In-law problems?

[verykiasumummy]

Pinky Piglet:

Hi


I always like to quote this in hokkien
女儿是自己的，媳妇是別人的

very true... applies to all MILs i must say...

not that DIL like us are mean... who dun want family harmony??

u know alot of 辛酸 behind this statement?? so much sufferings will the dh understand and pity us??

[verykiasumummy]

Pinky Piglet:

So what I do now its to keep a distance from mil and try not to tell her so much of my personal stuff or work related issue...

sorry hoh, i dun even initiate to talk to my MIL.. if she ask, i will answer short and sweet ans.. like \"yes\", \"got\", \"not too sure\", \"nv heard of\"....

since nv gonna change any better, dun come n waste my time la...

我看得很开。

[SBKS]

verykiasumummy:

SBKS:

mine is not really inlaw problems but parents problems.


i m sure most of us know how our parents will treat their grandkids and give them what they want. like even when slightly sick like coughing and running nose, still give them to eat durian, cold jelly and sweet, burgers, fastfood.

we tried to talk to them and said no but the old folks will just say aiya nevermind one lah...

anyone got solution for these type of problems?

grandparents are well known for spoiling grandchildren... just tell them in the face that last time when u sick, u also cant eat this n that.. what makes it different from ur kid?

n hoh, many times, i just make the remark and move off with my kid, leaving them to ponder themselves... pls la... they also know its wrong, just tat they think if given in appropriate amounts, nothing will happen... but who knows? last time ppl die of cancer also dunno why but nowadays screen here n there also problem... nothing serious also say got depression whatever... so i always keep their mouths shut by saying diff generation is diff liao...

hi, ya we did...but not working lor...sian...duno wat to do...

cos in the end when the kids fall sick, we are the ones suffering and taking care of them not them.

so seeking advice from here....it's just the grandparents....could it be their mindset is not my DS/DH so not my pasar?

[verykiasumummy]

SBKS:

hi, ya we did...but not working lor...sian...duno wat to do...

cos in the end when the kids fall sick, we are the ones suffering and taking care of them not them.

so seeking advice from here....it's just the grandparents....could it be their mindset is not my DS/DH so not my pasar?

talk to them then.... they actually know but cant help spoiling..
must show them some true fire one day to make them understand u r not just nagging but really mean it...

once i threw away a big bag of candies n choc in front of them! i think about 2-3kg... they got from some neighbours leftover from cny!! i was so mad and they dare not talk to me for a week..

[nightlone]

i came in here looking to su ku then found this thread.

My problem is not so much in law. it's the sisters, especially the eldest one.
My in-laws live with us. The house is under the father and my H's name.
The grandkids come over after preschool/school. The rest of the family comes for dinner, take their kids and then go home. Every weekday.
It all started when the eldest sis, R, put her daughter with stomach flu here in 2008, 2009 (can't remember). I didn't know what stomach flu was. I thought it's just stomachache.
Then my son got it. He was 2, 3yo then. At the doc's, i asked if it was infectious. the doc said yes, quite. So i become very TL already and complain to my H. I said that his sis was very inconsiderate. She jolly well knows it's contagious then she still bring over. But I still didn't say anything to her, only shot poisonous looks at her.
Ok, i'm the kind who needs sleep or I'll be very very short tempered.
As u may know, stomach flu involves fever, vomiting, etc. And if u've cared for small children with these symptoms, u know how it's like. After a few days like that, i blew my top. \"You know why he got the stomach flu?! because your dd got it and then spread to him! u know it's contagious u still bring her here!\" so on so forth.
She became not shuang lor. After shouting a while, she told me to move back to my mum's. I reminded her that she jia chu qu one.
After this, I laid down a lot of rules.
The thing that really irritates me is that she never thot she was in the wrong. She thinks that i'm unreasonable. And the incredible thing is, none of her sisters opened their houses to her when her kids are sick. All put here. She thinks that her leave is very precious. So our leave is not precious. can take leave all time. Mess up my home is ok. Mess up her home not ok :mad:
Another thing that super irritates me (altho not my business) is that her H can sit there read newspaper. His MIL or SIL have to help him bathe his 8 yo. Hey you already 40+, still need them to do this kind of thing for u. whose son is he? u say u are tired, but who is not tired? As long as u become a parent, it's tiring.
Aiyah dunno lah... there are so many things that adds up that I really buay tahan :frustrated:
they think that i led their son/brother astray, that he was such a sweet boy etc. I'm like please lor, look at your own behavior first.

