In-law problems?
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i came in here looking to su ku then found this thread.
My problem is not so much in law. it's the sisters, especially the eldest one.
My in-laws live with us. The house is under the father and my H's name.
The grandkids come over after preschool/school. The rest of the family comes for dinner, take their kids and then go home. Every weekday.
It all started when the eldest sis, R, put her daughter with stomach flu here in 2008, 2009 (can't remember). I didn't know what stomach flu was. I thought it's just stomachache.
Then my son got it. He was 2, 3yo then. At the doc's, i asked if it was infectious. the doc said yes, quite. So i become very TL already and complain to my H. I said that his sis was very inconsiderate. She jolly well knows it's contagious then she still bring over. But I still didn't say anything to her, only shot poisonous looks at her.
Ok, i'm the kind who needs sleep or I'll be very very short tempered.
As u may know, stomach flu involves fever, vomiting, etc. And if u've cared for small children with these symptoms, u know how it's like. After a few days like that, i blew my top. \"You know why he got the stomach flu?! because your dd got it and then spread to him! u know it's contagious u still bring her here!\" so on so forth.
She became not shuang lor. After shouting a while, she told me to move back to my mum's. I reminded her that she jia chu qu one.
After this, I laid down a lot of rules.
The thing that really irritates me is that she never thot she was in the wrong. She thinks that i'm unreasonable. And the incredible thing is, none of her sisters opened their houses to her when her kids are sick. All put here. She thinks that her leave is very precious. So our leave is not precious. can take leave all time. Mess up my home is ok. Mess up her home not ok :mad:
Another thing that super irritates me (altho not my business) is that her H can sit there read newspaper. His MIL or SIL have to help him bathe his 8 yo. Hey you already 40+, still need them to do this kind of thing for u. whose son is he? u say u are tired, but who is not tired? As long as u become a parent, it's tiring.
Aiyah dunno lah... there are so many things that adds up that I really buay tahan :frustrated:
they think that i led their son/brother astray, that he was such a sweet boy etc. I'm like please lor, look at your own behavior first. -
Hi all
Everytime when my mil want to go for holiday she will always asked my mum to help look after my kids… Everytime she come back with goodies she will know to give some to neighbour , bil , sil but not my mum. It made me pissed it’s not that I greedy over her goodies shouldn’t she show gratitude towards my mum for helping otherwise how can my hubby and I go to work -
Pinky Piglet:
ur mil take for granted...Hi all
Everytime when my mil want to go for holiday she will always asked my mum to help look after my kids... Everytime she come back with goodies she will know to give some to neighbour , bil , sil but not my mum. It made me pissed it's not that I greedy over her goodies shouldn't she show gratitude towards my mum for helping otherwise how can my hubby and I go to work
my suspicion is she deep down either dislike/despise ur side so she dun give a damn to buy goodies for ur mum...
not to add oil to fire ya... just my personal opinion.. -
nightlone:
i can relate very well with ur exp cos i also living with in-laws.. and i hv 4 sis-in-laws!!! all unmarried!! i go hm late late late because i really dun want to face n see them at all...i came in here looking to su ku then found this thread.
My problem is not so much in law. it's the sisters, especially the eldest one.
My in-laws live with us. The house is under the father and my H's name.
The grandkids come over after preschool/school. The rest of the family comes for dinner, take their kids and then go home. Every weekday.
It all started when the eldest sis, R, put her daughter with stomach flu here in 2008, 2009 (can't remember). I didn't know what stomach flu was. I thought it's just stomachache.
Then my son got it. He was 2, 3yo then. At the doc's, i asked if it was infectious. the doc said yes, quite. So i become very TL already and complain to my H. I said that his sis was very inconsiderate. She jolly well knows it's contagious then she still bring over. But I still didn't say anything to her, only shot poisonous looks at her.
Ok, i'm the kind who needs sleep or I'll be very very short tempered.
As u may know, stomach flu involves fever, vomiting, etc. And if u've cared for small children with these symptoms, u know how it's like. After a few days like that, i blew my top. \"You know why he got the stomach flu?! because your dd got it and then spread to him! u know it's contagious u still bring her here!\" so on so forth.
She became not shuang lor. After shouting a while, she told me to move back to my mum's. I reminded her that she jia chu qu one.
After this, I laid down a lot of rules.
The thing that really irritates me is that she never thot she was in the wrong. She thinks that i'm unreasonable. And the incredible thing is, none of her sisters opened their houses to her when her kids are sick. All put here. She thinks that her leave is very precious. So our leave is not precious. can take leave all time. Mess up my home is ok. Mess up her home not ok :mad:
Another thing that super irritates me (altho not my business) is that her H can sit there read newspaper. His MIL or SIL have to help him bathe his 8 yo. Hey you already 40+, still need them to do this kind of thing for u. whose son is he? u say u are tired, but who is not tired? As long as u become a parent, it's tiring.
Aiyah dunno lah... there are so many things that adds up that I really buay tahan :frustrated:
they think that i led their son/brother astray, that he was such a sweet boy etc. I'm like please lor, look at your own behavior first.
but very sad to say.. whatever we say to dh, they also just listen, they will not take actions.. they think we should be understanding towards them instead.. if u complaint too much, that becomes ur problem ur fault again...
what to do... i'm just waiting to leave the hse when my hse is here!! -
Hi verykiasumummy
This is what I felt too but I don’t give it a damn… -
Pinky Piglet:
we as DIL cannot say anything too... dun complain also xin ku... complain too much also our fault...Hi verykiasumummy
This is what I felt too but I don't give it a damn...
dun forget, mil have dd's too.. their dd's will also become others' dil... and the cycle goes... retribution goes... haha... -
I also used to not go home, sit in the nice quiet office until very late but then I realized it was affecting my son. Like that, I only see him in the morning and miss his bedtime. That’s why I quit lor, and went overseas.
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nightlone:
I also used to not go home, sit in the nice quiet office until very late but then I realized it was affecting my son. Like that, I only see him in the morning and miss his bedtime. That's why I quit lor, and went overseas.
??? i hv many question marks... u mean u now overseas?? -
After 2 years then have to come back. If no need to come back, I rather just stay there.
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They are both busy smoking and drinking stout at home. Even used the money meant for utilities for these unhealthy vices. Telephone line was cut off bcos the old man used it to buy stout...called hubby several times last Friday during office hours for money.
Asked hubby why not go for GIRO. He said if using GIRO, they will use electricity, water and telephone like nobody's biz. :slapshead: Wah lau, how long is this going to continue :rant:
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