Need an advice on office relationship matters

[Sun_2010]

valvestate:

BeContented:

You ARE enjoying yourself.
You ARE happily making all sorts of excuse to spend time with her. :spank:
You ARE Definitely enjoying yourself reading all the responses from us

If yours is a real case, my last posting here cos I can't bear to read it anymore. Good luck to your family.

If it's not, you have fun.

Hmm... now, this response is a bit uncalled for. Pardon me but, did you really read my post and understand it or just quickly glanced it?

I guess I'm just enjoying the company but that's IT. And what's with \"You ARE Definitely enjoying yourself reading all the responses from us\" I'm glad that you are all participating in this thread but this is not for personal enjoyment but rather to just express out my feelings on this public random people on the net. Am I touching her or making any move... NO. Am I starting a flirtatious relationship? I guess NOT. Especially with what we've just conversed earlier.

Just wow... unsure which emoticon I need to use here.

valvestate , one needs to be smart and clever so that others dont make a fool of us. But one needs to be wise in order not to make a fool of himself.

What you share makes it obvious that you are very badly infatuated with her.
You cannot forgo one lunch with her.
The ways you are fooling yourself -
1. I can stop myself but i just dont need to do it just to prove it.
2. I havent yet crossed that line ergo I am in control
3. And your justification that your conversation are normal ...

I know, right now its just all in your mind. But that is where it starts. Frankly try to forgo seeing her image for the weekend.
No lunch with her for 3 days in a row.
See how hard it is , then you will know how deep in you are.

Noone can help you if you are in denial . If you havent realised that you are in trouble , how are you going to get out of it?

Actually posting here may not be a good idea. All our responses have made you more defensive and you have resorted to justifications that seem convincing only you.

And frankly , we care little. If you need a helping hand , right, we may be there, to encourage you to take those small steps. But what you seem to want is a platform to defend your acts. Sadly.

[verykiasumummy]

chrismei:

Spiderlily:

[quote=\"chrismei\"]

Just to share- friend's sis committed suicide recently cos hb had an affair and insisted on divorce. She left behind 2 sons and was SAHM for 2 years. Hb moved back to his mum's place after requesting for divorce. Before she committed suicide, she left a note that identified the 3rd party,hb's friends who encouraged him to divorce n also requested her hb's uncle to celebrate hb birthday after she gone...she loved him so much n wasted 16 yrs with him just becos of this 3rd party..

Do not pity the dead but the living. Poor kids.

There is NO POINT looking back unless it is to see how far you have come or to recheck direction. We move forward in life. If she was able to pull herself together and build a new life for herself and her children, I am sure she will win the admiration and respect of her children and regain her self-esteem. If she had wanted to shame the third party, she could have just gone to kick up a ruckus since she knew who that woman was.

I called and scolded the women, and in one case, threatened to go down to the office and track down her parents. She was so scared she hung up on me but I forced her to call me again. I told her to take my husband, I don't want him, but I'm going to make sure that everyone in her office and her family knows about it. I was ready to burn bridges. Two calls. She quit and left.

Wives! Take pride in yourself and your abilities! The world will not, does not, end just because your husband cheat on you! I walk with my head high. We have done nothing wrong, we do not owe anyone an explanation. If you must take revenge, take it out on the credit card, the car, the cheating couple, but never spite yourself and your kids.

Anyway, we are side tracking. Valveestate's saga continues.

I totally agreed with you. My friend's sis case was published in the newspaper yesterday. She jumped from her apartment, 15 storey and her children were doing home works at that time. Heard her son called the hb to inform him that mum jumped down. Love DH more than children.. 小三 heard is Vietnamese. Haiz..[/quote]jump in the presence of the kids?? that's tramatising!!

[scoobydoo]

valvestate:

12:01...


PRC didn't dropped me any messages asking me out for lunch so I was a bit relieved but I would honestly say that I was waiting for her. :oops:

12:02pm..

Walked past my desk, stopped and she asked hurriedly \"you want to go out for lunch or you'll just take it later?\".... split second decision... should I or not................................................................. I saw her nice sweet eyes... I was weak.

Some other guys were at the lobby and I asked them where they are goin', and they said \"Carl's... \" I was thinking that it would be a good excuse for them to be with us but I don't feel like eating burgers especially in a very heavy food in Carl's Jr. I asked her, \"you like to eat burgers...?\" She was like \"... no... you?\" I was honest to say that I also didn't like to go there so we parted ways with the other 2 guys. We were about to go up to Food Court but I was thinking that we always go there so I offered Yoshinoya instead in which she much preferred. When I was about to pay, she said \"Don't worry about it, it's on me\" I hesitated since it's not our culture that a woman will pay for our meal but I thought, \"I paid for our previous meals so...\" I just joked around \"We should have went to more expensive restaurant, not this fast food.\" She just smiled \"yeah....\" The sweetness of her smile's killing me so I'm trying not to look at her too much. I'm starting to feel more 'comfy' to her in the sense that I can be just a friend to her.