[Pinky Piglet]

Hi all


Everytime when my mil want to go for holiday she will always asked my mum to help look after my kids… Everytime she come back with goodies she will know to give some to neighbour , bil , sil but not my mum. It made me pissed it’s not that I greedy over her goodies shouldn’t she show gratitude towards my mum for helping otherwise how can my hubby and I go to work

[verykiasumummy]

Pinky Piglet:

Hi all


Everytime when my mil want to go for holiday she will always asked my mum to help look after my kids... Everytime she come back with goodies she will know to give some to neighbour , bil , sil but not my mum. It made me pissed it's not that I greedy over her goodies shouldn't she show gratitude towards my mum for helping otherwise how can my hubby and I go to work

ur mil take for granted...

my suspicion is she deep down either dislike/despise ur side so she dun give a damn to buy goodies for ur mum...

not to add oil to fire ya... just my personal opinion..

[verykiasumummy]

nightlone:

i came in here looking to su ku then found this thread.

My problem is not so much in law. it's the sisters, especially the eldest one.
My in-laws live with us. The house is under the father and my H's name.
The grandkids come over after preschool/school. The rest of the family comes for dinner, take their kids and then go home. Every weekday.
It all started when the eldest sis, R, put her daughter with stomach flu here in 2008, 2009 (can't remember). I didn't know what stomach flu was. I thought it's just stomachache.
Then my son got it. He was 2, 3yo then. At the doc's, i asked if it was infectious. the doc said yes, quite. So i become very TL already and complain to my H. I said that his sis was very inconsiderate. She jolly well knows it's contagious then she still bring over. But I still didn't say anything to her, only shot poisonous looks at her.
Ok, i'm the kind who needs sleep or I'll be very very short tempered.
As u may know, stomach flu involves fever, vomiting, etc. And if u've cared for small children with these symptoms, u know how it's like. After a few days like that, i blew my top. \"You know why he got the stomach flu?! because your dd got it and then spread to him! u know it's contagious u still bring her here!\" so on so forth.
She became not shuang lor. After shouting a while, she told me to move back to my mum's. I reminded her that she jia chu qu one.
After this, I laid down a lot of rules.
The thing that really irritates me is that she never thot she was in the wrong. She thinks that i'm unreasonable. And the incredible thing is, none of her sisters opened their houses to her when her kids are sick. All put here. She thinks that her leave is very precious. So our leave is not precious. can take leave all time. Mess up my home is ok. Mess up her home not ok :mad:
Another thing that super irritates me (altho not my business) is that her H can sit there read newspaper. His MIL or SIL have to help him bathe his 8 yo. Hey you already 40+, still need them to do this kind of thing for u. whose son is he? u say u are tired, but who is not tired? As long as u become a parent, it's tiring.
Aiyah dunno lah... there are so many things that adds up that I really buay tahan :frustrated:
they think that i led their son/brother astray, that he was such a sweet boy etc. I'm like please lor, look at your own behavior first.

i can relate very well with ur exp cos i also living with in-laws.. and i hv 4 sis-in-laws!!! all unmarried!! i go hm late late late because i really dun want to face n see them at all...

but very sad to say.. whatever we say to dh, they also just listen, they will not take actions.. they think we should be understanding towards them instead.. if u complaint too much, that becomes ur problem ur fault again...

what to do... i'm just waiting to leave the hse when my hse is here!!

[Pinky Piglet]

Hi verykiasumummy


This is what I felt too but I don’t give it a damn…

[verykiasumummy]

Pinky Piglet:

Hi verykiasumummy


This is what I felt too but I don't give it a damn...

we as DIL cannot say anything too... dun complain also xin ku... complain too much also our fault...

dun forget, mil have dd's too.. their dd's will also become others' dil... and the cycle goes... retribution goes... haha...