mind at all as long as she takes care of my kid while I'm busy working AND I don't see her SMSing or calling. It irritates me if I caught her doing it.

[huaywenandkenneth]

I keep my helper’s hp at 7am in the morning and return it to her at 10/10.30pm.

This arrangement is a compromise, as she had promised no hp but I found 2 in her possession 4 months into her work. She said her relative (who is working in Spore passed the hps to her). She was also shocked but more scared that I would send her back because of this - but I didn’t as I needed a helper badly then and didn’t have time to retrain one.
I have also been routinely monitoring her with money, she proves to be quite clean with it (returning money when she finds it) so I think she told the truth about the hps.

I have 3 young kids at home and cannot afford having her on the hp while looking after the kids or when doing housework. During weekends when it is less busy or when the kids are napping, I let her have the hp earlier in the afternoon.

So far this hp arrangement has worked well, and she is returning home after her 2 years contract with me.

[peapot]

My first Philipino maid burnt the food while talking and cooking at the same time. I think Hp can be allowed if they are sensible enough to know when is the right time to use and when its not the right time.

[clioclio]

huaywenandkenneth:

I keep my helper's hp at 7am in the morning and return it to her at 10/10.30pm.

This arrangement is a compromise, as she had promised no hp but I found 2 in her possession 4 months into her work. She said her relative (who is working in Spore passed the hps to her). She was also shocked but more scared that I would send her back because of this - but I didn't as I needed a helper badly then and didn't have time to retrain one.
I have also been routinely monitoring her with money, she proves to be quite clean with it (returning money when she finds it) so I think she told the truth about the hps.

I have 3 young kids at home and cannot afford having her on the hp while looking after the kids or when doing housework. During weekends when it is less busy or when the kids are napping, I let her have the hp earlier in the afternoon.

So far this hp arrangement has worked well, and she is returning home after her 2 years contract with me.

That's good that your domestic help honours her word with regard to the hp arrangement. I hope that my new FDW will also be like that (HPs only after work).
Personally I don't like FDWs to have hps, but i guess insisting NO HP policy is like banging a brick wall--it almost impossible to enforce it! So, I am willing to let her use HP after work.

However, my first maid insisted us letting her have hp. She agreed to let me keep her hp in the morning before i go to work and rturn to her only after she finish her work in the evening. But then, slowly she 'forgets' to pass the hp to me in the morning for safe keeping. Then when i ask her for it, she gives me black face. Then she doesn';t pass it to me anymore.
:mad:

[clioclio]

I am expecting a new filipino FDW end april. Do you think I should tell her at the agency that IF she has hp, she can only use it at night (i will safe keep for her) ORshould i just tellher no hp?


I am just worried that if i outright BAN hps, she will get it on the sly and discovering it will just infuriate me. Might as well ‘legalise’ it under control.?

Or say, HPS only after u finish your loan?
What is the arrangement you guys have with yr domestic help/?

[peapot]

I told my maid no Hp in the beginning, she agreed. After one year she asked me for permission. I give in to her because she don’t use Hp alot.


In the past it was easier to enforce no Hp rule but with the rules changing and a weekly off by next year, think it’s quite difficult to tell them no hP.

[Hard Truth]

clioclio:

I am expecting a new filipino FDW end april. Do you think I should tell her at the agency that IF she has hp, she can only use it at night (i will safe keep for her) ORshould i just tellher no hp?


I am just worried that if i outright BAN hps, she will get it on the sly and discovering it will just infuriate me. Might as well 'legalise' it under control.?

Or say, HPS only after u finish your loan?
What is the arrangement you guys have with yr domestic help/?

What was in your original agreement when you took this maid? What were the maid's expectations? Did you talk/check with your agent on this?