We started talking, she was a fast eater, a bit turn off for me but maybe that's just the way she is. She didn't order any drinks since she said that \"Miso soup is enough\" Odd for me, maybe it's a Chinese culture in eating that I don't get. I had Sprite. Anyhow, it's a pretty relax moment... we started talking about how she is on handling our cases in office then the topic about relationships opened. How she only had a BF for like 6 months back in China in a long distance relationship that they just talk everyday but don't meet too much so they had to end it.. that was 4 years ago. She asked about my wife how I met her and I told her that it was similar to her that we were in a long distance relationship but were dating for several years. I think she was ok with this conversation and then we came into discussion about marriage that she prefers to be alone (single). I told her that she's just alone because the \"circumstance of some guy approaching you is zero\" but she said that there's some China architect guy is trying to win her for a while now but she doesn't like him. She said that she doesn't see the point of getting married at an early age, she's 26. At this point of our conversation with our relationship, I guess I'm beginning to know her more. I'm actually becoming to be more of an adviser at this time telling her to actually 'look for you goal in life instead of just saving money with no clear resolution what you want'.

I'm actually much better now that she's opening up more about herself. I still admit that whenever she smile or when I look at her, there's still a bit of physical attraction. I still feel though that there's something more about her, she mentioned as well that she's actually \"Childish\" but she's composed when we speak most of the time... perhaps due to boss / subordinate relationship but today was a bit different.

How do you women digest what happened today?

Can't help but respond....i think you're kidding.....no, deluding yourself as to where you are heading with this relationship.

[verykiasumummy]

face it valvestate, stop allowing urself to sink into her trap…


PRCs tactics of "flying kite" applies when it comes to "men hunting"…

they will pull a bit, release a bit, pull again, release again… that makes u drool and lose ur control, totally fall into their trap…

[BlueBells]

Lame excuses.


You just want to lead her on, if not, what is stopping you from asking a couple of colleagues in your team along for lunch? If you have any intention of NOT leading her on, it’s easy to find 101 (maybe 1001) reasons not to lunch with her alone.

[concern2]

Mychildren:

.. I went to take some course when I had no kids & was married. There, I met A & B (both she). A sometimes can blew up temper easily, very impatient. I was wondering why she was like that. Later after the course, she called me on information regarding oversea course related to the course we took. I told her some website & asked her to check online. However, she told me her sis told her that the PC can't be used cause scrared got virus. A is ignorant in PC & I told her no such things. I then printed out the stuffs she wanted & mailed to her.
Few years later, B wedded & A & me & some of us who took the course together went. U know what I c??? A was not there but instead two people. But later, I recognised one of them is A's husband (she shown us her wedding photo before) & the other lady beside him, I don't know.
They behaved intimately. OK, I described the intimacy, the lady can picked up the food with chopstick & put into A's husband mouth.
So politely I asked that guy are u A's husband & he said Yes. Then he told me the one beside him is A's sister. I asked where is A then, u know what he did, he dialed the phone & passed it to me.
A talked to me very tirely, she was in hospital, her don't know how many times miscarriage. I was so :mad: , wondering how come the husband like that enjoying the dinner with A's sister & left A in hospital alone. A told me, she had asked her sister to go with the DH.
Then after talking, I passed the phone back to A's husband, couldn't stand it. Some who came to know (same table) walked away to talked among themselves on this matter.
So now, I understand why A has turned to be like that impatient & easily angry. By the way, 3 of them lived in the same house. After that, no more calls from A & I didn't make an attempt to call her either.
Really feel very sorry for her to think that she still trust her DH and sister at that moment.
(Sorri, no time to check grammar mistakes)

Mychildren, your story reminds me of taiwanese show \"犀利人妻\" . Very similar. In the end, the main actress who was the victim like your friend A, moved on to have a successful career (before that a SAHM) , while the husband and the main actress's cousin (who fell in love with her husband) broke up and lost everything.

[Joule]

valve;


pmed you.

[Mychildren]

valvestate,

So many examples & advices already, still need to give some more??? :scratchhead:
So u need a BOX from me on the head??? (Just kidding)

[buds]

Joule, can pm me too?

I kaypoh. :please:

[concern2]

Mychildren:

valvestate,

So many examples & advices already, still need to give some more??? :scratchhead:
So u need a BOX from me on the head??? (Just kidding)

:rotflmao: I was already tempted to give him another whack this morning! Or a black eye so he'll look really off-putting. :rotflmao: :rotflmao: